Irish Government Ministers
Mar 4th, 2009 | By Bock | Category: PoliticsHere’s our government.
| Name and Title | Commentary | |
| Brian Cowen
Taoiseach (Prime minister) |
 |
Gobshite
Qualifications: lawyer Technological expertise: none |
| Mary Coughlan
Tánaiste (Deputy prime minister) |
 |
Self-important, overbearing fool
Qualifications: Sociology degree Business experience: none |
| Brian Yehudi Lenihan
Minister for Finance |
 |
Son of former minister.
Qualifications: lawyer. Technological expertise: none No financial expertise. Ideal man to handle financial crisis. |
| Mary Harney
Health Minister |
 |
Failed ideologue
Qualifications: Arts degree Business experience: none |
| Noel Dempsey
Transport minister |
 |
Thug.
Opus Dei stooge. Qualifications: Arts degree Former teacher. Business experience: none |
| Dermot Ahern
Justice minister |
 |
Bombast and bully.
Qualifications: |
| Micheál Martin
Foreign minister |
 |
Cynic. Smart enough to know better.
Qualifications: Arts degrees. Business experience: none |
| Martin Cullen
Arts, Sport and Tourism minister |
 |
Complete wanker.
Qualifications: none Business experience:Wine-salesman. |
| Éamonn Ó Cuiv
Community, Rural and Gaeltacht Affairs |
 |
Prick. Detested by constituents.
Qualifications: BSc. |
| Mary Hanafin
Social and Family Affairs minister |
 |
Religious maniac.
Demented. Qualifications: Arts degree Business experience: none |
| Willie O Dea
Defence minister |
 |
Ludicrous little man. Waffler.
Qualifications: barrister, accountant |
| Éamonn Ryan
Comunications, Energy and Natural Resources minister |
 |
Pampered, condescending, smug fool
Qualifications: none Business experience: Minimal. Former travel agent |
| Brendan Smith
Agriculture, Fisheries and Food |
 |
Out-of-depth fool.
Qualifications: economics degree Former political adviser. Business experience: none |
| Batt O Keeffe
Education and Science minister |
 |
Waffling gobshite
Qualifications: Arts degree Former lecturer. Business experience: none |
These are the senior ministers in our government.
Senior. I emphasise the word in case you overlooked it.
This bunch of wearies are the people making the decisions about the future of our nation. About your future and mine. About the future of your children.
These people, who might not be qualified to join you in a game of cards, are the ones making the decisions that will ultimately decide whether or not you survive the next twelve months.
Look at them. How long would you last in a bar-room conversation before you tore them to shreds for the empty-headed fools they are?
Wafflers every one. Bombastic, bullying wafflers without one single, shared communal intellect between the entire sad lot of them.
These are the people deciding your future.
There seems to be a pattern emerging among these people’s qualifications (those who have any qualifications, that is). I don’t notice a whole heap of study leading to an actual skill in anything. Do you? Many, many Arts degrees in there at a time of crisis. Many teachers and lawyers in there as well. Far too many for my comfort.
I also don’t notice a whole heap of practical experience at anything apart from being a sleazebag politician.
Not much specific knowledge of the kind we need right now.
_____________________
Elsewhere:
Cowen Is My Shepherd…
Junior ministers to follow.
The Defence Minister is funny looking. Didn’t anyone tell him that the Hitler look had gone out of fashion?
Well, you see, the problem there is that he’s a prick.
Ryan wouldn’t look out of place in that Fianna Fail lineup behind David Davin-Power.
Beautifully put, Mr Bock.
Understated yet precise.
Well done to all for voting them in… again and again and again…
Qualifications BOCK?
Well for your information I can buy a BA from any Irish university.
OUR universities are institutions better described as centers of excellent prostitution.
Obviously the line-up presented here is one of a selection of those too mean to pay the full asking price, as most of them have the by now redundant BA in Arts; bullshit.
What has happened in Irish education is pitiful to say the least when you factor in that any one of the so-called ‘qualified’ posted here is thereby presumed to possess the ability to THINK!
Me thinks NOT.
Paid from the neck down, obviously, and in each case it applies here.
God help us all.
But Bock, this is politics. Surely what matters is not WHAT you know . . .
Actually I am utterly amazed at the fact that Mary Coughlan is Tanaiste of this country. Every time I hear her waffle I want to give her an almighty smack in the mouth. She makes my blood boil beyond boiling point.
Why is anyone surprised? We get the Government we deserve. The electorate of this country (most, not all) hid it’s head in the sand an believed the bullshit it was fed from FF and its lackeys. “I’m doing ok. I’ve got my 08 car, 4 holidays a year , my place in Spain and fuck everyone else” Now the shit is hitting the fan and the electorate whinges. Time for the fan to hit the shit.
The majority of people didn’t vote for FF. I think it was 40 odd%. The problem is we don’t get to choose who they hook up with in order to make a government. Even if there was an election there are still loads of arses who’ll vote for FF politicians – ‘Ah Willie O Dea, he’s great, he fixed my footpath and got a job for the young one’ who think if they don’t vote for them they wont get their favours. and they might get in again.
Just by the by – most of them fall into two camps. In camp number 1 (Cowen, Lenihan, Coughlan, etc) politics is the family business, the qualification is just something to fall back on. Most of the rest are teachers. Lots of teachers in the Dáil as their unions have a special arrangement – they get to hold on to their teaching jobs while they are a TD. I have to say I find Ryan to be one of the best of them. The main limitation he has stems from the fact that he has limited influence as a Green, i.e. due to all the muppets that Elle mentions voting for FF.
Any evidence for Noel’s involvement with Opus, I thought Ms Hanafin was more suspect in that regard?
Ó Cuiv’s main qualification is grandson of DeValera.
Mickey Mairtin has an MA.
How many are sons / daughters / brothers / relations of former FF idiots?
And do none of them have that other great qualification, a GAA degree?
Éamonn Ó Cuiv has a BSc from UCD.
Micheál Martin is the cleverest and it shows in his face/eyes. I’m a great believer in reading faces.
The electorate of Ireland don’t consider the big picture when voting. In fact the majority of us are permanently undecided until very close to election day. I reckon approx. 10% of the people I know really consider their options before casting their vote. The people of Ireland were given the warning signals but choose to ignore them. A simple example,David McWilliams TV show on RTE had a huge audience, so why didn’t people listen? We must accept some responsibility for this and learn from it. BTW,I am not removing blame from the yobbos in charge. I’ve lost my job, my partner is being hit with a pension levy and it isn’t over yet. Am I bitter? YES, I didn’t vote FF OR Greens,EVER. But that’s democracy for you.
The two Brians and the Mary all got elected to the Dail when they were barely out of nappies because their daddies moved on … the nepotism resulting from the personality based political system that we have here.
The other shower are no different, nor would they have done things much differently over the past ten years (only recently the likes of Ruari Quinn were crowing about how they were responsible for the Celtic Tiger – you don’t hear him saying that now)
Nepotism and vested interests (look at the HSE) – that’s how it works here – and sure have a few pints if it all gets too much or we may have to think about it a bit longer.
The only answer is to change the system so that local government gets more real power while becoming more transparent. That way we can vote for local people to solve local issues, while national representatives can get on with making decsions in the national interest – isn’t it patently obvious that our repesentatives are congenitally incapable of making long-term decisions because the system requires them to answer to the wrong type of questions from voters (“what are you going to do about the footpath?” as opposed to “what direction to you propose taking the country?”
Far be it from me to defend the current crowd but the last time I checked I recall reforming local governement and the planning laws to be the central plank of Gormley’s brief as long as he’s responsible for Local Government. Whatever you think about it, it’s long-term and about as selfless as an irish politician can be
Bock, enough negativity already. We all know about bone-headed FF’ers (trust me, I’ve had my fill of them) but it’s gone beyond satire now …
“Dermot Ahern, Bombast and bully” Thought that was funny:)
No.8, you hit the nail right on the head.
That’s my problem. Do we want democracy or don’t we? Or do we need our democracy “modified” in some way?
Otherwise, the people of Ireland got what they voted for.
We need to dump civil war politics and have people voting with their heads, and not according to family tradition. AND, we need to find a way to put an end to political dynasties — where a spouse or child almost-automatically takes over a seat when someone dies. It’s bloody ludicrous.
Oops, I was replying to Anthony.
‘Democracy as a system is terrible, until you cosider the alternatives”
We get the system we deserve, and by the way, even our shower can’t hold a candle to the Italians – what they get up to in terms of nepotism, perks, back-handers and plain corruption beggars belief ….
“Democracy as a system is terrible, until you cosider the alternativesâ€
That’s what I’ve always believed. So the question is, can we influence who we get as candidates? Because it seems to me that we have pretty useless choices most of the time.
Nora
You get active – if it’s isn’t a political party then a movement for changes that you believe in but which are also realistically attainable
“All it require for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing”
Been very active since 1968-9, Tony.
Just not in a political party.
I was wondering if we should have some sort of minimum requirements/qualifications of people who stand for election. But that wouldn’t be democratic, now, would it.
Apologies, Nora, I didn’t mean to be presumptive with that comment …
On qualifications for candidacy, there are ways to take the ‘personal out of politics’ such as a (partial) list system of electing memebers for national parliament and (in our case) appointing Seanad members to government posts (but then we’d have to reform the Seanad, right?). We could go down the US route of having business and other leaders as government members, but in our case it probably would have led to Seanie Fitzpatrick becoming Minister for Finance
Sigh …
By the way, anyone noticed the backdrop to the pic of Mary Coughlan?
A bit trite, I know, but I’ve always believed that the only solution to the problems of democracy is more democracy. In other words, greater accountability, greater transparency, more direct democracy, and increased economic democracy.
But we won’t get it handed to us on a plate.
“We could go down the US route of having business and other leaders as government members …”
Motherofgod. Halliburton. And shoe-salesmen as Ambassadors.
Hah! the Galway Races? Never been there myself.
Right first time, Nora. have never been theer myself – can’t think of anything I’d like less
On business ‘leaders’, I had the misfortune to be in the same room as Seanie once when he was at the height of his pomp. That experience reminded me of the person who asked the question “why do people take an instant dislike to me?” and received the answer “it saves time”
Still, hubris vsists us all, even the politicians …
Lets just imagine we don’t elect the next lot, I wonder then, should we just recruit a government from a pool of the recently unemployed ? Of course terms and conditions would have to be of a high enough level to attract the right sort of candidate – the ‘help wanted’ add could run something like this:
Situations vacant:
Urgently required, for the re-flotation of small Atlantic island which is currently adrift and sinking.
Candidates must be amoral, devoid of ideology, of limited intelligence. No qualifications required, full on the job training provided by a large back room staff of civil servants. An ability to back pedal and swim through thick viscous liquids an added advantage along with an unjustified sense of self belief.
Applications on the back of a brown envelope to Dail Eireann, Leinster House Dublin 2.
Closing date for applications:
Any time before the arrival of the IMF.
Salary scale : the sky’s the limit
…. Or maybe that’s just too similar to our current system?
Billy Connolly has a routine to the effect that anyone who wants to be a politician should be immediately disqualified from standing for election …
malcom muggeride loathed politicians and only ever voted once and then it was for a politician who had earlier been released from a mental hospital, after spending some time their. when asked why he voted for a man who had only recently been released from a mental hospital muggeridge replied, well he is the only politician who has a certificate to prove he is of sound mind
Fantastic post! A primer on Irish political “luminaries” that is especially helpful for non-residents of the Emerald Isle.
Disgraceful!
O’Dea is the most qualified?
Holy Jesus!
Too many BAs (lowest points course in University).
BA = the new Junior Cert
MA = the new Leaving Cert
I am told for example that one third of teachers now have a Masters degree.
My 21 year old niece did a BA 2 years ago and went on to do an MA. She tells me that the majority in her year did a Masters.
I met Dillie O’Wea on quite a few occasions and he’s a good man, works hard for his community – when he’s not claiming people in bars, only slagging Willie…. grow up and give it a break folks, or put yourselves forward for election, see how far you’d get – most politicans are motivated by a desire to serve the common good – you can’t spent your entire lives at the back of the bus folks, sneering and throwing bottles.
Ireland is absolutely bollixed. Even if the current government was populated by experts in business & finance, they would still not be able to do anything.
Cheer us up why don’t you William….
William’s right.
I’ve seen Nobel-prize-winning economists and other “world renowned” economists in dispute over how to “fix” this global crisis. And it’s perfectly clear that (e.g.) Gordon Brown and Obama are chancing their arms and keeping their fingers crossed.
Economists can’t agree because the situation is unprecedented. One professor in the USA said that when this is over, all economic textbooks will have to be rewritten.
So, our crowd may be corrupt, or have ripped us off, but they can’t be expected to fix all our latest problems — it’s a global affair and nobody knows exactly how to do it.
“most politicans are motivated by a desire to serve the common good”–Abdul
I seriously doubt that, but each to his own.
BA BA BABABABABBA. What do you call a black sheep when all of them are? I can see Lenihan’s going to have his hands full with this lot. Sure the brother will help him.
Tell me though, Bock, how many are ‘former’ teachers, and how many are ‘resting’ teachers, keeping some young ones out of legitimate employee status?
Willie O Dea a good man for his community????? Is that why he didn’t vote for retaining AerLingus in Shannon. Oh he’s wonderful alright. As for him looking like Hitler, I think he’s more like Groucho Marx in looks and in actions. Also why are so many td’s teachers I wonder. The problem with a lot of teachers is that they think they’re always right, and lawyers, well, I wont even comment on most of them.
All Hail Bock….. sweet bit of work Bock
Yes.
And can I just ask..What the fuck happened to investigative journalism?
Where is Ray Burke now?What exactley does Bertie bring to the table for over 200k a year?
Why does cooper-flynn(no capitals necessary)still have her nose in the trough at my expense?
And why the fuck is seanie fitz still smiling at me from the papers?
Popeye would be livid..
“I’ve had all that I can stands,and I can’t stands no more.”
Hi
I now understand why in the face of the biggest recession in 80 years our Government does the complete opposite to the rest of this world by: Increasing VAT, Increasing PAYE, Cut Spending on Capital projects – which results in lack of confidence , reduced spending , loss of jobs, – Which results in lack of confidence , reduced spending , loss of jobs – We need to get rid of these fools.
The Competence of this Government is the most serious issue for us & Europe, the Euro etc
Fianna Fail OUT, FF OUT,FF OUT FOREVER
Regards
Seamus
Ex Fianna Fail Supporter
Why do we need so many of the following;
166 Td’s.66 senators.833 county councillors.744 town councillors.154 state agencies.35 Enterprise boards.8 Fishery Boards.17 Harbour boards for a population the same as Manchester.Have the same ratio as the UK 1 MP for 90000 and 50 would do here,now that would be a place to start making serious savings.Get rid of the surplus.
Can we have your assessment of An Ceann Comhairle, Mr Donohue’s, generosity with the taxpayers’ money?
One word: disgraceful.
The facts are here if you want to see exactly what he’s been up to.
A friend of mine, often asks me, did you see so and so, on ‘Front Line’ the other night? Then, he goes on to talk about “barrister speak” which is a synonym for saying absolutely nothing, while you talk for five minutes with great erudition and poise in exquisitely modulated tones. In other words, you lie through your teeth while saying nothing! Then there is, “politician speak”, “church speak”, “Quango speak”, “NAMA speak”, “tribunal speak” and “minister speak”. As you can see they are not mutually exclusive. Sadly all this “speak” or “lies” does not come cheap and as they lie the national debt simply soars towards bankruptcy.
If you need an antidote to the above, just listen to Michael O’Leary the bluntest and most truthful man the country has thrown up so far! He would also be the perfect antidote to national deb, stupendous salaries, ponzi public pension schemes, lazy public servants, sick days and empty hotels bed rooms around the country. All would be eliminated in a very short time, but we seem to prefer bankruptcy.
O’Leary, the most hated and most loved man in Ireland a symptom of our bi-polar attitude to life on the little island. the fact that he scares the bejaysus out of half the country gets him my number one!
Nama is a cancerous growth which has been planted at the heart of the body politic and if it is not excised by the rational, peace loving democracy loving people of this country it will indeed defeat is the people of Ireland.
As for our cabinet they worry more about their clothes, their coiffeted hair do’s and foolish appearance than they do about whether half the country is unemployed or starving.
By the way Bock You left out the non executive directors of the cabinet, comrade Jack and comrade Begg wjo think their Stalingrad truly demented carry on! Also, every week, the FF whip Pat Carey has a personal meeting with Jacky Healy Rae to see what he wants for Kerry in the week ahead! He is a true cute hoor moron who does not give a shit what happens outside his little parish, his sons little company tars the roads while he feathers his own nest. He is a great man for Kerrriiieee.
So obviously you can see where I am coming from and that I believe that the country is well and truly fucked with this lot!
O’Dea lectured me at the NIHE in law in 1981 he gave a handful of lectures and went on to put it in his CV for the rest of his life. As a person, he is now a caricature of Groucho Marx, he is the Goebbels of FF marched out to routinely defend the indefensible. God only knows what his current ambitions are but the person I observed years ago and admired is just a mess of shadows, he should learn that life is more important than playing games. He should grow up! Willie if you read this please resign.
A few typo’s was in a hurry but you get the gist!
cheers, that’s my study done for my CSPE junior cert mock exam tomorrow. the rest is bluffable.