Who shot Michael Jackson?

 Posted by on June 26, 2009  Add comments
Jun 262009
 

jackson001Jesus Christ, Michael Jackson has been murdered!

This is terrible.

I’m drawing up a list of suspects immediately because there isn’t a second to waste. The slightest delay could mean a murderer going free, so here’s my short-list.  Please, please, I beg of you, feel free to add to it if you think of other possible killers.

I think Michael Jackson’s killer could be any of these people:

Gordon Ramsay.

Susan Boyle.

The Man from Atlantis.

Gavrilo Princip.

The Christian Brothers.

Bubbles.

John Wilkes Booth.

The Dalai Lama.

Ian Botham.

Jean-Luc Picard.

Maggie Simpson.

Bono.

Colonel Parker.

Yog Sotthoth.

Lee Harvey Oswald.

Tony Soprano.

The Green Lantern.

The Gua’Uld

Cher.

Simon Cowell.

Mother Teresa.

Sue-Ellen.

Jarvis Cocker.

Leadbelly

Professor Plum, in the library with the candlestick.

………….

What do you reckon?  Am I on the right track or do you think somebody else shot Michael Jackson?

  75 Responses to “Who shot Michael Jackson?”

Comments (75)
  1.  

    How could you not see the truth Bock. It was clearly an MI5 / MI6 conspiricy set up by the royal family to cover up the death of Diana which Jackson was involved in so that he and Madonna could adopt prince william.

    Do I win a prize for that one.

  2.  

    His father shot him at birth. And fucked his mind into the rest of the poor bastards life. may he now have found some form of peace Michael R.I.P.

  3.  

    Gratuitous nonsense to create discourse is not a quality but an admission of inferiority. Your literary talents should be employed as they normally are in combating controversy as opposed to creating it.
    Cheap shot unappreciated by an avid reader!

  4.  

    Below the line?

  5.  

    It’s going to be one great return tour
    . what did he die of ?
    he died of a thursday…

  6.  

    I think Mr Binman did it so he could get the recycling contract.

  7.  

    The body is going straight to Mme Tousauds.

  8.  

    How will they dispose of all that plastic?

    Make toys from it so that kids can play with him for a change.

  9.  

    One less pervert in the world.

  10.  

    OJ Simpson has vowed not to rest until the real killer is found.

  11.  

    Who was the Pervert? His “daddy” put him on stage at five years old. Parents allowed their eight or nine year old boys to go play with an adult? Allegedly getting $20million each as a result . Who were the perverts?

  12.  

    The Medics did a great job resuscitating him in the ambulance, where Wacko had enough time to request to be put in the Childrens Ward.

    Bono did it.

  13.  

    Bubba is now the prime suspect. According to an eye witness he was seen leaning out the window of the book depository with a semi automatic.

    He was also spotted on the proverbial grassy knoll shortly before being abducted by rock ‘n roll loving aliens.

    He’s the one for me……

  14.  

    R.I.P to a great musician.

  15.  

    Michael Jackson was the pervert Gary.

    The parents might have been at fault but he was the pervert. The parent’s sending their kids to him does not give him the right to abuse them.

  16.  

    Jacko hasn’t been this stiff since Macauly Culkin stayed over for the weekend.

  17.  

    I hope you’re not filing this under “humour” Bock. Not that I’m offended or anything, just….what are you at?

  18.  

    Isn’t it ironic that Farah Fawcett should die the same day as Wacko. She spend years with Majors, he spent years with minors.

    I’ll get my coat.

  19.  

    And staying on that note……..Upon reaching the pearly gates, Farrah Fawcett was granted one wish! She wished that all the children in the world would be safe. Not long after……..

  20.  

    Blame it on the boogie

  21.  

    For the people offended by this, I have only one bit of advice. Read the label.

  22.  

    Apparently when Farah got to the gates of heaven she was told she had one wish. Which she replied she wished for her children to be safe, shortly afterwards Michael Jackson died…..
    sorry…
    May both of them now rest in peace.

  23.  

    I heard Jim Corr may have had something to do with his death, last seen leaving the area where Michael was living proclaiming
    ” There will be only one!!! “

  24.  

    My thoughts are that you’re a bit over the top there boc, none of us knew this man’s personal make-up, thoughts and fears except what is available to us thru media sources, which is always hellbent on either sucking these peoples holes or savagely chewing them up for our enjoyment. What i DO know for CERTAIN, is that this guy was an amazingly talented musical genius who, along with a very small elite group of musicians, shaped, not helped now, but actually shaped popular musical culture. Be at peace mikey and sorry you missed out on doing your gigs.

  25.  

    I don’t think the alleged child molestor – he paid one 13 year old 5 million dollars in hush up money – Michael Jackson was a genius. Billy Jean, a classic pop/dance track yes, and Thriller a great album no doubt. But that was about it folks – and both were in collaboration with the multi talented Quincy Jones. Jackson would just about make the top twenty in the pantheon of musical greats in my book. He was no Sinatra, Elvis, Dylan, Stones, Beatles, Bowie, etc etc.

    Meantime, if the Christian brothers in the Ryan report had written and produced Thriller would we forgive them?

  26.  

    I am writing to ye for a bit of help . I recently uncovered this old video footage on reels . What i’m looking for is , if it would be possible for ye to put the link below up on your site .
    It contains footage of fishermen up plassey fishing in the 1940’s . I would like to pass the video to the families of the people in it but their identies are unknown to me except for one . His name is Eamon (beefy) Madden . I would appreciate if you could help by posting this on your site.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uGm43JYobk

    Sorry for writing here but i couldn’t find you contact info on your home page

  27.  

    Fair enough comment abdul, no doubt millions will agree with BOTH of us. A Fantastic organ, the human brain, which allows us all the opportunity to take in information, analyse it, and formulate our own opinions based on our individual thought processes and experiences. Christian brothers could’nt have done Thriller, they are Thriller.

  28.  

    The doctor did it,shot poor mikey up to the eyeballs in demerol..now the doctors on the missing list,shades of elvis here,alls thats missing is peanut butter sandwiches, R I P to a great entertainer,wouldnt have had him as a babysitter though (“,)

  29.  

    1eyedlespaul – Where did you notice me saying anything about Michael Jackson?

  30.  

    It was J.R.

  31.  

    he won’t be buried or cremated but recycled into shopping bags so he can forever remain white, plastic and dangerous to kids….

    ba boom tisssshhhhh!

  32.  

    I don’t see it now, but you banned somebody from your site recently, on the grounds that they had transgressed your guidelines. Bad attitude or something. You are aparently entitled to use words like cunt , ass hole , fuckwit etc., to denigrate your targets but your commenters are limited to a choice of either kissing your arse ala norma st leger et al, or at the most outrageous, begging your pardon for not completely agreeing with your every holy word. You used to be an interesting window into an Irish perspective but sadly you seem to have come to take yourself way too seriously.

  33.  

    Why don’t you kiss my fucking arse?

  34.  

    Sad,sad, sad response. You poor angry man- child.

  35.  

    Oh , and feel free to ban me also.

  36.  

    I know. Isn’t it pathetic?

    And here you are, upsetting yourself when you could be out having fun.

  37.  

    A nonsequiter response if I ever heard one, and I’ve heard a few. Or perhaps you were talking to the person over my shoulder.

  38.  

    That should be non sequitur

  39.  

    Sorry , I forgot about your literary rules. You’re quitecorrectIshouldhaveseparatedthosewords. I also don’t know how to do italics or whatever you used. Is it italics? I used to have a pen with a nib that did brilliant italics, so long as you leaned your head to the right.

  40.  

    Paulo1 Its a bit unfortunate you mentioned me in your comment because i had’nt responded to this post because i was appalled by it and many of the responses.
    I was’nt appalled by the irreverance, because usually i like that aspect, i was appalled by the needless cruelty of the post and many of the responses.
    This was partly because i have some great memories of MJ”s music and the incredible joy it gave to some of my children, also my respect for a musical genius and class A entertainer, he may not have all the cool kudo’s for a lot of people, but his talent was phenomonal.
    His life was complex and bewildering, he seemed to want to live the childhood he was denied, he was abused by his father and the media, and who would’nt want to create their own ” neverland ” given a choice.
    I never believed the ” abuse ” allegations against him, even though i could’nt be counted as a fan, his life was one difficult to comprehend but i believe his spirit was pure and gentle, maybe too gentle for a mean spirited world to understand.
    I have agreed with most of Bocks posts, not all, I would’nt consider myself an ” arse kisser ” but i take your point.
    I was really confused by this post because i saw it as incredibly hypocritical apart from its cruelty on many grounds, I can only imagine the incredible pain such a public figure like MJ had to endure and my sympathy to his family and true friends is sincere.
    Apart from all the piss taking on this post , I also found it just plain dumb, cruel schoolyard humour, not something i would have expected here, and thats my heartfelt response, life’s way too short for expression of this degree of nastiness.

  41.  

    I’m trying to find the cruel bit in the post Norma. Could you point it out to me?

  42.  

    My use of the term ” cruel ” is probably a subjective view.
    From the many insightful posts on your site over the months i have visited, i have probably formed a certain view of your take on the world as being open, researched, insightful and reasonable, therefore i was, i suppose dissapointed to see such cynicism directed toward the demise of a tortured soul, there is little doubt that MJ was among the legions of abuse victims, who unfortunatly did not recieve the protection of humanity that i find so unaceptable in all cases of abuse, maybe there are times that my sensitve self rises to the surface and even if it was my subjective view and even if i wrote ” post ” instead of ” thread ” as im not overly familiar with blog terminology, it was the post and it’s cynicism, the responses and their cruel content, i felt the entire issue was very uncomfortable.
    I don’t see how any ” abuse victim ” could be treated as the subject of indifferent humour in light of the facts and not the innuendo.
    There was never any evidence to brand MJ as an abuser of children but what a way to start a fire, it’s well docmented that toxic minded people use that course because to allude to sexual abuse will always be believed by someone, why would a right minded parent who believed their child had been sexually abused and willing to expose this abuse publicly take ” hush money ” makes no sense to me.
    I don’t care if i’m called an ” arse licker ” just because the majority of the time i do agree with your views, if i did’nt, i would’nt contribute to your site at all, but i won’t focus on the word ” cruel ” thats just my view and it does’nt matter if nobody agrees with me.
    I would feel sorry for anybody in the amount of pain that MJ appeared to be in, and as a fairly simple human i would not feel comfortable with a lot of what has been said here, just because i feel an obligation to treat any and all victims of abuse with the delicacy they are entitled to.

  43.  

    Norma — I have made no mention of Michael Jackson’s sexual inclinations, or even of the accusations against him. I have said nothing about his way of life, or the choices he made about his physical appearance.

    I have suggested that he was murdered. Everyone knows perfectly well he wasn’t shot but he was, by his own making, a semi-fictional character, and I see nothing wrong with evoking the shooting of another soap-opera character, JR Ewing.

    My list of possible suspects is only slightly more improbable than the bizarre cast of characters who attended Michael Jackson’e every living second.

  44.  

    Norma, – There is a elephant standing in this room, a big African bull one. But we can choose to ignore
    same and focus on the moon walking if you like. Below, from four years ago, it was alleged that Jackson

    —– “”””is a textbook pedophile, a 46-year-old predator who plied children with wine, vodka, tequila, Jim Beam whiskey, and Bacardi rum. A man who gave boys nicknames like Doo Doo Head and Blowhole and then quizzed them about whether they masturbated and if “white stuff” came out. A man who conducted drinking games with minors and surfed porn with them on a laptop in his Neverland Ranch bedroom, noting that if anyone asked what they were looking at, the kids should just say they were watching “The Simpsons.” A man who frequently talked sex with his little companions and explained that “boys have to masturbate or they go crazy.” A man who told one pajama-clad boy that he wanted to show him how to “jack off.” When the tipsy child declined the demonstration, Jackson announced, “I’ll do it for you,” and buried his hand in the boy’s Hanes briefs, size small. And a man who emphasized to his little friends that these activities were “their little secret” and should not be disclosed to anyone, even if a gun was at their head””””

  45.  

    Abdul — What’s the source of those allegations? Were they proven in a court?

  46.  

    The charges were not proven in court and Jackson was cleared on all counts But there are smoking guns all over the place – and lets not even get into the money he paid out, out of court.

    The entire 2005 trial is covered pretty comprehensively here.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People_v._Jackson

  47.  

    But Abdul, if you state something as a fact, you must be able to stand over it.

    As far as I can see, the witnesses against Jackson had little or no credibility and the entire thing seems to have been a scam to extract money from him. Therefore, the accusations you quote have no credibility either, since they haven’t been substantiated.

  48.  

    I used the word alleged before original above. I did not state anything as fact, just quoted part of the prosecutions allegations against him in the preamble to the 2005 trial. Even the Irish Times takes time out in an editorial on Jackson on Saturday to write: “A generation on from Thriller, Jackson’s life and career are inevitably seen through the prism of the tawdry and disturbing allegations of child sex abuse which dogged him for 15 years.” Was Jackson being blackmailed. Was he innocent or was he guilty as charged. The jury is still out in the court of public opinion.

  49.  

    The witnesses stated these things as facts but were unable to stand over their allegations.

    Therefore, what elephant in the room are you talking about? Is it the fact that some people made allegations they couldn’t support?

  50.  

    In some strange way i feel i have gotten to know some of you here on some safe level, It really is not my intention to create any issues or place the ” elephant in the room ” I am invariably guilty of thinking the best until i am proven wrong.
    It has probably been my intention to maintain a degree of naivety as a coping mechanism to some horrors i have seen, I cannot apologise for that but i was only expressing an opinion it’s really quite baseless in fact and therefore only personal and worthless in the larger scheme of things.
    I’m just going to leave it there because although i know i’m very capable of dealing with the unpleasant there are times i need to step away from just that and retreat to my nice little place.
    Abdul ; i don’t like that word ” alleged ” i don’t like how it covers a multitude of perceptions, yet grants the freedom to the press in the main to say what they like before facts are founded.
    However, i’m going to leave it there, i wish you all a pleasant, although wet dreary sunday.

  51.  

    Just a small payback for your nonsequiter v. non sequiter crack but don’t people stand behind their allegations rather than over them?

  52.  

    The term is non sequitur, not non sequiter.

  53.  

    Curses, foiled again, I knew I was typing too fast.

  54.  

    Hell fire and dammit. They stand BY their allegations. There, now I win!

  55.  

    Whacko Jacko was a paedophile and all those mourning his death are in the same denial that pathetic Irish Catholics are about the Nonces they listen to every Sunday. The media have just decided that pretending he was great will make more money that pointing out his sexual depravities. Anybody, media or private, who supports and mourns a paedophile is tacitly supporting or ignoring the abuse of children.
    Now that Whacko is dead will they support Gary Glitter adopting his kids?
    James

  56.  

    James — Gary Glitter was convicted. Michael Jackson was not. If you have additional information that didn’t come before the court, I’d be very interested to see it.

  57.  

    James, people liked his music – I love his music but I think he was suspect to say the least. Lots of people love Oscar Wilde’s work, yet he had an liking for young boys also. You can appreciate the talent of some -one and not condone their behaviour (tho in the case of Gary Glitter, his music was shit and he was a shit – a complete waste of space).

  58.  

    Being suspect is one thing. Being guilty is another matter entirely.

  59.  

    Obviously.

  60.  

    Flaming Nora – it’s all been going on here hasn’t it? Thanks everyone – I enjoyed that – most entertaining.

  61.  

    Hi Bock – been away for a while.

    I don’t think that it was out of place for you (emphasizing for you) to do this post. Like you said, you didn’t say anything bad about him (although you probably knew that it was baiting others to). But some people, especially Norma, came back to MJ’s defense (even if they thought that the post was an offense!). And you have been doing a good job putting down all of the various alledgers, pointing out that he was acquitted, dousing the smoking gun.

    No. 8 and Hoof (18 & 19) are very clever, even if they are crude and probably wrong.

    I am a recent fan of his, and love watching his videos. He did a lot for peace and the world’s children and other humanitarian causes. I compiled a list of good videos and nice words about him – want to see it?

    I’ll offer my TIC murderer hunch, with the caveat that I think they are (were) both great:

    Paul McCartney. ; )

  62.  

    Home come there’s never a baseball bat lying around when you need one? A coven of half crazed bats are organising a Michael Jackson day in Dublin for next weekend.

    Maybe our traffic wardens will slap tickets on their brooms for illegal parking? They plan to “take over” an area of the capitol to pay homage to an alleged child molester.

    As was written recently on a similar fest of vomit inducing mawkish sentimentally in London, half of em won’t even remember the words to Jacksons songs.

    “Bobby Jane, your not my mum”, etc etc.

    But the bastards will remember the words to – “We are the World”.

    And they WILL link hands and sing it over and over again as they sway side to side.

    Surely there are enterprising young men or women out there with access to Kalashnikovs.

    An article in the Sunday Times describes how Michael – an eternal child – he never grew up you know -, overruled his own manager when he suggested that the asking price of $45m was too much for the the Beatles back catalogue. But Jackson insisted on outbidding McCartney and Yoko Oh’No.

    A few years back – he’s mad you know – he flogged the lot to Sony at a healthy profit. Michael also sat in on all his contract negotiations and drove some of the hardest bargains in the music industry.

    As mad as a bag of frogs he was – how convenient for court cases.

    Meantime, maybe the rear gunner Elton John will re-release Candle in the Wind for Wacko, who was seen yesterday outside a gas station in Witichta with another gaggle of young white males.

    “And it seemed to me you lived your life
    Like a Jordy Chandler in the wind.
    Never knowing who to pay off
    When the state police were called in.”

    Michael Jackson, Gary Glitter with money.

  63.  

    I wonder how many of us will have a moments silence from the U.S. Congress or mention in the Japanese Parliament on our passing? As for those shouting Pervert ever heard of a town in New England called Salem?

  64.  

    i believe micheal was killed off my his ex-wife

  65.  

    haha…… retarded site for lonely people with zero popularity and talent….. haha

  66.  

    haha – so what are YOU doing here, Omniscient One?

  67.  

    I see that there’s not much interest in this post anymore, but for those who are still here, and are so sure about what kind of person MJ was, why don’t you see him tell his story for himself? He was such a gentle, shy, kind person off stage, regardless of what he did onstage. This should keep you busy for a while (if you’re interested in more than just spouting hateful statements):

    Grammy Tribute to MJ Part 4 (1993)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0Ei7_10s18

    Michael Jackson 20/20 Special – The man and his music 08/08
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmBvb1XP1YA

    20/20 Special – MICHAEL JACKSON (2009) – 1/5
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yjM_bj7FpA&feature=related

    Living with Michael Jackson (part 1/10) DVD Quality. (2002-3)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7RDCDLLIm8

    Michael Jackson Interview With Barbara Walters (Part 1)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRV_zpRiyqc

    Michael Jackson interview- Geraldo (2005) pt.1/5
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dI46XY8S9E

    Michael Jackson interview with Oprah PART 1/8
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-QDXO1TsUo

    This is Congressman King’s recent libelous criticism against the world’s “overreaction” to MJ’s death:

    Congressman Peter King [NY]: Stop Coverage of Child Molester
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RmneMDZlWQ

    And this is one of many responses and defenses:

    Whoopi Goldberg defends Michael Jackson against Republican Peter King’s Salacious Comments
    short version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KfZ4gTi8Jk
    long version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxNGQEY1heM

  68.  

    MJ really murdered? Bock’s right? How did he know?

    http://www.people.com/people/package/article/0,,20287787_20289401,00.html

    “Michael was murdered,” LaToya claims in an exclusive interview with London newspaper the News of the World.

    “We don’t think just one person was involved in the murder,” she added, refusing to name the people she believes are responsible for the death during her four-hour interview in L.A. “It was a conspiracy to get Michael’s money.”

    According to LaToya, Jackson himself always feared for his life. “A couple of years ago Michael told me he was worried that people were out to get him,” she told the paper. “He said, ‘They’re gonna kill me for my publishing. They want my catalogues and they’re gonna kill me for these.’ ”

    (it’s eerie how much he made himself look like his sister in the picture there.)

    ——————————————————————————-

    http://www.examiner.com/x-11425-Philadelphia-Celebrity-Headlines-Examiner~y2009m7d13-Latoya-Jackson-talks-about-murder-conspiracy-theory

    and a lot more, if you search “michael jackson murder conspiracy”…

  69.  

    Or Death Hoax??

    http://www.michaeljacksonhoaxdeath.com/

    “ALL THE PROOF WE NEED TO KNOW MICHAEL JACKSON IS ALIVE !!!! PLEASE READ !!!!

    This is all PROOF MICHAEL JACKSON IS NOT DEAD !!!”

    Some of it is a little forced, but…

  70.  

    And they said I was talking nonsense …

    Spooky.

  71.  

    Chief,
    Yae’v bin pokin about with the bloomin time portal agin, haven’t yae?

    I told ye the bloomin thing is experimental till I get Jonesy aff the drink. Theres aenly room fer ain drunkard at a time on this ship.

  72.  

    Finally – someone who writes with a real Irish accent!

  73.  

    So who REALLY did it, Bock? Come on…

    (Geek – leave him alone!)

  74.  

    Jacko wasn`t murdered…he died of food poisoning.from swallowing a 12 year old wiener.

  75.  

    The site wasn’t far wrong. Jackson was done in CNN is just after reporting. The coroners reports says it was homocide. Where’s Bubble anyone? T”was either him or the butler.

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