Prayer is a wonderful thing. It uplifts and separates. It refreshes the parts of the soul drugs cannot reach. It is truly a gift from Above.
That’s why I’ve decided to offer a new service on Bock the Robber: Pray Per Click.
The concept is very simple. I’ve set up twin Pray supercomputers in Antarctica, each having three christabytes of main memory and quadruple 98-halohertz praycessors.
For a small donation (let’s say 50 cents), using PrayPal, you can generate a random prayer and have it emailed to an unlimited number of devotional web-grottoes, which I will also set up.
You can send it to virtual Lourdes, Medugorje on line, cyber-Fatima or any Knock of your choice, but it doesn’t end there.
Selecting from a drop-down list, you can choose your denomination. If you’d prefer something Muslim, that will be a simple and ecumenical matter. We’ll email it to magnetic Mecca for you.
If a mantra is more to your taste, we’ll do a worldwide silent cyber-hum.
You want something Jewish already? Maybe today, maybe tomorrow. Who knows?
You’d prefer Anglican? Well, there’s room for all shades of opinion.
So how will all this work?
Very simple. I’ll be putting a button on the front page that you can click, and using your PrayPal account you can donate 50 cents or a euro. Or a dollar. Or a dinar. Or an e-shekel. I don’t mind.
Then you select a prayer-theme from a simple pop-up menu.
Once you’ve donated to our church-building fund and selcted the theme, our two Pray supercooled supercomputers will generate a random and unique prayer which will be broadcast to space in all known languages as well as Java and Cobol, and emailed to the recipient of your choice.
What could be simpler?
Here’s my advice to you. Pray early, pray often.
Praise the Lord and send me the money.