Nov 062008
 

So there you have it.  Elton is playing Limerick on the 6th of June 2009.

That’s probably a good thing, isn’t it?  A big name like Elton is good for the town, even if he is a demented fucker that I never liked much, and whose success I could never truly understand.

But still, it has to be a good thing that the newly-refurbished Thomond Park is the venue for a gig like that.  After all, everyone here in Limerick takes immense pride in the fact that our local team are European champions and that they now also have one of the finest rugby stadiums in Europe.

It has to be good.  God knows, we get enough negative comment in the national media about the behaviour of our local unevolved low-lifes, as if other Irish cities didn’t have the same issues, so it’s always a good thing to see the many positive aspects of this town getting publicity.

But Elton John?

I’ve just had dinner with my children, and it seemed like the perfect opportunity to raise the question, so I did, like any caring father would.

What about this Elton John fucker in Thomond Park?

You know, it’s a strange thing, but they seem to know more about him than I do.  Daughter thinks he’s a perfect opening act for the stadium.  Bullet doesn’t think he’s a bad choice either, and I find this strange.  I do, really, but maybe that’s just because I never really got Elton.  I never really figured out what the fuss was all about.

To me he’s just a piano player with unfeasibly silly hair and you know, I still can’t work out how he got so rich.  It’s just me, I realise that.  You probably understand precisely why he’s so successful but I don’t get it.  I don’t.  The only song I ever liked was the one he wrote after Mother Teresa died.  Sandals in the Bin.  Maybe he attracts people with loads of money.  Is that it? The Barbra Streisand cardigan-people.  The Elaine Paige Evitista-chesscats smugfuckers.  Celine Dion fake-emotion twinset pearl-necklace boringbastard fuck-off fuckers.  The middle-aged smuggorati. 

Am I wrong?

I know.  I know I’m fucking middle-aged too.  I know that, but at least I never settled for fucking cabaret.  Am I being very hard on Elton? Is he actually a challenging, cutting-edge uncompromising talent with so much to say?  Or is he just an over-paid over-rated lounge entertainer playing over-hyped elevator music?  I don’t know.  Maybe I’m missing the point.  Maybe bland is the new dangerous.

The children reckon that if he enjoys the gig he’ll direct other big names to Limerick, so I suppose we’d better be nice to him.  I’m going to send him an email.

Hi Elton.  You don’t know me, and to be honest I don’t know you either.  In fact, I don’t like you.  But look, I hear you’re gigging in this old town and I thought you might need to be looked after.  So I’ll tell you what.  If you’d like to go out drinking after the show, I’d have no problem bringing you into town for a few scoops.  Introduce you to the locals.  Who knows?  You might get lucky.  Best wishes.  Bock.

What do you reckon?  Would Elton go for it?

  30 Responses to “Elton John To Play In Limerick’s Thomond Park”

Comments (30)
  1.  

    You should ask auld Rocket Man to do John Hegarty’s Limerick (possibly the most, if not only, beautiful song written about Limerick).
    He has been known to get a bit hysterical from time to time has auld Elton, but i’d let him have a civil partnership in my country any day.

  2.  

    I’m an unashamed big fan.
    He and Bernie Taupin have written some great songs. Elton is a talented pianist. (He won a scholarship to the Royal Academy of Music.) Yes, crazy hair, he’s been ridiculously temperamental and thrown some massive tantrums, but since he got his act together with drugs and drink, he’s calmed down — and given millions to charity. As far as I know, donated all the proceeds from at least one album to charity, all proceeds from some concerts also. He’s also a big supporter of Amnesty International. And AIDS research.
    And I do like his songs! Music can be for all sorts (like relaxation) – doesn’t have to have a message.
    As for cabaret, Jacques Brel? Charles Aznavour? Edith Piaf? None of them do it for you?

  3.  

    I can see this post is going to piss people off.

    Oh well …

  4.  

    Have to say BOCK, bland definitely defines that twat. Had a brief mention in a hostlery just yesterday evening with one half of the new monday night country duo and the two of us just bust out laughing when the subject got an airing. Couldn’t help it, just the thought of Thomond park being basterdised in this manner probably causes this kind of effect on most music fans. But fair dues to those who can admit to not noticing how much time has moved on, especially in music spheres.

  5.  

    Can’t say I’m an Elton fan either but I have to admit he is one big name for the opening gig in Thomond Park.Hopefully a sign that the venue is going to be a serious player in the Irish live music scene.

  6.  

    “I can see this post is going to piss people off.”

    Bock, they’re the ones that are great craic.

  7.  

    The guy is seriously talented. I wouldn’t confuse his lifestyle and his music.

    And what if he is a Muslim?

  8.  

    Elton HUSSEIN John?

  9.  

    Listen to “Tumbleweed Connection” after first expunging everything from your memory that came later and you might get it. When I first heard that album, knowing absolutely nothing about him, I was blown away and it’s still brilliant.

  10.  

    No, his middle name is STEVE.

  11.  

    You mean STEVE as in Muhammad Saddam STEVE Bin Laden Hack-Me-Dinnerjacket?

  12.  

    No. Barak STEVE Obama, as on Paddy Anglican’s video.

  13.  

    Oh don’t mind that fuckin old priest. You can’t trust what they tell you.

  14.  

    PS: here

  15.  

    It was STEVE hisself what said it.

  16.  

    Bock – LMAO at ‘Sandal in the Bin’. Looking forward to Elton coming to town for sure, hope I get a few tickets. Maybe Elton would also do his other big hit ‘Goodbye Ballynanty Road’ if we throw a few yellow bricks at him to remind him. I’m sure the regeneration will supply the bricks as part of their heritage brief, particularly when they demolish Moyross.
    C’est le Craic – is that the John Hegarty or the other John Hegarty?

    Nuts

  17.  

    His Live Album: 17-11-70 is worth a listen. After that it was all downhill. I think he’d go for a few scoops with you no problem.

  18.  

    This will be the gig I get fucking tickets to.

    Sacred heart of Jesus Christ almighty look down and protect me from Daniel who travels tonight on a train, to Thomand fucking park. Where Shannon play against Cookies and Garryowen fuckers and Soda cakes in Transfield cup finals.

    Her indoors is asking for tickets.

    Oh sweet Jesus.

  19.  

    surly it should be Barry John?
    What position dose Elton play in? my guess would be loose head

  20.  

    I have thought he’d slot into the back row easily enough, df.

    Won’t be heading out the Yellow Brick Road in my feathers that night, but at last we now have a proper sports and music venue to accommodate big-name acts without having to travel outside town or stay overnight in that dump up the road.

    Bring on Lenny.

  21.  

    Tight head, loose head, hooker, full back. I’d say Elton wouldn’t mind.

  22.  

    Sinatra did cabaret!

  23.  

    I find the Sinatra cabaret thing cheesy and insincere, but hey, that’s just me.

  24.  

    I HATE Sinatra.

    It’s all a matter of personal taste.
    At least Hoof called Elton a “big-name act”. Nobody gets to where Elton’s got through lack of talent. He’s also not afraid to be an individual and that’s a quality I admire. He’s been through hell. But he’s still standing.

  25.  

    Stet semper!

  26.  

    The point i was making was Sinatra was possibly the greatest entertainer of the 20th century. His greatest work was not done in cabaret, but was very good in that setting. I am not an Elton John fan but i imagine he will put on a great show. These guys surround themselves with great musicians.
    P.S. Bock.Cohen is a big Sinatra fan.

  27.  

    Reg does seem to have got progressively more boring with time.
    I’ve seen him live twice, but wouldn’t pay to see him now.

    But I’ve noticed that Tina Turner has come out of retirement and is treading the boards again.
    She’s plays London in March and Dublin in April.
    Now she’s NOT boring, even though she’s pushing 70.


    Steamy Windows, Chicago, October 9th 2008

    Trouble is, the tickets are a rip-off at around £200 and upwards!

  28.  

    I prefer Dino myself.

  29.  

    That’s amore of it!

  30.  

    two tickets available for elton john in thomond park. E300.00 for both. available immediately.

    [Mod edit: Contact details removed.

    Offer the tickets at face value or forget it. This is not a tout site.]

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