Irish Pig-Meat Crisis

Why so gloomy, Brian?


I had to withdraw the pork in a hurry.


Jesus, I hate it when that happens!

Yeah.  Me too. 

How the fuck do you think I feel?

37 thoughts on “Irish Pig-Meat Crisis

  1. I’ll give the F’n e’F’ers 10 out of 10 for cheek on this one.

    Biffo is off to Brussels looking for a bailout for the Porkies from the EU after the Lisbon vote. Better luck tapping Lord Ganley and his Neo-con buddies in Liberass.

    …and now news that Irish cows have been fed bread wrappers as well……what a fuck up.

  2. Bread wrappers aren’t the problem , Hoof.

    The problem is somebody putting waste mineral oil into animal feeds instead of vegetable oil.

  3. The problem is the “fire it in, t’wil be grand” mentality of a few meal producers will probably take 3 or 4 per cent off our GNP.

    Treason, I say

  4. Old Sarko the cunt must grinning his inflated fucking head off.
    Ay’ve got you now, you vucking Eereesh bastars, zis will teach you to make me look like ze assshole in front of ze europe. Ay own zis place, bitches !

    Just looking at his smug, conniving face makes me want to beat the screen in. He’s like Haughey on speed

  5. Thanks Bock, correction noted. They certainly are learning the hard lesson re paying for monkeys and getting nuts.

    Just heard on radio that Galtee rashers are made from Danish bacon. (Da Jo-Duuufffy Show being the source, sooooooo…..caveats, etc.).

    C’est, you want Biffo-rule instead? Please take him. We can throw in Mary as well for the price of a hairdo, but you’ll have to feed her.

    Keep Sarko. Can we have Carla?

  6. The thing about Biffo is at least you know where you are. He doesn’t make much of an effort to hide his incompetance. Sarkozy hires the best publicity companies in France to make him look good and clean up after his many outbursts. Did ya ever notice that no matter whats goin on in the world, the cunt lands down in front of the cameras, looking energetic and talking shite. He doesn’t accomplish much but you don’t soon forget him. Question is, who’s payig the publicity agency bill? And I can tell you it’s not cheap.
    Your right though, his missus is fit. We’ll keep her.
    As for the Harndog, I very much doubt that you or anyone else could throw her anywhere. Is that crane we used for the millenium (loose definition) spike still knocking around?
    Anyway she’d be too expensive to feed, there’s a recession on. Have you anything in a St. Bernard?

  7. Julio — I’d have to agree with you. This was an act of national sabotage.

    Craic — Yes, but we did offer him an open goal, didn’t we?

    Hoof — Wait till it emerges who the big pork producer is. I’d say there will be a right old ding-dong.

  8. I have a serious question that goes to the heart of this piece of yours,

    where did ya get the picture of that french looking bird, from your wallet I suppose?

  9. and what were you doing with a picture of that man’s wife in your wallet? scandal I say, scandal.

    and as for the pig crisis, you only have to read the moriarty tribunal to know that this was inevitable

  10. How very true. As Justice Moriarty remarked: It’s only a matter of time before someone illegally sells dioxin-contaminated coolant oil and someone else puts it into pig feed.

    Obvious. I mean who wouldn’t feed pigs with fucking diesel?

  11. This little Irish pig ate diesel, and this little Irish pig ate none, and this little Irish pig was organic, but they were ALL sent wee wee wee home.

    And the government huffed and it puffed but it couldn’t back down.

  12. how come they took all the fresh pork, bacon and ham off the shelves in Tesco but the frozen ”Irish cocktail sausages” were still there? Does freezing get rid of the taste of burnt oil?

  13. Bock – you should have had your lunch today in Russell’s. Menu: DANISH ham. Howdya know? they had the wee label laminated and stuck to the diplay case in front of your nose. Openness and transparency par excellence. BUT – what have they been passing off all along as Limerick Ham to all the jingoistic lunchgobbling packet-and-tripesters? How did they organise a supply of Danish Ham so conveniently, without any break in continuity of the food chain?

    There’s only one plausible theory. They must have a well-settled source of Danish Ham. Work it out…


  14. Bock,

    I’m sure you’re aware of the old programming saying, “shit in, shit out” – it applies to most things and it ain’t rocket science. This kind of thing is unacceptable and I’d like to know why these tossers don’t learn lessons.

  15. Have it from irish foods distributor in england that galtee is irish bacon, not danish (unfortunately for them!) and UK foods standard authority says food processing plant used by galtee is not on the list of “infected” ones – yet.
    Love the website!

  16. There isn’t a list of contaminated processing plants. All Irish pork and bacon was withdrawn, including organic produce, and meat from plants that had nothing to do with the polluted feedstuff, which is an utterly insane situation

    As I understand it, Galtee pork and bacon are not of Irish origin.

  17. Like the site – I have a small Restaurant with a good breakfast trade so I removed ALL my pork products and returned them to my suppliers – They were quick off the mark to assure me that none of the Rashers were in fact Irish but came fron Holland its just the wrapper that says its packed in Ireland – How about this for a can of worms!

    Who is telling porky pies?

  18. Galtee Irish-style breakfast. It’s all bullshit.
    Which do you prefer — Irish smoked salmon or smoked Irish salmon?

  19. Have a look at the “Irish” cheeses on your supermarket shelf. Old Dubliner, Wexford Cheddar, Golden Vale and who knows how many other brands all have an EU country of origin disc – which can more easily be read with a microscope of the type used by genetic scientists – which reveal all these “Irish” cheeses are actually made in the UK!

    Fucked if I’d buy any of that wrapped up shit anyway so, instead, an unashamed plug with apologies to Mr. JC of Nazareth:

    “Blessed are the Cheese makers of the Saturday morning market “.

  20. the hse have announced this morning an outbreak of botulism among heroine users in dublin, 1 person has died and 6 people are being treated, so what are we looking at? ok, we can avoid pork, even though there is no evidence to suggest the majority of pork producers were affected…..but wait what will the government do about the potential outbreak of botulism ? its not airborne, primary entry through wounds or contaminated food, will they corral all the heroine users ? will they test all the heroine supplies ? are the hospitalised patients quarantined ? whats going on out there, its looking like a very bad novel.

  21. Stleger norma – normally I try not to be pedantic about typographical matters, but I had to read your post a few times to get your meaning. What is a heroine user? I couold use a heroine myself if you know of any to spare. I wouldn’t like to be corralled, however – the next thing is someone would want to brand the ‘Circle H’ logo on the cheek of my arse or somewhere equally embarrassing. Your propensity for equestrian-themed similes never ceases to intrigue me, however.

    I think labelling all the heroin is a good idea iof that’s your suggestion, even though Iv’e never seen any on sale in Tesco.


  22. “methinks the bolted nut doth protest too much” whereas i appreciate your observational skills of my “typos” and i have learnt so much from said observation, my sense of awareness must on occasion bypass the connection between brain and hand, i not only thank you, but i embrace the lesson.
    however i must draw your attention to your own post and the word “couold” how sweet, were you just trying to make me feel like an equal, how chivalrous.
    with regard my constant use of equestrian terminology, unavoidable, i do also note the ambiguity of your chosen title “the bolted nut” now that could be either equine or mechaniclal ? if i were an equestrienne then i would have encountered a “bolted nut” in my time.
    i don’t think you try at all not to be pedantic, in fact i think that is why you are so charming, your attention to detail is an honorable trait, as for not liking being corralled or branded….i wonder, maybe the “spare heroine” could feed you hay and nuts, break out the dandy brush and you would find blissful contentment.
    i would have no idea what is on the shelves in tesco, i have a mortal fear of supermarkets and only venture there under extreme duress.

  23. c ‘est le craic…etre doue pour les langues ? but what is a “countdown fan” i am obviously bereft of what i suspect must be daytime tv ?
    bock, hopefully you will recover, weather is too bad to remain overcome with emotion, and its christmas…no tears.
    i might cry though at the 180 mil the “government” are giving the pig farmers, and they could’nt find the 10 mil for the cervical cancer vaccinations? mon dieu!

  24. norma – je préfer être doué avec la langue ;)
    The governments backtracking on HPV vaccinations may have been a blessing in disguise. Many concerns have been raised about Sanofi Pasteur’s ‘Gardosil’ vaccine.
    I did a long winded and boring post about it if ever you find yourself with a bout of insomnia.
    As far as I understand, the 180 mil is to bail out processors, only the farms who gave the contaminated feed (unknowingly) to their herds will be compensated because all their animals will be slaughtered and disposed of.

  25. stleger norma – obviously you are no mere student of turf but a francophilic Shakesperean scholar as well, nothing like a dash of Lady Mac to brighten up this dreary Friday. As for my poor typing skills, mea culpa, but I only mis-cued couold once? Two heroines in one saga is more than coincidental to your humble scribe.

    In your ponderings of my nom-de-plume, please bear in mind also the psychiatric dimension.

    I’m well tended for both hay and nuts as things presently stand, being liveried in accommodating winterage in very good heart, and enjoying a never-ending supply of sweet spring water. However I wouldn’t wish to fling your kind suggestion of hay and nuts back in your face, so to speak, both are much appreciated.

    Let me assure you that tesco don’t do heroin, be not afraid to explore. They’re more into yellow pack than yellow crak, really.

    have a nice weekend


  26. c’est la craic. i will read your “long winded” post on vaccines, i researched vaccines when my kids were small and decided not to administer same, i merely mentioned the cervical vaccine as a government policy issue not a course i would subscribe to personally
    “bolted nut” delighted your livery is accomodating, but whereas i suggested your protests of being pedantic were a moot point, your ego however may not be so ? my kindly suggestions were far from being an invitation ! in this especially inclement weather all my gee gees are well rugged and stabled to full capacity, actually i must now go muck out and bring my darlings in to their cosy beds. which reminds me of the true subject of this post, little piggies and compo, the foot and mouth outbreak nearly broke me, as import of horses was banned, even though horses do not carry same and all persons involved in said industry took massive precautions in regard to transportation, there was no suggestion of compo for us back then
    in the true spirit of geniality i will refrain from references to your “pedantic” posts and suggest it to be mere pettifogging.

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