Indian Elections
Apr 17th, 2009 | By Bock | Category: World714 million voters.
I was watching TV coverage of the Indian elections yesterday and a question came to my mind, a question that has often occurred to me when watching coverage of events in India.
Imagine that.
714 million voters in one democracy, and it all seems to work. Incredible. Simply incredible. I wish we had a democracy that worked.
But anyway, that isn’t what I wanted to ask you.
No.
What I wanted to ask you is very simple: are all Indian policemen fat?
I believe the skinny ones are legally obliged to wear fat suits, which is inhumanely cruel in an Indian summer.
If you think the policemen are tubby Bock, you should see their sumo wrestlers. They’re pretty much standard size, in keeping with the average weight of a Japanese equivalent. Come to think of it, I’m not sure why I brought it up.
It doesn’t. India is as corrupt if not worse than here, but on a much bigger scale.
It doesn’t what?
Seriously, one of my two romantic hopes for life is that one day I can go to India, be it New Delhi or Mumbai or wherever, and just watch the elections take place.
Magnificent stuff.
No doubt you’re wondering what the other one is, Bock.
I fully intend one day to go to Malta, climb to the top of Fort St Elmo and wave an imaginary claymore around at invisible Ottomans storming the ramparts a la 1565.
Or perhaps it’ll be a real claymore. I haven’t thought that far ahead.
Thanks Bock.Sound.Have you any conception of how fucking hard it is too get Rice Crispies that you snorted laughing from yer nose out of a keyboard?Classic…
They keep some naan bread down the front of their shirts in case they get peckish during a long stint. You’re just mis-reading the situation, Bock.
Oh it’s rice krispies is it? I’m mis-reading the situation.
Was in New Delhi once, you can’t walk 100 hundred yards down the road and your besieged by beggars – run back to the hotel bar. Elephants go for routine walks in the city centre. Charming up to a point, but Jumbo and her cute baby son, shite flying out of his ass like pellets, don’t break their stride for anyone or anything. Cows, sacred animals, are all over the place, and nare an EEC grant in sight. Some Indians stopped to nod furiously at Daisey in prayer, very moo–ving (Jesus).The person that I was with was convinced that a body we passed lying in a street was dead. No one had told him yet however. A woman was giving birth down a lane, an elephant standing yards away. Still, they are a welcoming people. They appear to have more of an awareness of the common good, unlike the scumdog millionaires in this country.
I don’t know how anyone gets fat in India, My first trip to India was when I was 18, it went roughly like this .
“Ma, I’m going to India”
(she was more outraged that i called her Ma)
“you are what !!??”
“YA, I’ll call you”
“have you paid for a flight?”
“no ma i have a lift, we’re driving”
“whhaattt??”
“bye ma”
It was a moment of madness, but what a journey, its amazing when i think of it now, all those countries that are now so inaccessable.
I have returned many times to Chennai, not as a tourist but for work, very very different, there is no democracy as we know it, all my romantic notions of India were totally obliterated but never the fascination.
Maybe the “fatness” is an indication of more corruption, but in India its the wonder of never knowing.
Bock, Julio said Mumbai.
I can’t get a picture of Bibi Baskin in a fat Indian policeman suit out of my mind.
In that good, but slightly pervy way.
She’s below in Kelala these days.
My wife and I are just back from traveling around India and a lot is still very much as Abdul says. I read an allegation of corruption against a political party because they had failed to enact legislation to stop encroachment by the poor onto roadsides and common land in return for votes! And I read of a lorry load of sacred cows on their way to an illegal abattoir being liberated by the police. Its the monkeys that take the biscuit though, literally.
Fat Policemen? It’s the samosas…gets ‘em everytime
I saw a documentary once where it was clearly evidenced that Indian policemen in one particular city ran a lucrative pedophile network!
However to keep to your question, none of the policemen filmed on that documentary were fat, just their bank accounts.