Questions For Fianna Fáil Election Candidates
May 16th, 2009 | By Bock | Category: Bock rant, PoliticsNed O’Keeffe and his band of shuffling lickspittles were doing the rounds this morning, pressing the flesh and forcing themselves on law-abiding people. They even had the gall to invade my morning sanctuary, Nancy Blake’s, as I tried to read my paper in peace.
Ned, as you might be aware, is a bumbling waffler who represents Cork East in the Dáil. Now he’s running for the European Parliament as an official National Embarrassment. He’s a gobshite of the first rank who hasn’t two straight ideas to rub together. A cunning, self-interested pig farmer without principle or insight.
Why would we send such gobshites to Europe to represent us?
Have we nothing better than this shambling goon to send out there? What must people think of us when we put forward zombie politicians who can barely speak any language at all, and who know nothing about anything except how to pull strokes for their cronies.
Is it any wonder they look at Ireland askance when the best we can do is to send fools like Ned O’Keeffe to fly the flag in Brussels?
As Ned left the pub, he offered me a leaflet. I was so relieved to see him going that I forgot my manners and didn’t attack him with a full broadside of insults and accusations. The best I could manage was a quiet fuck off and shove your fucking leaflet you fucking crook.
For this, I am truly ashamed and apologise you. I’ll do better next time.
However, if I had my wits about me, I might have asked him my standard list of questions, the things I throw at ever Fianna Fáil person I meet.
I should have asked him the following questions.
- Since the public finances are so dire, could you please tell me the value of the gas in the Corrib Field?
Answer: €14 billion.
- Could you please tell me how much of that money goes back to the government from Shell E&P, the exploration company extracting the gas?
Answer: Nothing.
- How much was paid in bribes to secure this deal?
Answer: Peanuts for monkeys.
- Would you mind telling me how much money in compensation has been paid out as a result of sexual abuse by the clergy?
Answer: €1.2 billion
- Would you now tell me how much of that cost has been paid by the Catholic church?
Answer: Nothing.
- How much of that money has been paid by the taxpayer?
Answer: All of it.
- Who negotiated this deal for the clergy?
Answer: One of Bertie Ahern’s former employers, Sr Helena O’Donoghue.
- Why is our national broadband so bad?
Answer: Because Fianna Fáil gave our communications infrastructure to asset strippers.
- Why is the Fianna Fáil government adding €70 billion to the national debt to bail out the bankers?
Answer: Because the bankers own the property developers and the property developers own Fianna Fáil.
- Why did your government decide to put the national children’s hospital in the most inaccessible and cramped location, at the Mater hospital in North inner-city Dublin, even though they were offered a free greenfield site near the junction of two major motorways?
Answer: Because the Mater hospital belongs to Bertie Ahern’s former employers, the Mercy order of Nuns.
- Why did your party give tax breaks to property developers to build ghost housing estates all over the country at a time when the economy was already booming?
Answer: Because the builders bribed them to do it.
- When are you going to challenge the vested interests in medicine and the legal professions that have this country in a stranglehold of restrictive practices?
Answer: Never.
- Why did Bertie Ahern call us Luddites when we questioned the reliability of his stupid e-voting machines?
Answer: Because Fianna Fáil has no respect for democracy.
- How much did those machines cost?
Answer: €52 million.
- What would €52 million pay for?
Answer: 52 schools. A top-class cystic fibrosis unit. Special needs assistants for all children in need of them.
- What progress has your government made in developing wind power and wave power in ireland?
Answer: None.
And finally, Ned, a simple one.
- What is the internet?
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Also on Bock: Torturing Fianna Fáil Canvassers
I thought it was a couple of trillion worth of gas off the Mayo coast. 14 billion seems a lot smaller than i thought
That’s what the current field is valued at to the best of my knowledge. 13 or 14 billion.
A billion here, a billion there. Before you know it, you’re talking real money.
I recently ruined a very happy family gathering because a close relation praised FF. I was ashamed of myself. However my anger at these bastards knows no limits. I honestly believe this country is finished.
As ever BOCK; spot on.
Good pub, did they not have the courtyard covered ages before the ban
It should be pointed out that not one Fianna Fail politician can come up with a believable reason why you would need a very powerful microscope to be able to see the FF logo on their posters.
Michael Martin was asked about it on The Last word during the week and made some shit up about it being “a design issue” Pathetic..
Are they ashamed to be in the party altogether?
was in the crescent shopping centre the other day, and saw some FF politicians canvassing…they were handing out flyers to people as they walked past…a well dressed woman was coming towards them, and the politican tried to give her a flyer..she told him ” You must be fucking joking” and kept walking…
i savaged them when they were in my area,best response was oh this is a global recession,i said jesus h christ the rest of the world must hate fianna fail too for fucking up their economies as well as our own,im nearly certain i was called a smart bollix as they went out my gate,it made my day.
Merci Bock!!, now all I have to do is print out that questionnaire and, for once, actually look forward to one of those fucks calling to my door.