Jade Goody’s Slow And Public Death
Feb 16th, 2009 | By Bock | Category: MediaI haven’t been kind to Jade Goody in previous posts, but that was because Jade didn’t deserve kindness.
She was an idiot.
However, I rather admire the way Jade is using the hyenas of the media to make money for her children’s future, even as her death approaches. It’s a fair trade between the hyenas and their creature, all mediated by Max Clifford, publicist to the dying and the recently deceased.
‘Ere Max. What can Jade do for us, then, eh?
What can Jade do for ya? What can Jade do for ya? Oh dear, oh dear oh dear. I’m disappointed in you, my son. Pay us enough money, and she’ll die ‘orribly for ya, in public.
‘Ow about a shot in a wheelchair?
We’ll work it out lads. Couple ‘undred grand, and Jade will die a little once a week, in still photos, but if you pay us ten times as much, I think I can persuade ‘er to waste away slowly for you, in front of the cameras.
What about baldness then, eh? Bald ‘ead. Glowin’ eyes. Eh? Eh, Max? What about baldness?
That’ll be another million.
Sunken cheeks?
Half a mill.
‘Ere, Max. What about a deathbed, last-words kinda thing?
Come on lads! Give it a rest. We’re talkin’ serious dosh ‘ere, my son.
What sorta dosh, Max?
Well, put it like this. The world’s our lobster. We’re laughin’ €¦ Well, I am anyhow. I mean, no disrespect, like, but Jade’ll be fakkin brown bread, innit.
UPDATE 22nd March
Jade died last night.
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Previously on Bock:
Clifford reminds me of that old saying by Groucho: “Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.”
I Guess the word dignity has no meaning to either these two. Its sad really but wouldnt it be better to keep quiet and spend your last days with your kids and family rather than being paraded around like some kinda circus monkey.
Now that it seems her dying words could be scripted by the highest bidder, has Paddy Power opened a book on what those words will be? E.g.
“Washing machines live longer with Calgon” – 2/1
“I’m confused.com” – 10/1
“PC World sold me a piece of shit” – 1000/1
I was thinking recently in light of all the corruption , lies and deceit that is around these days that her ma might come out with some excuse that she was going to be alright and it had all been blown up by the media. How funny would that have been. I think i might have died laughing.
Sadly though it’s true , tragic.