Chuggers

Charity muggers

I was in town this afternoon, just before the Lions- South Africa game (hock-thooey!!!) when I decided to get myself a newspaper to have a quick look at whoever is currently stealing all our money.  And so I stopped into Easons, the well-known newsagents, but not without difficulty.

Why?

Because there’s a guy outside the door with a little card table, wearing a yellow jacket and holding out a sheet of paper, interfering with my free passage into this shop.

Support the disabled, he urges me.

Why? I ask him.  Why the fuck should I support the disabled?

He seems a little taken aback.  I don’t know if anyone has asked him this question before.

Well, I say. Why?  Why the fuck should I support the disabled? And while I’m at it, could you please tell me who exactly the disabled are?  Who the fuck are these people?  The? Disabled?  Are they a family?

He stares at me, worried.  You are one seriously disturbed individual.

Disturbed, am I? I demand. Disturbed?  In what fucking sense would you call me disturbed?  Disturbed as in disturbed ha ha? How disturbed? You said I’m disturbed. How the fuck am I disturbed?

He backs away.  It’s OK, he says.

OK? I say.  OK how?  Like OK ha ha?

It’s all right, he says.

It fucking isn’t, I tell him.  You want me to support the disabled.  So come on.  Who the fuck are they?  What the fuck did the disabled ever do for me?  They can fuck right off, and so can you.  Ok?

OK, he says, and sits down at his little card table.

Good, I say, and go into the shop to buy my newspaper.

When I come back out, he’s still there at his little table, repeating his mantra.

Support the disabled, he says before he recognises me, but it’s too late.

The police turn out to be very understanding considering the circumstances.

18 thoughts on “Chuggers

  1. The missus supports a few charities up this way, and always leaves out a bag of clothes, a regular stack of auld books, and more annoyingly of late, my ‘loud’ and also bloody expensive golf trews. So it was with some disdain that the local charity collectors refused to take away a new unused bed divan (still in its packaging) due to the fact that it did not contain enough drawers.

    Since when did the homeless / needy become so fussy? Should I now take into account their benchmark requirements for future collections when I purchase new goods?

    Away and shite. Charity now begins at hame…. roll on November 5th.

  2. Well, gents, I ‘d rather support the Truly disabled with charity, than the freeloaders (including politicians) with my tax dollars that are forcefully taken from me.

    Jimmy,
    I’m all for charity beginning at hame. Best to take care of family and friends, first; then outward as ya can.

  3. Don’t know where to post this so i’m landing it here.
    I was telling someone about your site yesterday, this person would have known Limerick really well from 50’s to 80’s.
    He told me that there was a person called Bock the Robber who lived somewhere between Broad st and Mary st, and he was given the name because he went about robbing peoples dogs, never tried to sell them, just kept them, unless an owner came to reclaim them, apparantly he had over 30 dogs, don’t know if thats total truth but thats the story………………

  4. Well done BOCK. I’ve been tempted to give that ass-wipe a bolliking previously but restrained myself. I generally reserve that for those who complain loudly when I pass them by and don’t give them the free money they expect to be given simply because they bothered to indicate their preference for it; publicly!

    It is for certain, those truly in need will never beg openly like that bollix. I believe those truly in need do everything they can for themselves while silently hoping for relief.

    That’s why they can be so difficult to locate.

  5. I know that guy. Every single Saturday he’s planked there outside Eason’s repeating the same brain-numbing litany.
    “Support disabled now please?”
    “Support disabled now please?”
    “Support disabled now please?”
    “Support disabled now please?”

    AAAH! How can the staff in Eason’s put up with listening to that all day?

  6. He is bad enough but the chuggers who get me are:

    1/ Chuggers from out side Limerick who target Limerick for one day to collect for charities that have nothing to do with Limerick, Fr this, Sr that. piss off

    2/ The young professional chuggers, usually English, that infest Cruises St. They approach all happy & smiley and try to shake hands. Usually collecting for UK charities like Oxfam. Piss off

  7. That guy is collecting for the disabled, you should count yourself lucky that you are in good health. I hate these collectors myself but the disabled are probably the one charity that I would give money too. Why didn’t you use the annoying cunts in the yellow jackets that look for your bank details, or those gangsters for Barnados or the stupid cunts that collect money at traffic lights

  8. Hank — Two things.

    Firstly, it is not acceptable on this site to throw personal insults at another commenter.

    Secondly, do have figures on how much the charity gets as a percentage of money collected on the street?

  9. Wasn’t aimed at another commenter and I’m sure the percentage is higher than fuck all

  10. Your story if true, Bocky would make you an incredibly rude person. Unworthy of any defence or loyalty. I read your comments policy and boy do you have some chutzpah – pot kettle black.

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