Model Stampede

You couldn’t make this up.

Hundreds of women were waiting to audition as America’s Next Top Model when a car pulled up, belching smoke.

Someone shouted Fire! and everyone immediately panicked, forgetting that they weren’t inside a building and therefore, even if it was a real fire, there would be no problem.  They’re models, of course, let’s not forget.  Things took a turn for the worse when a man jumped out of the car and started grabbing women’s purses.

Omigod!  Omigod! they all screamed and ran around waving their fingernails in the air. 

Six women had medical treatment for feeling faint, and three people were arrested, including the smoke-belching thief.

The street was littered with chairs and sleeping bags as well as clothes and shoes abandoned in the panic.  Expensive clothes and shoes.  A city spokesman declined to place a value on the damage in broken heels, torn hemlines and ruined hair, saying simply, This is a tragedy.  A real, human tragedy with real victims. It won’t be easy to get over this.

President Obama pledged aid, including a team of fashion designers and emergency manicurists.  Other agencies to offer support include Coiffeurs Sans Frontières, an aid agency specialising in supplying hairdressing to disaster victims.

A spokeswoman for the models made the following statement:

It was like, totally, you know, Oh! My! God?  I was like, Omigod.  It was Un! Believable!

7 thoughts on “Model Stampede

  1. I’d be more interested in why a group of cops were insisting on pulping one individual when they would have been better employed directing the human traffic out of the confined space they were also maintaining with their own barriers.

    I would not like to be relying on these idiots to police an emergency. And I have seen some very clever and constructive policing of protesters in Washington in my day. But that requires leadership and these idiots are all over the place.

  2. Perhaps, and competing for a medal.

    I think I’d prefer a bit more crowd control if I was in the middle of that lot.

    And if it takes that many of them to arrest the robber they could benefit from a FÁS course and earn this country a few $$$ to boot.

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