I’m sitting here watching Wales really carrying the game to England, with both sides producing exciting, gritty rugby, but I fell asleep in the middle of the earlier France-Scotland match. That must have been because it was a boring piece of shit.
Of course, it might have been because I gave in to temptation this morning when I went to the market for a loaf of brown bread and a bag of fresh fish straight from the quayside in West Cork. If I could only have gone for a coffee and a read of the paper, I would have been fine, but instead when I wandered into the hostelry I bumped into all sorts of demented people who kept me entertained for the best part of an hour.
Entertained, but not informed, since I got no chance to read my paper, as is my habit on a Saturday morning, a fact you know well. I have often brought you pictures from those Saturday mornings. But for some reason, the place was exceptionally busy and I had no place to sit down in comfort, so I stood by the fire instead, sharing opinions and idiocies with an assortment of opinionated idiots like myself.
I left with my paper unopened. Not good.
I’m a creature of routine, and I need to read my paper on Saturday morning, do the Sudoku and the crossword, and share some desultory conversation before blundering off home. If that doesn’t happen, my entire week is screwed, and that was why my eye fell on the nice Turkish café. And that was why I took a sharp right, went in, ordered their very nice lamb doner, their dark Turkish coffee, and spread out my paper for a thorough, forensic examination. And that was why I ended up eating a delicious lamb doner meal which both nourished and delighted me, but which also created a gigantic digestive burden, as it always does.
It makes me sleepy.
Therefore, when Parkenstein called to go walking with the dogs, I was already dozing off. And after four miles of walking, I was wall-falling.
And that was why I fell asleep and missed half of the France-Scotland match, but I didn’t miss much really.
It was shite.
Wales have just beaten England, and tomorrow Ireland play Italy.
Better stay awake for that one.