Lose Weight The Easy Way
Mar 17th, 2009 | By Bock | Category: My lifeWell, all right. There is no easy way to lose weight. I just made that up.
I’m not sure if I mentioned to you that I was sick of being a fat bastard after quitting the smokes six years ago. Not five! Not five, as I realised only recently. Six years. Six. Without smokes.
Free. You know you’re free of smoking when you can’t remember how long you’ve been off them.
Six years, not five.
However, there was a downside, including a new, voracious and gigantic appetite for …
… anything.
Mmmmmm. Anything!
And so I piled on what? Maybe two stone of big horrible dirty fat stuff clinging to me like a horrible fat-fucker face-hugger. Not good.
I fucking hate it, but I put up with it for a long time, until maybe about two or three weeks ago, when I finally got tired of looking at mirrors and saying Fuck the fuck off! That isn’t me!! Some fat bastard has invaded my home and I want to kill him right now. Call the fat-police, have him arrested and executed right now. On the spot. Fat bastard vampire fucker. Fuck off!
It was like walking around in a fat suit. Like David Byrne in Stop Making Sense. Not good at all. Simply not good.
Bad.
And so I started running a small bit, tentatively, with care and a little fear, and a smidgin of worry that my squash-hammered knees might collapse, but they didn’t.
And I stuck to my plan of eating only fish and chicken and fruit, with no big juicy delicious steaks or bags of chips or anything. Just straight grub, three times a day, and not too much of it either.
And guess what happened?
That’s right. As if by magic, my new fat-guy clothes that I’ve had to buy for the last five six years, are starting to become a bit looser on me, and I find I can run a little bit further each day.
How bad? And still no cigarettes.
____________________
Previously on Bock:
I have beat the smokes and I know I will never smoke again….weight is becoming an issue now but will be dealt with in the same way I beat the smokes…….with tablets bwahahahaha
Well, I beat the smokes by not smoking, and I’m doing something similar to the food, though not to the same extent.
Obviously.
I stopped smoking exactly 10 years ago… never looked back! I use to see myself smoking a cigarette in my dream some years ago and that has also magically disappeared…. now I can’t stand it….
I am glad you have taken up jogging Bock… It will make you feel ten years younger…. but be careful, doing sports regularly is also quite addictive…. ! Just ask me…
Off the fags five years now! Took a couple of tries before that tho’.
Always was a skinny fucker before that, so was quite thrilled when the weight started to come on. Iniatially. Then one got fat. Major fat!
Now the dreaded gym is just part of everyday life. Got back to 12 1/2 stone. And feel fit. And don’t feel like a 48yr old, which I am.
So keep up the running. ‘Tis good in the end.
Also, I find that eating six times a day, instead of the traditional three times,(eating smaller amounts), is better for the body and head.
Good on you Bock – been there too!
Could go to India and get yourself a good big dose of the white hot squitters? Actually spicy food is something that would help your quest, just don’t quench it with copious beers.
I’ve taken another tack Bock, I’m going to give vegetarianism a lash for a week. I’ve stocked up with 18 boxes of cereal at home, I’ll let you know how it goes.
A lifestyle change was forced on me earlier this year. Type II diabetes caught up with my lifestyle and genetic make up. I’ve found that by eating 6 times a day (small amounts) of food with a low glycemic index (all the foods that don’t taste good have a low GI) and sob sob (cutting down on alcohol) combined with regular excercise has resulted in some good weight loss (2.5 stone so far this year). Also those usually monitored things like blood sugar and cholestrol are fine also.
I’ve been ‘off’ the smokes for the last 2 months now with the intention of never going back on them. I say that, but when I am hammered I still smoke occasionally, this is where 10 boxes would come in handy, but no I have to buy 20. I am eating a lot more as well, I’m even having breakfast now, as before whatever pang of hunger I’d have in the morning would be replaced with a smoke and a coffee. Dirty fuckin yokes.
You mean… you exercise more and eat less?
That’s quite revolutionary. I’m scared. I think I’ll stick to crying over a bar of chocolate and demanding compliments from terrified passers-by.
Dude, I’m taking your post and framing it for motivation so I can lose my own fat-suit. I’m actually serious.
Go easy on the jogging BOCK, you may do yourself harm if you take up exercising after years of not doing any.
Talk with an aerobics instructor for advice; the advice they can give might amaze you and may make your efforts at getting fitter more effortless!
Nevin — I don’t know if you’d call staggering along a river-bank sport, but I’ll be careful anyway.
Mapstew — So you do the gym, do you? Every day?
Conortje – Which was it, stopping smokes or losing the weight? Last time we met, you looked like you hadn’t eaten in a year.
GrowUp — Actually, despite popular misconception, beer is the last thing to quench a hot meal. Water is the only job for that.
Hoge — I thought you needed all the protein you could lay your hands on?
Pheasantfukker — So the advice is stick to horrible food?
Sakimoto — So you’re not off the smokes then? You just don’t smoke as many but you’re still a smoker. Stop smoking and you’ll be a non-smoker.
Sweary — I know. This idea is going to make me rich.
Mr Pagano — You go for it, Bro. Can’t go wrong.
Unstranger — I’m never too hard on myself. That comes from years of pampering.
Lads, and I presume the majority of y’all are male – what’s happening here.
Is it the estrogen in the water? How did we from from a position where we once entertained ideas of conquering the world, lifting the roof of the net with a 35 yard volley – from an audacious angle – in the second minute of injury time in a World Cup final – versus Engerland, going over the line at Twickenham festooned with Saxons or dropping Oscar de la Hoya in the 12th to claim the WBA crown at Madison Square Garden, to asking ourselves “does my bum look big in this”?
Lads……..and I’m not asking this in jest. Do you find yourself tearing up when the other half brow beats you into watching romantic drivel? Do you find yourself – when alone in the car – turning up the volume to West life? Do you feel that…you …..could…do….with…..a……hug.
None of the above.
I just don’t want heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol, apnea, deep vein thrombosis, fatty liver disease, arthritis, stroke or cancer.
then give up the drink !
Jesus that’s some list of diseases Bock.
I stopped smoking 11 years ago and again 8 years ago and then 5 years ago I gave up giving them up. Of course I haven’t the guts of a louse..and I’ll probably die in agony but I’ll live in peace..
O Wrinkly One — Great idea. Why didn’t I think of that?
King’s Bard — Those diseases are caused by being a little overweight, not by smoking.
By the way, don’t look on it as giving up cigarettes. You gave nothing up. You just stopped doing something horrible to yourself.
Yes Bock but even as a smoker I’m still a fat fucker. I shudder to think……
In that case, I wouldn’t worry about the long list of diseases. The good news is, it’ll probably be a heart attack, stroke or lung cancer. I’d say your liver will be fine.
Ugh. I haven’t beat the smokes. Sigh.
Good luck with the diet.
Exercise Bock.. that and moderation. The weight will fall off of you before you know it.
You’ll be as miserable as sin, but thin with it.
I’m wary entering such a male preserve, but i’ll risk it, will prepare myself for the flak or borrow a relic from a passerby.
I was used to being very thin,could eat enormous amounts of food, never put on a pound but i was extremly active.
My life changed and being less active, quitting the smokes, the weight crept on, did’nt really notice at first, clothes getting tight etc.
Last year i went for this barrage of health checks and was shocked by my cholestrol level 7.3, because my diet was really good, or so i thought, it turned out i had something called Cholestrol Familale, which is genetically inherited high cholestrol, it brought me back to real health awareness, i had put on about 22 lbs but was’nt really fat, but fat for me, I changed my diet drastically and in 2 weeks got it down to 5.2, because i did’nt want to go on medication for the rest of my life.
I now go to the gym about 3/4 days a week, short routines, but maintaining muscle is vital to an efficient metabolism, I try to walk as much as possible, at week-ends at least 4/5 miles, keeps my head clear also.
My knees are’nt great, way too much wear and tear so I take glucosamine with fish oils, really does help the joints, but what i’ve discovered lately and has given me boundless energy is wheatgrass, bought a juicer and grow my own from seed….wheatgrass that is, drink about half an eggcup full a day, seriously unbelievable, its a bit time consuming but i’m adamant on not taking medication etc so its worth it.
I commend you Bock for placing such a high value on your health, because we certainly can’t depend on our Health system to keep it tuned.
Apparantly, when you quit smoking the realistic amount of weight you should expect to gain is about 6/8 lbs from changes to your metabolism and increased appetite, the rest is really a decline into bad habits, no exercise and overeating, such is the advice from sagely experts not me.
Yes. 45 mins each day. I have three kids I want to watch grow into happy adults.
I now have 4 grandkids and I want to have fun with them for at least another 25 years, and I’m determined to see my daughters through menopause, so I can laugh and laugh, as they have done with me !
Bock,damn that jogging malarky,swimming’s the man….always…..and hot food?,never water,it cools the pallate,to allow spices etc. to attack again,….hot tea…always,believe me,I live in Thailand…
st.leger.norma, good comment from you, please excuse the use of your space BOCK but that was a really good comment line from her.
Before Feb 2008 I was a real fat bugger. I’m only 5ft 9 but I weighed almost 16 stone. I decided to hit the gym 3 times a week doing mostly cardio exercises. I started eating a big breakfast in the mornings and I cut down on spuds. I also cut out white rice, white bread and pasta completely. After an evening in the gym I would just eat a large helping of fish and no carbs. After about 4 months my weight dropped to 12st 12lbs. It’s crept up to 13st 9lbs again (mainly cos I’ve been a lazy bastard since Christmas) so I decided to hit the old gym routine again.
You poor fucker…… Does that mean no more excursions to Donkey Forde’s? Oh Man, the meanest chips and battered sausages in europe!
Donkey Ford’s? Disgusting, grease-soaked slop. I wouldn’t go near the place.
Good on you, Bock. Fags and fatty food with the lads are not a fair exchange for your life. I gave up the smokes 26 years ago and have no regrets, especially now when smoking in public has the social cachet of herpes. And I started looking after my fitness in recent months, working out every day, cutting out bad carbs (white bread, sugar, pasta, potatoes), and losing two and a half stone in the process. I’ve never felt better and, like you, now find the food I used to enjoy quite disgusting. Like the stuff in this site.