Feb 122009
 

Brian Lenihan, our finance minister, was sent a PriceWaterhouse report on Anglo-Irish Bank, but he didn’t read it all.  He missed some bits, including the part that read Jesus Christ, Brian, these crooked fuckers just conned the whole country and they’re going to sink us all if you don’t do something about it fucking fast!!!

Brian, who is a Senior Counsel in his spare time, with a wig and a silken nightgown to prove it, didn’t notice that bit, and he said so again this morning on the radio. I’m not convinced if I had read the passage that its significance would have jumped out at me.

What bit didn’t he notice? Well you see, Anglo sent €7 billion to Irish Life. And then Irish Life transferred the money to one of its own subsidiaries, Irish Life Investment Managers which lodged the money in an Anglo account just like any ordinary customer who happens to have a spare €7 billion lying around.

You see, Irish Life Investment Managers is not a bank, and that was good for Anglo, because it looks much better if the money on deposit comes from customers instead of other banks, which is why why IL&P disguised the cash this way before sending it back. This was a way of fooling Anglo’s shareholders, the financial regulator (who wasn’t hard to fool at the best of times, it must be said), the international financial fraternity, on whom our very survival as a nation depends, and the government.

Now, remember this. The amount of money that IL&P sent to Anglo was twice the entire value of IL&P, and as far as I know, this was illegal.

Of course, you’d have to be asking why one bank, IL&P, would engage in a gigantic fraud to ensure the survival of another institution that isn’t really a bank at all, but a glorified bag-man for dodgy property developers. Would it be because Anglo is the conduit for money from the property developers to Fianna Fáil, the main party in government? And did somebody very influential exert pressure on IL&P to help prop up the zombie bank?

Why did IL&P feel comfortable lodging all this money back with a bank so shaky it could fall down in the next gust of wind? Well, the very day before this bed-and-breakfast lodgement, our government had guaranteed Anglo’s liabilities.

Now look. There’s no other word for all of this except fraud.

Fraud on a gigantic scale. Fraud on a country-destroying scale.

And this gigantic, treasonous fraud was detailed in the report that Brian had on his desk.

The Minister didn’t notice the bit that said Jesus Christ, Brian, these crooked fuckers just conned the whole country and they’re going to sink us all if you don’t do something about it fucking fast!!!, and what’s more, nobody took out a bright yellow highlighter pen and marked it and said, Look Minister. Look at what the fucking crooks did.

Wouldn’t you love to have Brian Lenihan, Senior Counsel, defending you against a murder charge? You’re convicted. The judge is pulling on his black cap. You’re going to the Chair, when a scruffy little private eye sidles up to Brian.

– Aah, Mr Lenihan, did you get a chance to read my report?

– No. I only skimmed it. Why?

– Well, did you spot the bit with the photographs of a completely different man, not your client but somebody else, stark naked, covered in blood, running down the alleyway waving an axe and screaming that he did it? Or the confession he signed in the victim’s blood?

– Funny you should mention that. I’m not convinced its significance jumped out at me.

One other point. Brian Lenihan didn’t need a PriceWaterhouse report to tell him that Anglo-Irish was as crooked as fuck and that all its dealings were dodgy. There was another well-informed grouping he could have asked, and who would have told him exactly what the situation was.

Who? The dogs in the street, of course, who had been barking it for years.

Brian Lenihan, Senior Counsel, eh? What a man.

I have one final piece of speculation, something that’s been rattling around in the back of my skull, seeking some form of living shape.

It’s this.

Since all the banks seem to have different dates on which they must show a snapshot of their accounts, is it possible that there may only be one lump of money? A sort of travelling rescue-fund that makes its way from one bank to the next, inflating their balances as it passes through?

Perhaps, apart from this touring fund, the banks have no money at all.

Is that possible? What do I know?

Ask Brian Goggin, head of BoI who sadly informed the nation on RTÉ News this evening that his wages are drastically reduced. He’ll be taking home less than €2 million this year. Isn’t it fucking awful?

No. Seriously – isn’t it?

_____________________

By the way, check out the Irish Life website for the joke of the century:

Irish Life & Permanent plc (trading as permanent tsb) is regulated by the Financial Regulator

__________________

Also on Bock:

Letter To Brian Goggin, Bank of Ireland CEO

Irish Life and Permanent — Fucking Bastard Criminal Scumbags
Irish Government Nationalises Anglo-Irish Bank
Rival Bank Helps Anglo-Irish Chairman To Hide Huge Personal Debts

  34 Responses to “Anglo-Irish Bank, Brian Lenihan and the 7-Billion-Euro Fraud”

Comments (34)
  1.  

    He (they) did not see it – because they did not want to see it, simple as that, they are going to bail them come hell or high water, business mates do not suffer, we will leave that for PAYE and pensioners and special needs teachers and god knows who’s next …..

  2.  

    FF are probably in on it.

  3.  

    and they’ll keep doing it until we stand up to them and demonstrate just how angry we are. they wouldn’t be long getting their act together if they came under real pressure.

  4.  

    How many more kicks will we take before we shout STOP?

  5.  

    I get the impression he didn’t need to see any report whatsoever simply because they have been conniving with the banker/developer elite in this shady practise for many decades. Maybe a raised eyebrow at the sum involved but otherwise I doubt if m’learned minister would be at all surprised by such hookery.

    Who’s to say that similar cooking of bank books and more dodgy transactions by the other crooked institutions hasn’t been going on during our alleged “boom”.

    Treasonous is right. Yet not a single day will be spent behind bars by so much as one of those cunts.

  6.  

    The government guaranteed all customer deposits.
    This money while it was in Anglo would have had to be used to offset the bad loans, so it would have gone, never to held in a greasy paw again.
    Hay Presto two moves it out of the bank and comes back as a customer deposit.
    4,000,000,000 euro belonging to the developers is now untouchable and guaranteed by us
    All done as soon as they bluffed the fools in the government.

  7.  

    Genuine question – Are Irish Life and Permanent the same as Permanent TSB?
    Confusion at work – some say no, one an insurance company and the other a bank, others say they are the same gang – anyone help?

  8.  

    They’re the same company.

  9.  

    What about the Dept. of Finance, surely one of their highly paid officials should have read the report and highlighted the paragraph that Lenehan the cunt missed. Those bastards haven’t made a single forecast in the last ten years that was anywhere near accurate. So what do we expect. What are we paying any of the fuckers for?

  10.  

    Hoof-Dead right.We’ll have a tribunal costing you and I millions,fraud, perjury and treason will be proven but not one fucker will do time.

  11.  

    Thanks, Bock!
    Jesus wept!

  12.  

    How true King’s Bard “What are we paying any of the fuckers for?”
    And doubt any levy makes much difference to those at that high wage level… just look at the handshake Neary got…. €630,000 golden handshake …christ….

  13.  

    Keep rattling the grey cells as that bit of speculation as frightening as it is, could well ring true… time to start digging up the bit of lawn i have and plant spuds….
    oh it all just stinks….

  14.  

    “is it possible that there may only be one lump of money?”

    God knows, there may.
    Given what’s been going on (not only here, but next door in the UK with “Sir” James Crosby, etc etc) I’m almost beyond surprise. Almost.

    I’ve a teeny, weeny, bit of faith left that somewhere among this bucket of shit there is an honest person — in fact someone who might spill some more beans if they have enough incentive. And then maybe I’ll be fully beyond surprise, and every little carefully-saved penny will come out and go under the mattress, and they can fuck off with their guarantees. The country will be bankrupt anyway and their guarantees won’t be worth the shit on Brian Lenihan’s shoes.

    RTE News just said that support for FF is down to a record low of 22%. How do they even have that??

  15.  

    hehe

    “Brian Lenihan is about to ‘pump’ 7 billion into BoI and AIB.”

    There it is again!

  16.  

    Here’s something to keep you up at night.

    What if there is NO money at all? I mean does it physically exist at all or are they playing pass the parcel with a big old pile of nothing?

    Can you see a meatspace transfer of cash,bullion,gems or what have you to the tune of 7B? I can’t.

  17.  

    Denis Casey, Irish Life’s chief executive most likely resign, Reuters reckon : http://www.iii.co.uk/news/?type=reutersnews&articleid=TRE51B663&feed=Bus&action=article

    Wonder will he head off in the sunset with some obscene golden handshake..

  18.  

    Of course he will, the cunt. Didn’t you hear BoI’s chief executive telling us he’ll get less then 2 million next year? Your heart would fucking break for them, the slithery toad fuckers.

  19.  

    Hangar Queen.

    The point is there was no money.

    It was all bookkeeping designed to inflate Anglo’s balance sheet and improve the deposit ratio.

    Anglo “gave” ILP €7Bn.

    ILP “gave” Irish Life Investment Managers €7Bn.

    Irish Life Investment Managers “gave” Anglo €7Bn.

    All done on the books. The money didn’t exist.

  20.  

    Even if it did, Abbott, they’d still pay fuck-all tax on it. Unlike the poor schmuck who is hit for DIRT Tax on the lousy couple of thousand left dwindling in his account that’s keeping him from being turfed out on the street by the self same wanker-bankers who are callously destroying this society.

    As for Brain Goggin, ffs I’m still surprised his bail out buddies in FF haven’t yet gotten round to organising a Church-gate collection for him. €2 million a year…..must be nearly destitute, he’ll be sending the wife out to Lidl for baked beans and candles if that’s all the scheming cunt is down to.

  21.  

    Not only was a crime committed. Fraudulent accounting.

    But there are several conspiritors to the crime.

    Has the Garda Commissioner been instructed to stop the Fraud Squad from making arrests?

  22.  

    Would the Garda Commissioner need to be instructed to stop the Fraud squad? Couldn’t he just stick his fingers in his ears and close his eyes and pretend like nothing illegal is happening? Just because there’s a recession on doesn’t been we have to break with tradition.

  23.  

    None of this is really new stuff BOCK. Throughout history the greedy on top have done similar. La Revoloucion for instance followed soon after the shortage of ‘cake’! and then of course the great spin-master himself; even fooled the top-notch of his day! I refer of course to Jack whose ‘product’ resulted in the realisation of the ‘Golden Goose’ who incidentally was never seen by anyone except the very same Jack and his ‘Mother’!!!
    Should I mention the King’s New Clothes!!!!!

  24.  

    how much interest would that amount of money accumalate for the time it was in the account? who got to keep that interest?

  25.  

    Probably enough to build a few decent schools, pay for a cervical cancer prevention scheme…..oh sorry. gerryo, we forget where we are momentarily…..

    More than likely the interest went on a massive all expenses – flights, booze, food, hookers and embroidered cardigans – junket to the Ryder Cup for the lads.

    What else could do we do with “stroke” money…..declare it?

  26.  

    “Meanwhile, it emerged yesterday that Anglo received a large deposit from IL&P at the end of last March as the now-nationalised group closed its interim accounting period.”

    “IL&P said yesterday that it deposited €750m for one night in Anglo on March 31, through its subsidiary Irish Life Assurance (ILA), having received €1bn cash from Anglo as collateral.”

    They did it twice. Serial fraud.

    “The share price tumble prompted a Financial Regulator investigation, following hard lobbying by Anglo, amid concern that the group was the victim of rumour-mongering.”

    Fitzpatrick wanted the Regulator to blame short sellers to take the focus off his corrupt practices.

    http://www.independent.ie/national-news/financial-crisis/new-loan-scandal-as-doubts-emerge-over-ebs-takeover-1639940.html

  27.  

    Bock
    You simply do not understand. People of this quality do not grow on tees . A round of golf does not a Lord of the Universes make. How can one possibly be expected to live on a pittance of a mere two million euro ? As for the notion for the laughable €300,000 PA. One would pay more than that on wine. Now you really do not get it ! Do you not understand F.F. rules with or without the tent .

    The whyniness of the lower order , while annoying, are of no importance the Leader
    Shall do it his way.

    Well perhaps some of the boys may have to take early retirement but they shall receive a nominal pension of €5,000,000P.A. and we shall of course put them in as consultants or directors of anything that may be left after this “little emergency“

    Opp’s I am a traitor talking bad of the economy .

    My humble opinion ? An election in the morning the same PRICKS are in .

  28.  

    Interesting and frightening to see what other countries are saying about us

    http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/economics/article5733723.ece

  29.  

    It amazes me that we put up with this shite. These assholes are lucky the Irish people do not have the disposition of the Columbians who would no doubt hang them from lamp posts. Screw Brian Clown and Brian Lendahand, I am not paying for the debts run up by a bunch of compulsive gamblers. Up the black economy! Jesus H Christ, if I pulled a stunt like this they would lock me up. How the fuck can these pricks get away with economic vandalism? Fuck em all. Paddle your own canoe and fuck them!

  30.  

    They are lucky the Irish have not the backbone that the French have.If they had the country would be on fire.And all those corrupt fucks would be trundling in the back of an old horse cart towards a very unpleasant date with Madame le Guilotine

  31.  

    What is wrong with us ? as a generation we seem happy to sit back and accept the shit that is being thrown at us, the Country is fucked, the banking system is as corrupt as hell, yet we do nothing, no marches etc, when the government threatened our parents , stating that their medical cards would be revoked, the senior citizens of this country said “no way” and got out and demonstrated, we could learn a lot from them. We need a bit of leadership, someone to say “enough is enough, we won’t let you sell this and future generations down the drain”

  32.  

    hey,

    I am a student doing some research on the case of anglo and in particular the fraud and fraudulent practices of Anglo. I found this blog really entertaining and informative but still have a few questions and i would really appreciate it if you could get back to me.

    Is there actually a case of fraud that anglo are answerable to?
    How did they perpetrate the fraud?? the methods?
    are the directors and in particular, fitzpatrick liable?

    thanks!

  33.  

    Philip regrettably the answers are for a court to decide. If the issues ever get to a court. It is alleged that the issues are “under investigation” We may have an answer by say 2030. If we are lucky and after a few more Millionaire legal eagles. But there again it may take longer.

  34.  

    Philip — In my opinion, if one bank lends another bank €7 billion for a day to hide the true facts from the shareholders and the auditor, that’s fraud.

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