Half Band Half Busker

I was standing at the bus stop earlier this evening, being socially responsible by not driving drunk, when a car pulled up.

It was the Infant Jesus.

You heading into town?

No.  It’s my hobby to stand at bus stops in the freezing cold.

Get in and shut up.

I’m truly grateful for being rescued from the ridiculous non-service that is Bus Éireann. 

Howya? I say.

Grand.  We’re gigging tomorrow night.

Dolans?

Yeah.  Kind of a tribute band.  Half-Arsed Half Biscuit.

I look at him a little crooked.  You mean, like Half Man Half Biscuit?

Yeah.  It’s a tribute to a band nobody ever heard of. 

Nice concept, I say, but possibly not a huge money-maker.

No, The Infant Jesus says.  True, but still, that’s Art for you. 

How are the rehearsals going?

A shambles, the Infant grimaces.  But still better than the original.  We were thinking of doing more tributes.

To other bands no-one ever heard of?

Yeah. 

Like?

Well, the Cramps.  Atomic Rooster.  That kind of thing.

Richard hell and the Voidoids?

Sure.

Not Mogwai, I hope?  Or Arab Strap?

Get the fuck out of this car now. You can walk into town.

Jesus Christ, Infant Jesus, chill.  I was only joking.

The Infant Jesus doesn’t look too chilled and I’m seriously worried.

Did you say fucking Mogwai?

No, I assure him.  I said Hog Pie.  I just love eating hog pie.

The Infant relaxes and puts away the stun gun he pulled from the glove box.

Sorry, he says.  Sorry.  For a minute there I thought you said …

God no, I reassure him.  Let me out here.  Thanks.

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In one of those happy coincidences, Mr Darwin also has something on  them HERE.  Probably a lot better than this shite.

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