Mother*ucking *ocksuckers!

Don’t you love that asterisk?

You know, the way people go all coy when they leave a comment on a site like this, and they tell you they don’t like that sh*t you write.


What are they afraid of?  Do they mean they didn’t like that shot I was writing?  Or they hated all that shut?  What the fuck is that about?

Americans are demons for it: That’s a load of BS !

A load of what?  Bipolar Stevedores?  Bloated Supermodels?

What?  What are they afraid of?  Magic words?  Are you trying to tell me something or are you not?  What the fuck are you trying to say?  Spit it out, for fucksake, and never mind this awful asterisked First-Baptist-church-of-the-never-sayable-bad-words American PC horseshit we have to put up with these days.

Fuck off!!

Tell you what.  In the interests of fitting in with things, I’m going to start using asterisks as well, but with one slight difference.

I’ll decide where the asterisk goes.

If I want to call someone a *unt, I will. And if they don’t like it, they can suck my *ock, the mother*ucking *astards.  They can *uck right off.


Of course, there are some people who hate being called runts, and would never suck a rock, but they are just motherducking wastards, and they can buck right off, the tricks.

19 thoughts on “Mother*ucking *ocksuckers!

  1. Bock , I am rolling on the floor laughing my ass off. And I am an American. You cracked me up, and you said everything so well. So I am wondering what set you off? Did you go out and run into an asterisk speaking American in a pub?

  2. We never needed asterisks when I was growing up. We just called each other CUN-trymen and CUN-trywomen. Then Richie Kavanagh came along and invented pun-gaeilge and everybody could go around shouting FUCK-il and nobody could do anything about it because you were just speaking our native language and everybody though it was great and… well you know what I mean.

  3. Have you seen this one? On some American sites they’ll only write G-d. Or maybe G*d.

    Can you believe it?? My eyes popped out of my head the first time I saw that … And I don’t mean when they’re swearing, or saying “godforsaken” or the like. It’s ALL the time.

  4. Presumably the asterisk is strategically placed so as to ensure that the audience knows what naughty word was meant… therefore how can leaving out the odd vowel make the sentiment behind the rant less offensive?

    People are weird. Fuck the cunts, is what I say. Not liter*lly, though.

  5. yes bock .
    people actually think their been less sarcastic when they leave out one letter. but theirs a better way of saying someone is an ass hole. I often say oh he is quite difficult. actualy meaning he or she is an ass hole. or arse hole as we say here. another nice one I like is when describing someone I have to have a drink with now and again, he or she is great company for two drinks, meaming of course that they are ass holes, I know they say arse holes here but I prefer the american one ass hole. may be its because i once had an ass.

  6. Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt…. there, I’ve been wanting to say that for a while, maybe it would feel better in capitals CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT, hhhmmmm, ooooh yes. fed up to the back teeth of all the bs, oh bullshit going on around the whole fucking world and country. Really pissed off and the drugs don’t work anymore. Bollox. There. Mist

  7. Nora, Jews only use the name of God, written or spoken, when they are praying. As far as I know the restriction really only applies in Hebrew but many, by habit or choice, extend that to written English, hence the use of
    ‘G-d’. Different strokes.

  8. Well, well … I’m still learning something new every day. Thanks Roisin!

    The rest of you: stop making me laugh, I’m drinking tea and I’ll choke …

  9. I thought the only reason people were using the asterisk was to avoid being banned by their ISP.

    However I am now assured that this is not the case, and that B****er B**k is immune.

    This is going to be great fun.

  10. Dear Bock, esteemed commenters,
    this most informative post encourages me to ask a question I did so far hesitate to ask because I feared it would not be considered as a cuntish, but as a fucking stupid question.

    On my expeditions in the blogosphere not seldom I’d read bloggers and commenters praise other contemporaries by calling them the name of the great German philosopher.
    This is per se immensely polite, I wonder though why in the English language ‘K’ would become ‘c’, and ‘a’ mutate into an ‘u’.
    Is it for phonetic reasons, to ensure f.e. that even people who happen to be not able to spell old Immanuel’s name, at least will be able to pronounce it properly?

  11. Could I also draw your attention to the splendid German physicist, August Kundt, who devised a means of measuring the speed of sound in gases and solids.

    It’s well I remember the sniggering in school when the teacher demonstrated the Kundt’s Tube, but that was only because we were embarrassed by any mention of standing waves.

  12. Ah, Kundt is, of course, easier to pronounce than Kant, Bock.

    Well, Nora, it’s not exactly the scientific term, but almost.
    The peace of the night. :)

  13. Bock, I love it when people get angry – they become so incredibly entertaining.

    Secretly I hope that more people will piss you off, so I can have a good laugh.

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