Support For Victims Of Sexual Abuse

 Posted by on February 17, 2009  Add comments
Feb 172009
 

This is a guest-posting by a professional with Rape Crisis Midwest, helping men and and women who have experienced sexual abuse.

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– If you tell, no one will believe you.

– If you tell, I’ll be put in prison and everyone will blame you.

– If you tell, I’ll put my fist through your face.

– If you tell, I’ll start on your sister.

– If you tell, I’ll kill your dog.

It’s so easy to keep a child quiet, and abusers are masters at silencing children.

For the past twenty years I have worked with Rape Crisis Midwest (formerly Limerick Rape Crisis Centre) and I never cease to be surprised by the cunning and ingenuity of abusers. Their ability to manipulate and silence their victims is truly staggering. Of course it is this very silence that can be so destructive for survivors in later years.

Here in Rape Crisis Midwest we offer free, professional, non-judgmental counselling to female and male adult survivors of all forms of sexual violence.

There is no charge for our service; we firmly believe that survivors of sexual abuse have paid enough already. Our counsellors go through a rigorous selection and training process and no one here will ever blame you for what happened to you. We are very clear that the responsibility for sexual abuse always, always lies with the abuser. It also means that you have to be over eighteen to access our service.

It is possible to heal and move on from sexual abuse without counselling, because we all have different strengths and different ways of coping, but some people do benefit tremendously from counselling. Child sexual abuse is one of the most devastating of human experiences and counselling can provide a safe, neutral place to talk about what happened and explore how the abuse still effects your life. The pain, terror, helplessness and humiliation involved result in severe distress, which can have an impact on every aspect of your life. Counselling can help you find your own strengths, resources and potential, so that you can decide the way forward that suits you best.

It is important to say that getting help and support does not mean you must report to the Gardai. In fact, only nine percent of survivors of all forms of sexual violence ever go on to report to the Gardai. However, if you have been abused then you absolutely have the right to report that crime if you wish. That might seem like an immensely obvious thing to say but you would be astounded at the numbers of survivors who do not view what was done to them as a crime and certainly do not view their abuser as a criminal.

If someone does choose to report, we will support that person every step of the way, from contacting the Gardai right through to the court case. If that person chooses not to report we will also support them every step of the way in their healing journey. It is not our role to pressurize anyone into reporting, but rather to give out all the information about the legal process so they can make an informed decision.

I have been working with adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse for some time now. Almost without exception, they speak of the immense difficulty in breaking the silence that surrounds their sexual abuse. Statistically we know that at least fifty percent of survivors never, ever tell anyone (SAVI report 2002). The men and women I see are the ones who have found the strength and courage from somewhere to seek out help and support.

I often find that high-profile court cases can trigger memories and feelings for survivors. As can television programmes, the birth of a child, the death of the abuser or suddenly seeing the abuser again after many years.

If you are reading this and have survived sexual abuse, or you know someone who has, then I would truly encourage you to reach out.

The one point I would really like to get across is this: don’t be on your own with your past. Shame and secrecy go hand in hand with child sexual abuse, because abusers use that shame and secrecy to keep you silent and isolated. Don’t let them do that to you. You have the right to speak out, you have the right to look for help and you definitely have the right to a rich fulfilling life.

There are various organisations that can provide professional and specialized help. Within the HSE there is an Adult Counselling Service for survivors, and Rape Crisis Centres throughout the country provide counselling and support to survivors of all forms of sexual violence.

We have the right to freedom from sexual violence and that freedom starts with breaking the silence.

________________

Dublin Rape Crisis Centre

Telephone: 01 661 4911

Freefone: 1800 778888

70 Lower Leeson Street

Dublin 2

email: rcc@indigo.ie

Cork Rape Crisis Centre

Sexual Violence Centre Cork
5 Camden Place
Cork

Telephone: 021 450 5577
Freefone: 1800 496 496
Fax: 021 450 4690
Email: info@sexualviolence.ie

Rape Crisis Midwest

Rocheville House
Punch’s Cross, Limerick

Telephone: 061 311 511

Freefone: 1 800 311 511

email: limerickrcc@oceanfree.net

Galway Rape Crisis Centre

7, Claddagh Quay
The Claddagh
Galway

Telephone: 091-583149
Freefone: 1800 355 355 (freephone)

Email : administrator@galwayrcc.org

Wexford Rape Crisis Centre

Clifford Street, Wexford

telephone: 053-22722

Freefone: 1800-33-00-33

e-mail : wexrapecrisis@eircom.net

Mayo Rape Crisis Centre

telephone 094 902 56 57

Help Line 1800 234 900

Email mayorcc@eircom.net

Other RCC contact numbers

Athone RCC 1800 306600
South Leinster RCC 1800 727737
Donegal RCC 1800 448844
Kerry RCC 1800 63333
Kilkenny RCC 1800 478478
Dundalk RCC 1800 212122
Sligo RCC 1800 750780
Tipperary RCC 1800 340340
Tullamore RCC 1800 323232
Waterford RCC 1800 296296

________________

Previously on Bock:

Child-Rapist’s Life Sentence Reduced

  12 Responses to “Support For Victims Of Sexual Abuse”

Comments (12)
  1.  

    These creeps pick the most vunerable people, they know they can manipulate, I do not believe the can be rehabilitated, chemical castration is the answer,but for anyone who has suffered at the hands of people like that talk to some one, dont let it fester, ( chemical castration is the mildest punishment)

  2.  

    The important point is that people can get help.

    This post was written by someone who works with people who have been sexually abused, and I’d like to keep the emphasis on that.

    We can talk another time about what to do with the abusers.

  3.  

    Fair point Bock apologies

  4.  

    Your contribution is welcome. I’m just wearing my moderator’s hat. It’s a silly one.

  5.  

    Well done for posting this. Serious shit.

  6.  

    Dear Sir Madam
    I would like to know if you could add our web page to your links. Thank You Kenneth Doyle

  7.  

    Bock, you’re a very fair person. Keep up the good work.

  8.  

    In searching for help for my parents in Limerick who were both victimised by 2 priests, I came across this organisation: “Faoiseamh.”
    Faoiseamh is an organisation which provides telephone counselling and a counselling and psychotherapy referral service for people who have been sexually, physically, or emotionally abused by priests or religious.

    I am also pursuing help for my own therapy… I was also victimised by the same two priests. Don’t know if they will come through but so far sound genuine. Will post again if anything good happens.

  9.  

    CATHOLICABUSESURVIVORSNI.COM—–THE BIGGEST CHILD SEX ABUSE SCANDAL COVER UP IN THE WESTERN WORLD THAT DIDNT STOP AT THE BORDER WITH THE NORTH IS WELL UNDERWAY IN THE NORTH BY PETER ROBINSON AND THE RCC IN STORMONT

  10.  

    Turn off your caps lock.

  11.  

    Counselling and Psychotherapy Services Limerick and Midwest | Providing Professional Confidential Counselling Services, Psychological Advice and Guidance to Clients in the Limerick Midwest Region

  12.  

    DO not use this site to advertise your counselling business. Link removed.

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