Penis Pictures In The School
Jan 21st, 2009 | By Bock | Category: stupidityThe phone rang.
I was busy and I didn’t need any crap but before I knew what I was doing, I’d answered it.
- Hello?
- Hello. Is that the parent of Bullet McBock?
Oh fuck. School shit.
- Yes. That’s me.
- Hi. This is Sheila Snanny. Deputy, under-vice-assistant-principal at Yourchildsschool.
- Hi Sheila. You can call me Bock.
- Hi Bock.
- Hi Sheila.
Dum-dee-dum-de-dum.
- So, Sheila, what can I do for you?
- Well, Mr Bock -
- Bock. Please.
- Well, Bock, to be truthful with you, we have a problem with Bullet.
- Problem?? What sort of problem? Is he injured?
- No, but it’s a grave matter.
- What?
- Well, I stopped him for eating in the corridor …
- Eating??? In the corridor??!!! You can’t be serious!!!
- And I asked him for his homework journal to put a note in it.
- Of course, Sheila. If I found out he was eating in the corridor, I’d kill him.
- But that was when I noticed the symbols all over the book.
- Symbols? Like Satanic? Nazi?
- No. Worse.
- Well, what?
- Penises.
- Excuse me?
- Drawings of penises in his journal.
- What do you want me to do about it? He’s sixteen.
- It’s unacceptable.
- What?
- The penises. There’s a phallus drawn across the school’s mission statement.
- And?
- Well, I think it tells us all we need to know about his attitude to the school.
- No. It doesn’t.
- What?
- It tells us that the other teenage dirtbags drew pictures of dicks on Bullet’s homework journal. They thought it was funny. It’s what teenagers do. It’s their job.
- We, as staff, shouldn’t have to look at things like that.
- True. I imagine looking at such things would be a first for you. I’ll talk to him.
- Please do, Mister Bock.
- I will, Sheila.
well??? did you???
What did you say? What did he say? I am curious to find out as I have 9 year old twins… (boy & girl)… want to know what I am up against in the school system a few years down the line …
You’re up against PC fools.
They seem to be overzealous about involving the parents these days. I have nephews and nieces of a similar age and the siblings tell me that they get called for the most petty reasons. Gods be with the days when you’d come home after getting the head boxed off you and get another clatter for having gotten your shirt ripped in the process.
Too funny.
I might have said “ Do you mean peni, Sheilaâ€.
Something similar recently which made me giggle furiously ( and that’s a difficult thing to do) . My son had been “unsettling†his classmates by looking up the meaning of words in a dictionary.
I grounded him for life.
Was the above mentioned offensive drawing done in pen or pencil?If pencil was used Ms. Snanny could have avoided the whole embarrasing situation and the price of a phone call by simply telling the bullet to use a rubber on it.
@MuleTaker Tee hee!
maybe she resented the fact that the said penis was twice the size of her husbands.
Now now. Knobs aren’t the most visually soothing things. I’m totally on the school’s side. Demand nice flowers and tea-sets and unicorns as graphics in future, please. Much more aesthetically pleasing.
Sweary_ Is that knob or nob?
Had Sheila studied the philosophers, she would have known that what she saw was just another artistic evidence for the universal validity of Schopenhauer’s definition:
Genitals: the sounding-board of brain.
Oh Bock, poor Bullet. Poor you, the father of a penis artist. Did Ms. Snanny realize that she is stifling this young man’s attempts at expressing his artistic side?? I fear that Ms. Snanny has just guaranteed Bullet 10 years of therapy. I suspect that the school will not pay for that.
Worse. His teenage cretin classmates are responsible for this phallic farrago. They are, you see, teenagers, and being an idiot is part of the job spec for a teenager.
I’m sorry, Penis? Me being a good catlick I cannae comprehend what it is you’re talking about. Is it the same as a male Mary perhaps?
The pen is mightier than the penis.Or was it the other way around?
these are the things that make me sooooo happy my children are adults! i don’t envy parents of school age children these days, sugar! xoxox
Ugh, I hated school principals like those. Posh pricks that had no understanding of what it was like to be a teenager at that point in time…
Tha’s all very well but this poor innocent woman was scandalised, do you hear, scandalised!
Eh .. by the way how did she recognise them as a peni? You should have told her they were rocket propelled grenades inspired by the war in Gaza.
Only the inept make issue of matters non-relevant. Anal retentive persons are gifted in all ways irrelevant to common sense. Teachers too suffer such types, apparently.
I was once called down to the school cos my young lad was caught putting a banana under the back wheel of the school bus. He was 10 at the time
@TheChrisD, Ms. Snanny mightn’t like being called a prick. We can only ponder if she has ever been in the presence of an unruly member in the tool-room. But I’m a bit surprised at her decision to call you Bock.
Are the current crop of teachers not aware that opportunities like this are what their predecessor PC Nazis fought and dyed t-shirts for? The right to make a mountain out of a molehill. Any ape can pick up a phone to whinge, whatever happened to getting a half-day out of something like this?
Surely any knit-your-own yogurt fount of knowledge worth her salt would react to such an affront as viewing the graphic dick by calling a “Meeting” preferably for Friday.
Goes like this. The staff go about their morning chores : Park the Micra, Coffee, Gossip, Irish Times (what else!) Crossword, Going to the Biology Room to check different variations of peni…..followed by two really boorrrrring classes before announcing delightedly to all that a “meeting” has suddenly been called to discuss the plethora of Richard Nixon lookalike imagery on School Mission Statements and that the pupils can fuck off for the rest of day.
12:15 Dismiss pupildom and inflict same on unsuspecting populace.
12:25 Grab another Coffee….this time decaf.
12:30 Meeting, compare vegan recipes.
12:45 Meeting over, Decision time : Bullets book will be confiscated, given to Sister Mary Elephant for the poor of Calcutta and with only two dodgy clues in the cryptic and one really bad bastard clue in the Simplex to complete…time for a lengthy liquid lunch and Sudoku for the worn out tutors.
The tools, the tools they have left us our easily led.
Drawings of penii…My god, what next..? swearing!
I once made a name for myself for supplying the boarders at my school with traced copies of bikini clad girls from magazines – drawn without the bikinis. I would have been around 13 at the time and i was hauled up in front of the head brother who made me bring the originals into school for leaving at his office.
Never got them back or heard another word about it.
I grew up and became a fully fledged pervert, viewing dubious web sites etc etc…
Nip it in the bud now, Bock, nip it now.
Bock, how the f*c did you come up with that story, I nearly had a piss attach reading it
I have never forgotten the illogical way schools were operated when I was attending. I know they didn’t improve one bit when my own children attended.
I remember the punishment for skipping class used to be a 3 day suspension, while I alway enjoyed the bonus vacation time, I was also glad that school administrators didn’t pass sentence on murderers.
Guilty of murder? Ok. Now go out and kill three more people to pay your debt to society.
It could have been worse. What if he was guilty of chewing gum or, horror, eating Cheese & Onion Taytos? Both were punishable by a hidin in the Model School in the 70s. Such memories.
Hoof, what’s the problem with the IT? Just cos Kevin Meyers is with the Indo doesn’t make it anymore believable.