Drinks Anyone?

Dec 20th, 2008 | By Bock | Category: My life

There’s been too much gloom and misery here in recent days, and I’m sick of it.  I’m going out for a pint soon and you’re welcome to join me if you wish.

I’ll probably go to Tom’s, Nancy’s, an Teach Bán and Jerry’s.  I might end up in Costello’s later, or maybe Dolans if there’s a decent band playing, but we’ll take that as it comes.  The night is but a pup.

I’ll be easy to identify.  Hand me a pint and I’ll say Thanks very Much!!

That’s how you’ll recognise me.

Now, wait till I think.  What about organising grub? 

Hmmm.

Well, I could always cook that piece of venison Parkenstein gave me earlier.  Here, he said.  I shot this.

What??  You shot a reindeer?  At Christmas??

Well what did you expect me to do? he countered.  Beat it to death with a rusty bucket?

That’s not what I mean.  You killed Bambi.

Do you want it or not?

OK.  Thanks.  I’ll roast it later and we can have it cold on Christmas Day.  People will just love eating Rudolf.

So that’s not an option. I have two nice Angus striploin steaks in the fridge but I don’t feel like cooking, so I’ll probably just go out, fill myself up with Guinness and eat a lot of peanuts.  What do you think?  The three essential nutrients: peanut oil, salt and Vitamin G.

There was a time when I used to need Vitamin N from a box of fibre-packed, nutrient-rich cigarettes, but those days are over.  From now on, it’s strictly C2H5OH, and that’s what I plan to consume tonight, while expounding on my newly-developed relativistic theory of money, for which I fully expect to win the Wurlitzer Prize.  No more Cartesian cash for me.

All right.  Enough nonsense.  As you know, there are three time-settings.  Summer time, when the clocks go forward one hour. Winter time when the clocks go back one hour.  And Christmas time, when the clocks fly forward three and a quarter hours and now it’s nearly half past six and I should be in a pub immediately.

This is urgent.  I have to go. Talk later.  Don’t forget that pint.

12 comments
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  1. savannah December 20th, 2008 6:40 pm

    works for me, sugar! here’s to you. xoxooxx

  2. Sean Jeating December 20th, 2008 7:33 pm

    As my worm-hole somehow doesn’t work tonight, please have a pint of plain for me, Bock. Or two. Sláinte!

  3. unstranger December 20th, 2008 7:33 pm

    thank’s for the invite, might be out in the burbs however, john & murt giggin with joe brown in the russell. if i get back to town i’ll be too pissed to bother, probably, so thanks

  4. Bock December 20th, 2008 7:34 pm

    Savannah — Thanks, Honey!

    Sean — It’s yer only man. Prosit!

    Unstranger — Okelydokely neighbour.

  5. His Girl Friday December 20th, 2008 7:56 pm

    I’m with Savannah on this one. :)

    If I’m ever out your way, a pint’s on me, Bock. Meanwhile, I’ll be over at my friend’s pub tonite, will raise a glass to all your wonderful blethering… :D

  6. The Bolted Nut December 21st, 2008 7:40 am

    Bockser, I’ll be in the Big Apple, with the sound of ‘your wonderful blathering’ still ringing in my ears after Friday night in the White House, have a good one, hope Santa brings a nice LH for you.

    Nuts

  7. Bock December 21st, 2008 12:02 pm

    Enjoy the Apple, Nut.

  8. stleger norma December 21st, 2008 1:01 pm

    wishing bock and all bockees a very happy christmas, i have opted for a white christmas instead of a tight christmas.

  9. King's Bard December 21st, 2008 1:26 pm

    Jesus Bock what a night I’ve had.
    I took you up on the invite and went to the Teach Ban which I skillfully decoded as the White House. I must have bought 20 pints for complete strangers. I was threatened with a smashed in face by one bloke who thought I was calling him a robber Sham. A sheven headed guy told me not to flatter myself duckie!!
    So having been accused of going after thigh I adjourned downstairs for a Thai instead.
    No more pints for strangers for me..

  10. Hangar Queen December 21st, 2008 2:44 pm

    You mean you didn’t wear the stripey jumper,black flat cap,and eye mask? No bag with ‘SWAG’ on it?
    I gave that lad in Henry St a rake of pints anyway..bollix!

    You’re an awful messer.

  11. Bock December 22nd, 2008 1:51 am

    HGF — I’ll take you up on that.

    Norma — And the very old same to you!

    KB — Jesus, sorry for getting you into trouble. I’ll have to talk to the locals about hassling my people. Maybe this is a case for men with hats (and violins!)

    HQ — No. I didn’t wear any of that stuff. you should know I stopped doing that years ago after building up my empire. Lackeys and henchmen carry out my bidding these days.

  12. Claudia December 24th, 2008 1:33 am

    I go more for French wine. But I’ll raise my glass to your good health anytime for what you said about Leonard Cohen. À la vôtre, Sir! More than once…

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