Sorry, Moses?

 Posted by on February 1, 2009  Add comments
Feb 012009

I learned something today that I never knew: Moses had a speech impediment.

Did you know that?

Moses had a speech impediment and his brother Aaron was placed on this earth to speak for him.

What a strange thought.  Where does that leave Charlton Heston? Of all the biblical figures, I always thought Moses was the one you couldn’t laugh at. Moses was a serious mover and shaker, parting the Red Sea, striding down the mountain with two huge slabs of stone and all those commandments carved into them by laser, mighty beard flowing in the storm, furious Prophet-eyes glowing in the dark, bellowing out the Truth to his people.

– Ang ngnot nga mncngmangmins!!

– Sorry?  What’s that Moses?

– Ang ngnot nga mncngmangmins frngom ngGnodd!!

– What’s he saying?

– He watched Master and Commander last night.

– No.  He said he was attacked by Comanches.

– Ang ngnot nga ngfukken mncngmangmins frngom ngGnodd ye mgcrowngd ongf mgcunts!!

– He says he’s proud of Munster.

– Oh ngfornn ngfucksangke!!Ang ngive ngup.  Ngfukk ngoff ngan nget mngsomengone ngelse ngo ngfukken mnglaff mngat.  Mnnggbngastangrds!!!

– I don’t know what he’s saying.  Anyone for a pint?

(pic by Craic)

  10 Responses to “Sorry, Moses?”

Comments (10)

    That could explain a whole lot of stuff we’ve been taking as gospel!!


    Aaron and Moses must have a cousin who works nights in the BP garage up in Inverness.

    Same beard, same strange stary eyes, and the dialect was spot on. I didn’t notice any stone tablets, but he did have some rather nice sandals for only £3 when you spent over £40 on fuel.

    His action on the broom when he swept the rainwater off the forecourt was akin to any sea separation I have ever seen.


    Unstranger — It’s more old-school than that really.

    Mr bastard — I bet he supplied other kinds of tablet.


    Eureka! Runes? Craic, now after this discovery history has to be completely re-written.

    … ah, and for your ultimate question, Bock: Yes. Me. Cheers.


    I think history has been rewritten enough. After all it’s his-story


    Is Moses saying ..”From my cold dead hands…..” ?


    Speech impediment? Maybe he just had a shake in his chisel hand.


    Bock, you didn’t know that? Well, where have ya been? It was the beginning of the PR team.

    fyi, Moses also had anger management issues. There must be a moral to the story somewhere…


    Are you implying that Moses was a Mason? Surer the temple wasn’t even built.


    Moses Mason……from Sean Heuston Place?

    So that’s what that fucker looks like when he’s washed.

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