None of the following forms of humour are approved by the Central Committee for Deciding What is Funny. You will not make jokes about any of these subjects without first obtaining clearance from the PC Police.
Islam. You can’t laugh at Islam or somebody will threaten to kill you. Oops, I’m a dead man: Imagine being a dead Muslim.
Black people. Unless you’re a black person yourself, in which case you can not only joke about black people, but you can even call them niggers and nobody minds: Chris Rock – Black People.
Mother Teresa. The living saint, who is now dead, was a thieving old hypocrite, but you can’t say that either. Oops again: Mother Teresa, the crook
Feminism. It’s just not funny. You will not laugh at the feminism. You will not!! This is not permitted. You will not inflict your patriarchal sense of oppressive entitlement on the sisterhood. Understood? Am I In Trouble With The Metaphor Police?
The Pope. Jokes about the spiritual leader of Catholicism are in bad taste and will not be tolerated. Das Papahund
Tinkers. These ancient indigenous people of Ireland have a rich and noble tradition of burning PVC cable insulation, holding bareknuckle fights for money and having huge brawls with slash-hooks. You must never, ever slag the travelling community, who are never, ever, ever wrong. It’s not only a crime, but a sin. Oops: Christmas Toys
Princess Diana (well, Mother Teresa again, actually). Di and Dodi Done Down in Dastardly Deed
Catholicism. Goddamit anyway. Talk about asking for trouble. Battlestar Catholactica
Jesus. Saint Bock’s Gospel
Murder victims. Manson Family Murders
Padre Pio. Piss this guy off and he’ll surround you. Padre Pio The Silicon Saint
Naming Cities. We mustn’t use our names for foreign cities. Instead, we must use the same names as the locals. Placenames and the Thought Police
Prophets. I’ve probably pissed off Jews, Christians and Muslims with this one: Sorry, Moses?
Saints. Mind you, this guy deserves it: Saint Paul’s Letters
So just be careful now, that you don’t go around offending someone, somewhere,some time, or you’ll have the PC Police after you like a speeding ton of bricks up a drainpipe.
There are a few more sacred cows I haven’t had a go at yet. Israel is one, and of course there’s always the real sacred cows, which are also sacred cows, I suppose.