Falling Down

I fell a lot in my time.

Once, when I was nineteen, I fell off a bike and shattered my wrist so badly that it’s still deformed to this day, and will never be fully right.  Another time, I fell and gashed the side of my head open, but that was due to drink or smoking Leb red, so I deserved it.

I fell for many scams, and I fell ill, but not very much, I’m glad to say.

I fell from grace more than once, and I fell in love a few times as well, though not many.

I fell out a window acting the fool and damaged my back when I was only sixteen, but I’m glad to say it’s been a while since I was last paralysed with pain as a result.

I often fell playing football, but that’s because I was always a shite footballer.  I also fell behind in cross-country races and drinking competitions.

I fell foul of my teachers and my employers, not to mention family members and assorted associates.  I fell among thieves. I fell away from religion.  I fell out with friends.

I fell around laughing.  I fell in with a bad crowd.  I fell into many traps.

I fell under a motorbike when I was very young and sustained a fractured skull, which many would say accounts for my behaviour and attitude.

I fell under the influence of people, some of whom did me good and remain firm soulmates.  I fell asleep at the wheel.

I fell short of my ideals.  I fell silent.  I fell well below the standards expected of me.  I fell back exhausted.  I fell into error.

We were talking about falling the other night, Joe and myself, as we sucked a couple of pints before the Dylan gig.  What our children will say as we get older.

If I fall now, today, and maybe hurt myself grievously, sustaining a burst eyeball or a lacerated scrotum, my beloved daughter might give Bullet a call.



Dad fell.

Yeah?  All right?

He’ll be ok.

That’s now, but what about in ten years’ time?  Will they be saying Dad fell?  No. They’ll be saying Dad had a fall.  And they’ll nod ominously.

Frowns all round. He had a fall, you say?

Yeah.  He had a fall.

And even that won’t be too bad until you fast forward the years.


Yes.  Hello.  How are you?

Our father had another fall.

Damn.  I’m a bit busy now.

Just letting you know.

Thank you.  That certainly is worrying.

It certainly fucking is.

Imagine what will happen ten years later.



Dad had –

Another one of his falls?


OK.  I’ll call the nursing home.  It’s about time we put our foot down.


I’m telling you, we’re all fucked.  Nursing home? I’m not falling for that one.

15 thoughts on “Falling Down

  1. I reckon your right, they’ll – our own flesh and blood – fuck us into an old peoples home
    in the time it takes to say “his mind has fallen asunder”. T’will be like Homer and Marge when they were looking for a home and convinced grandpa Simpson to let them into his place. They weren’t there a fortnight before they had poor O’l grandpa shifted to the quare place. We’ll end out days steeped in urine,listening to piped-in Daniel O’Donnell, or worse, Phil Coulter – unable to turn it off – and the nurses, big hefty rural types, reared on bacon and cabbage in Borris-in-Ossory deliberatly keeping us alive for the €800 a week – the bastards.

  2. ‘Sis, I think Himself is drinking more than usual Jacky D!!

    ‘Oh Man, leave NOW!, take only what you can carry, WE’RE DOOMED, DOOMED I tell ye!!’

  3. All of these “latest” research based reports on yet another way to live wonder often get me thinking. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be healthy and have a descent life span. But what is the fucking point in all of us living to be 110 and being a burden on our 80 year old children. I certainly don’t want to listen to piped Daniel O’Donnell no matter how old I am. I watched my two grandmothers fade away in a ( very good, yet expensive) nursing home. It’s not dignified, it really isn’t.

  4. Good stuff outa you Bock. Thoughtful piece. That old passage of time chestnut.
    I’m currently concluding that there is no conclusion .
    You don’t mention any Falling Down moments, a lá Michael Douglas and his collection of machine guns. I’ve come near to one of those.

  5. Feck it Sniffle you beat me to the mention of the movie Falling Down, good show.

    Speaking of movies, there may be a solution for you Bock in Little Miss Sunshine. Have you seen it? Remember the Grandpa?

    He decided that once he reached a certain age he’d start snorting Class As. He explained his decision to his grandson thus;
    “When you’re young, you’re crazy to do that shit. When you’re old you’re crazy not to.”

  6. sugar, when it gets to that time, come down heah and y’all can live the high life with all of us! fuck that nursing home shit! xoxox

  7. You may be missing the point boys, Falling Down, as in the movie, was more or less about a fall from the accepted norms of civilised society – as in taking a baseball bat to the Korean shopkeeper for over charging, and the subsequent descent of a man waging a war against the frustrations of the system, something like that anyway.Falling down as in this post was a look at how families might have an altogether different perception of a fall at 70 as opposed to 20,30,40 etc etc – as in ship the contrary auld fuck off to the quare place -but not before he signs over the house, and gives us the pin code to his bank card.

  8. Don’t know about that ABDUL although you are close to the point, I think however that SAVANNAH makes a lovely interpolation!

    Wouldn’t you accept such an openly welcome alternative?

    I think BOCK has spotted a real humdinger of an issue here given the stats which show that the majority of deaths among occupants of nursing homes arise from complications following hip replacement surgery; such surgery necessitated by the occupants having had a FALL!.

  9. A whole lot of falling down.
    I have fallen physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, morally, socially…..
    I always seemed to find a way back.
    Recently, I have fallen, I just can’t see a way back this time, Its not really my personal fall, sorry can’t really explain either.
    Has it ever happened to anyone else, the person I was 9 days ago, I can no longer find.
    Sorry if this is all vague and deep and clueless but I’m probably searching and I just can’t find a way back up.

  10. There’s always a way back St, and here I’m using the old sweet science nonsense again, Dunne fell three times, in the first round versus Martinez defending his Euro title at the Point. But less than two years later he was world champ – despite falling twice in the fifth. It isn’t the falling down that does us in, t’is the inclination to believe there is no reason to get back up.

    Sounds good unstranger – has Savannah any Irish in her I wonder, cough…..

  11. I’ve never understood this thing about broken hips leading to deaths. It happened to a friend of mine who emigrated decades ago. She was only six years older than me, but she died after breaking a (second) hip.

    I googled why people die from broken hips and I could only find references to “complications” arising from lack of mobility. Nothing very specific at all.

    (PS I’ll be thinking of you, Norma.)

  12. Nora.My grandmother died just over a year ago. 98 years of age.A broken hip did the deed.She wouldn’t have survived an operation to repair the damage and the pain was treated with morphine which eventually took it’s toll.
    Savannah-I think if gran had made it over theah to y’all about 20 years ago she’d still be kickin ass.Yep.fuck that nursing home shit.

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