Economic Treason – Simple Recipe

 Posted by on February 25, 2009  Add comments
Feb 252009
 

Feel free to add to this recipe.

_______________

Ingredients

1 ton of greed.

2 tons of cynicism.

10 tons of stupidity.

1 bucket of corruption.

1 political party.

1 financial regulator

2 prime ministers.

2 finance ministers

50 auditors (blind).

1000 estate agents (canned).

1 national broadcasting service.

1 self-obsessed mainstream media.

1 population of small country.

A barrel of optimism sauce

Hubris and snobbery to taste.

__________

Method.

Bribe prime minister.

Marinate politicians and bankers in greed, cynicism and corruption for ten years.

Soak broadcaster in hubris and snobbery.  Add liberal dash of self-importance and stupidity.

Repeat for mainstream media.

Fry population in optimism sauce.  Add stupidity.

Remove lending limits.

Soak population in money.

Boil financial regulator until reduced.

Borrow â€100 billion.  Pay interest only.

Build houses.

Take money from first-time buyers.  Pay interest only.  Keep principal.

Grease bankers’ palm liberally.

Grease politicians’ palms.

Inflate prices.

Repeat soakage of population.

Create hysteria through estate agents.

Inflate hysteria with property progammes on TV and articles in newspapers.

Buy more land.  Pay interest only to banks.  Pocket profit.

Build houses.

Take money from first-time buyers.  Pay interest only to banks.  Keep principal.

Grease bankers’ palm liberally.

Grease politicians’ palms.

Inflate prices.

Repeat soakage of population.

Increase hysteria.

Inflate hysteria with property progammes on TV and articles in newspapers.

Buy more land.  Pay interest only.  Pocket profit.

Repeat as necessary until mixture stiffens and becomes unworkable.

Replace prime minister

Pay interest only to banks.

Add second prime minister and finance minister.

Bail out banks.

Flee country with profits in suitcase.

Thank taxpayer.

Have good laugh on yacht.

  9 Responses to “Economic Treason – Simple Recipe”

Comments (9)
  1.  

    Well Feck It BOCK! Any idea where the yacht is?
    I’d like to join ’em ’cause I’m getting really fed up of watching and listening to the one channel here.
    And a fun trip abroad might just be what I need.

  2.  

    Any room in that pot for a well worn out Tiger carcass?

  3.  

    Add Berties horses

  4.  

    Well, one of the prime ministers said we were all so negative we should go and commit suicide. Isn’t it amazing how these people are so marinated in their own lies and deceipt that they can make such statements. We were “talking ourselves into a slow down”, I seem to remember. That same individual hadn’t even had a proper education. Wasn’t he in some position to talk down to the rest of us?!?!?!?!?

  5.  

    The recipe isn’t bad but you forgot to add that under no circumstances should anything be stirred.

  6.  

    What is your choice of wine with this dish?

    Charlatan? Pile of nuisance? Merrily-fat? Cabaret sod-off?

    You have to give me some credit for coming up with these Bullshit words in 5 seconds!

  7.  

    I believe Cowen’s Fave wine is

    Cabernet Sofuckinwha’?

  8.  

    This is a dish best eaten after a good flambeeing. Soak in expansive brandy in a smoke filled room and don’t be afraid to really let this fucker of a pudding burn.

  9.  

    Yeah, I think my last President baked that cake and made me eat it too.

Leave a Reply