National Blasphemy Day

This is National Blasphemy Day, and as a committed blasphemer, I thought it was only right to bring you a selection of my blasphemous writings.

I hope to Jesus the Irish government doesn’t prosecute me for being such a blasphemer, but you never know these days …

It only seemed proper, on this most auspicious of days, to piss off most of the major religions in equal measure.

Therefore, I offer you these for the broader Christian community:

Saint Bock’s Gospel

Saint Paul’s Letters

Christian Science and the Zombie Jesus

These for the Catholics:

Padre Pio The Silicon Saint

Battlestar Catholactica

Di and Dodi Done Down in Dastardly Deed

Father O’Lunatic Reads the Gospel

This for the Muslims:

Imagine being a dead Muslim

And this for theJews:

Sorry, Moses?

While I’m at it, what about the Scientologists

Bock Joins the Scientologists

and the Jehovahs

Jehovah’s Witnesses and Blood Transfusions

Jehovah’s Witnesses Mutate

Or we could have a bag of mix ‘n’ match:

Vegans, Jehovah Witnesses, Transubstantiation and Other Lunatic beliefs

Now. Would you say enough adherents of nutcase religions feel outrage? Is Dermot Ahern going to prosecute me for pissing off these fucking lunatics? I certainly hope so.


Previously on Bock:

Crimes of Blasphemous Libel

20 thoughts on “National Blasphemy Day

  1. You forgot one religion, Munster Fans
    Please let me be the first to voice an opinion

    Fuck all of you that protect your own, Eddie Halvey played for Munster and enjoys the protection of all that support this made up team. I say Fuck Munster because it fcould just as well be Fianna Fail or Fianna me bollix. Jobs for the boys, Up Munster

  2. Rob — You already asked me about Eddie Halvey and I told you I wasn’t ready to comment yet. You forget that one of our own was killed and that the young lad’s family are all our own people too.

    Secondly, I will not permit you, or anyone else, to dictate what’s written about on this site. In my own good time, I will put up a post about the Eddie Halvey affair, but it won’t be on your terms or those of anyone else, and these stupid, abusive comments will not influence what’s written or when it appears.

    You appear to be consumed with bitterness for some reason, and I’m still wondering if you’re the same fool who spent most of last night submitting bitter little messages, which were all deleted. Time will tell.

    While I’m on that point, some people seem to think this site should provide an unrestricted right to free speech. It does not. No properly-run website offers such a facility.

    If I don’t like a comment — for whatever reason — it will not be published, and I will not explain why. This site is not for every crackpot and nutcase to vent their rage, envy and frustration.

    Finally, I refer you to the comments policy. Respect it in future or this may be the last comment you make here.

  3. dont forget the adventists and the bahai,they will feel left out if you dont throw a few comments about them,the shower of fuckin eejits.on a happier note,site looks nice bock

  4. Point taken I didn’t see you had said anything about the affair. I don’t want to dictate to you what you put on your site but the lack of coverage of the affair on blogs is bemusing. I don’t send bitter little messages I don’t sign I am a different fool. Fair play for publishing the above good luck with your new format.

  5. Nine out of ten atheists are miserable bastards a top expert claimed, yesterday.

    However, the expert, who refused to be named, declined to comment on recent allegations
    that an unusually high percentage of atheists are touching up domestic animals.

    “Heaven knows their miserable now but they won’t go for treatment,” he said. “They’ve
    been like that since they stopped listening to their priests and stopped reading the bible.

    Below, a picture of a miserable atheist outside a house of God, last Sunday.

    “He’s been acting really odd for ages, like,” added a close friend, yesterday,
    “I don’t know the fuck what’s wrong with him.”

  6. Rob — You might be surprised how little support Eddie Halvey enjoys among the Munster rugby community, but this post isn’t about him or about rugby. It’s about blasphemy day. You can comment on the Halvey case when I put up a post on it, which will be at a time of my choosing.

    Abdul — Atheists are believers too. They fervently believe there’s no God.

  7. Bock, I describe myself as an atheist, but I don’t “fervently believe” that there’s no God – it’s just the most accessible term to use instead of saying “I’ve yet to encounter a religion that is both internally and externally consistent, and from a casual observance of the universe, it seems apparent that any Western notions of a deity who intervenes for the good of humankind are unfounded. Also, agnostics are pussies, Richard Dawkins told me so.”

    I’m liking the new site, although at the same time I’ll miss the old one for a while (there was something quite raw about it that I found compelling). I’m about to follow suit with my national blasphemy day post, but it’ll be a crock of shit, since life got in the way of writing something daycent, as it tends to do.

  8. I have no reason to believe a god exists, but I have no reason to believe a god doesn’t exist either. That makes me an agnostic.

    If I state categorically that there’s no god, then I’m an atheist, However, since I have no evidence to support the assertion, I must be basing it on belief. That makes me a believer in the absence of a god.

  9. @ Bock I’m not really adding anything to the discussion, but “tru dat”. I will say that on the continuum of theist to non-theist, you’d want to be a slobbering idiot to be be at either end, but I so close to the godless end that it’d be disingenuous to say otherwise. Perhaps I can justify the label by saying I’m atheistic with regards to every god I’ve encountered?

    Gah – I need to stop this twaddle – it figures that it’d come up on the comment thread, I’m just sorry to be the guy promulgating it!

  10. You have to go with the etymology. A-theos. Without god.

    Some people take that to mean that they haven’t adopted a belief in a god, but i have trouble accepting that position.

    If you say definitively that there is no god, then you must be asserting a belief, because you have no evidence to support the assertion.

    If you assert that there is a god, you also have no evidence.

    Both positions are based on belief.

  11. So what if Jesus turned water into wine…I turned a whole student loan into Vodka once. Your move Jesus…

  12. “When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?”

    -This title offends all three major religions. And vegetarians too.

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