I know it’s evil. I know they’re only doing their job.
Or do I?
Wait a minute. They’re not doing a job. They’re not producing anything. They’re just a a crowd of self-interested cocksuckers trying to persuade us that we should vote for the party that crashed our country into a brick wall.
Well that’s all right then. It’s open season, isn’t it?
Pause. Guilty pause. Confession.
I’ve been torturing them long before I went through that logical exculpation.
It must be two or three weeks since the first naive pair of Fianna Fail canvassers arrived at my door, bowing and scraping. Smiling nervously.
Hi, we were just going to drop off a few leaflets.
We’ll just leave them here, ok?
What fucking party?
Nervous grin. Fianna, eh, Fa-fa-fa …
Get the fuck off my property before I set the fucking dog on ya, thieving crooked shower of cunts get the fuck outa here now or I’ll kick the fuckin teeth outa yer fuckin face shower of crooked thievin cunts fuckoff!!!
Incredibly, one of them was still approaching me, wearing a horrible, ingratiating Mormon grin and holding out a leaflet.
Where the fuck are you going?
Our policies —
Your policy you thieving crooked cunt fuck off where the fuck is my fuckin dog come here now Satan and tear the bollocks offa this fuckin fucker get the fuck outa here now or I’ll kick the fuckin teeth outa yer fuckin face fuck off and die ya crowd of crooked thievin cunts fuck you and all belongin to ya cunts fucker fucks fuck off that means you ya stupid fucker do you want to fuckin die????
I think they got the message.