Bock’s Beef Curry Recipe

 Posted by on January 27, 2009  Add comments
Jan 272009

I made a really nice dinner tonight, but I didn’t eat it because I had things to do. I just felt like cooking something nice. Did you ever do that — cook something because you felt like cooking?

Hmm. Now I’ll have to round up a gang of reprobates and drunkards to eat it, with lots of beer and wine and shite-talking. Fuck it, that’s a bit of a problem. Where will I find anyone to drink loads of beer and talk shite while eating free food?

Oh wait. That would be all of my friends. Phew! Problem solved.

Isn’t it great when you share a difficulty with people, the way the answer just seems to present itself? Just great.

I got out the big heavy cast-iron wok, the one I bought that time when I was feeling rich. The big fuck-off le Creuset one. And I tossed in a good dollop of that oil I’ve been keeping in the glass jar, with all the chillis in it. Let that get nice and hot.

Then I threw in a stick of cinnamon, maybe about an inch and a half or thereabouts. Half a dozen black cardamoms. A few green ones. About ten black peppers. A couple of bay leaves. Two or three spoonfuls of ground cumin. Some cumin seeds. Some coriander seeds. Some fenugreek seeds. A piece of cassia bark and one or two curry leaves.

When I say some, I mean an arbitrary amount determined by how you happen to feel when you pull them out of the jar. A pinch or a fistful depending on your mood.

Food, I find, is the most accurate possible indication of human feeling. If you happen to be in a murderous frame of mind when cooking, the meal will be as close to poisonous as you can get without going to jail. If you feel good, the grub will be heavenly.

The spices are sizzling away but did I forget anything? Well, you could throw in a few fennel seeds too if you like. Maybe even a bit of mace if you have it. Let it all sizzle for a while. A minute or two.

I chopped a few onions very fine and threw them in. I pricked a hole in four or five green chillies but didn’t cut them up. Threw the whole lot into the mix and let it sizzle some more. Then I cheated and instead of chopping up my vine tomatoes, I emptied two tins of tomatoes into the thing. Ha!

Now, I don’t know if you realise this or not, but ground coriander is one of nature’s best thickeners. I never use artificial muck for this. Throw in a few spoons of ground coriander. Throw in another couple of spoons of cumin. Lovely. Fresh coriander is a bastard to keep alive, though, and I can’t tell you how many of those plants I tried to grow on the window-cill, without success. It’s a bastard. if you can buy sprigs of it, do, but if not, you can always just use powder. It’s a bastard to grow.

Where was I? Oh yeah. I cut off about an inch of ginger and peeled it. Flung it into a jar. Crushed about ten garlic cloves, took off the skin and threw them in as well. I poured in about a quarter of a tub of natural yoghurt. I have one of those stick blenders which I find great, but you can do this any way you want. I whizzed up the ginger, the garlic and the yoghurt into a paste, and threw the whole lot into the wok. Cook away.

If it isn’t hot enough for you, chop up a few chillis or add some chilli powder. If you’re not used to it, add the chilli a little at a time.

While that was all bubbling away nicely, I chopped the beef into small cubes. Some people like big cubes and some like skinny strips. That’s up to you. I like small cubes. Fuck off.

I tossed all of the beef into the mix and let it cook away for another few minutes. Then I put it into the oven at about 120 C for a while. I don’t know exactly how long. Probably approximately about a metric while.

This is where I pile in a load of garam masala. Do it to taste. Whatever you think is right.

Right. Now some people like lentils in a beef curry and some people don’t. It’s a matter of taste. I do, so I flung in a metric handful of split red lentils. Add some extra water or another can of tomatoes if you do this. I also threw in the rest of the yoghurt, and then I shoved the whole lot back in the oven for an indeterminate time. Just cook the fucker until you like the look of it.

Serve it with rice or, in my case, chapatis. Make the chapatis yourself. Here’s how.

One other point. A thing like this is better left for a day or two in the fridge to infuse the flavours into each other.



PS Thanks to c’est le Craic for the pic.

  31 Responses to “Bock’s Beef Curry Recipe”

Comments (31)

    the intro reminded me of the film Mister Frost, where Jeff Goldblum is shown cooking an absolutely fantastic looking meal. He then photographs it, throws it in the bin, and pastes the photo to the wall next to a load of other photos of meals.

    Mmmm…. quirky serial killers.

    The curry sounds delicious – wouldn’t eat it myself because of the cow, but the sauce sounds fantastic.


    If I had ever wondered about your true identity, I would deduce from this that you are, in fact, Gordon Ramsey.


    Bock I want to attend your cooking school. I believe that I could follow your instructions. A few here a handful there You put Martha Stewart to shame. All of that cooking for your friends. I can just imagine the delicious aromas coming from the Bock Kitchen. Do you cater, Bock?? Or can I order take out? Do you have delivery service? You could have another career.


    I love a good curry, but I normally get my Uncle Ben to do the hard work for me.


    Monosodium glutenicious…


    Fresh coriander – break your heart trying to grow that stuff… Now, have you ever thought about doing an ad for le Creuset?


    Jesus, you’re Betty fucking Crocker now. (Bocky Crocker)


    I hope you didn’t lick your fingers. Chefs have been fired for less!


    yuuummmmy! i did a hot n sour prawn soup followed by red thai curry w chicken and jasmine rice on saturday night..
    even tho it took me a bloody age to get all the ingrediants, the right person was impressed ;)
    i like the sound of this curry you made.. bocky croker indeed!


    Bock the WOKker!


    I’m printing this out. Good work.


    Bock, it’s far from telling me grandmother how to suck eggs I was reared…. But if you dip the beef cubes in a mix of cornflour and water ( 1 tbsp. of cornflour stirred into a little less than 3 tbsp. water) for a few seconds to coat the beef, it healps seal in the flavour once it hits the wok. Works with Lamb and Poultry too.

    Never tried a curry with tomatoes before, but I’ll have a go at that recipe, not forgetting to leave some over for breakfast.

    Those Chapatis look a more tempting accompaniment than rice. I’ll keep an eye out for the recipe but will probably go off and buy some for now.


    I have to disagree with you there, Mr Hoof. Sorry.

    I don’t use that method because it prevents the meat taking on the flavours of the herbs and spices. You have to let the flavours infuse.

    Also, I don’t like the texture of a sauce produced from cornflour, but I wouldn’t use a roux in a curry either.

    Of course, that’s just my personal preference. You can do it whatever way you like best, and I promise not to be looking in the window to check up on you.

    Don’t buy chapatis. Buy chapati flour and make them yourself.


    Where’s your fresh coriander from ?

    Just asking in case yours was from a different place to most places over here.


    It’s from a pot on my window-cill.


    I wish I could grow things in pots. I managed to grow 5 ginormous Leyland Cypresses at the bottom of the back garden without even looking at them. And an enormous forsythia. But a pot plant or a herb indoors? Everything dies — I think from under or over-watering. I even managed to kill two spider plants and three busy lizzys. So all my herbs come in jars. (sigh)


    Nora — Those godawful Leylandii are the vermin of the plant world. Dreadful. They should be banned from this country.

    And yes, it’s very hard to manage indoor plants. I routinely kill them by neglect, and sometimes I just kill them out of spite, by drowning them or setting fire to them, but that doesn’t happen often, luckily.


    Maybe I should set fire to the Leylandii. They’ve cost me a fortune getting them topped.

    I was young, and I love trees. And the guys in the nursery never bothered to tell me they’d grow 150 ft every time I blinked.

    One thing I do have is a little bay tree in the kitchen. I love my bacon.


    Bock if you chop up the roots of the coriander plant it gives a far more intense flavour. Try it sometime.


    Ten garlic cloves?? Whoa! I’d say the stench of that would be pulsating out of your sweat pores.Try lamb instead of beef next time. I think lamb is the perfect meat for curry. Oh, and add a nice drop of good lamb stock as well and instead of lentils, try a little bit of pearl barley, I love that stuff..


    You seem to have overlooked the fact that this is a recipe for a beef curry.

    Lamb is something different.


    Er..ok! Beef is good, especially shin beef, for curries. Just that a couple of weeks back I made a curry quite similar (although not entirely) to your one using lamb and lamb stock and it was absolutely gorgeous, although I think I may have overdid it with the cardamoms.
    You may know about it already but there’s a great little shop for Indian foods and spices just as you turn left at the Round House pub and head into Denmark street. Very reasonable prices as well.


    I know that shop but I generally get my stuff from the one in Baker Place. I must have a look in there.


    Baker place? I must check that one out, thanks.


    The square, not the pub.


    Well duhh! I know the place u r talking about.


    In the interests of clarity.


    bock are you telling us that you never not EVER use a roux in a curry????
    well, i hardly know what to think of this side of you~
    this is just one huge lump in the gravy to
    contemplate. maybe you really didn’t mean it?


    Never. There’s no need.


    No point having a roux about it.


    No, that’d be thick.


    ok, we’d best not rock bock’s wok, aye?

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