I’m offering my free, world-famous, thirty-second, guaranteed-to-work, smoke-stopping advice session again, as I do every year, twice a year.
Do NOT pay somebody to help you stop smoking. It’s a rip-off. Keep your money.
I was the worst smoker in the world. I was a fucking pig. I was rotten.
I used to have three cigarettes in bed before I got up. Sometimes, I used to forget I had a cigarette in the ashtray and I’d light another one. Sometimes, while I was smoking a cigarette, I used to think, Jesus, I’d love a smoke. I used to wake in the middle of the night and have a cigarette.
I was a fucking disaster.
I don’t smoke at all, and furthermore, I haven’t felt the urge since a week after I stopped. How good is that?
You know all these ads promising you freedom from nicotine? Horseshit. They’re all looking for money, and they all hope you’ll fail so they can make more money out of you the next time. Fucking bastards.
I’m not looking for anything. I’m just telling you it’s possible, and not just possible but easy. I was an absolute bastard for smoking and these days I couldn’t give a flying fuck about tobacco. What’s more, I was feeling that way within a very short time of stopping, so it’s not as if I got that way after years of being off the smokes.
No. Within a few days of stopping, I’d forgotten the bastards, and it wasn’t very difficult, once I realised the secret. I’ve done a lot harder things than saying goodbye to the bastards that were killing me.
Fuck off, ya bastards, I said, and they did.
Oh, by the way, did I mention that this is the 1500th Bock post?
Hey, it’s just a number.