Aug 092009

Sorry?  What?

Bertie Ahern is writing a weekly sports column for the Sunday World, did you say?

No.  I’m afraid not.  It’s worse. He has a column with the News of the World.

What’s wrong with this picture?

Well, the first thing is the word writing.  After all, this is a guy who has trouble scratching an X on a rock to sign his name, so how he could write a column is beyond me.  This cretin is functionally illiterate.

What a fucking arsehole.  This slithery reptile, whose election slogan in 2002 was A lot done, more to do, jumped ship when he realised that the economy was going down the toilet thanks to his stupidity, because of course, it’s perfectly possible to be stupid and cunning at the same time, as Ahern proves to the world.

A moron.  This  venal, grasping moron, in the pockets of the same property developers who have delivered three generations of Irish people into ruin, is now writing a sports column?

As somebody said to me this evening, Bertie’s column talks about Meath players swarming around the Mayo goal.  But not much talk from Bertie about the IMF swarming around the Irish economy.

No indeed.

Oh, hold on.  Wait a minute.  What am I saying?  Does anyone think this fool is actually writing the column? Are you mad?  No sane paper would trust this fool with his own column.  The whole thing is written by a fourteen-year-old copyboy, obviously, on the eminently logical principle that at least the 14-year-old can read and write, which is more than you can say for  Bertie, the idiot we allowed to crash our economy into a cliff.

For fucksake.

This is the fool we elected to run our government, and yes, you did see me saying We, even though I never, ever put my mark next to these eejits in a polling station, but yes, we, as a people, elected this fucking fool.  And now here he is again, putting his name to a sports column in a weekly newspaper.

Come on.  Gimme a break!

Boycott the fucking rag.  Boycott it, or bend over and take your punishment if you don’t, because if you support this shit you deserve everything NAMA is going to do to you.

You deserve the health cuts and the education cuts.  You deserve less policing, less security, worse roads, worse public transport.

All these things will come about, to pay for NAMA, and don’t ever forget that it was Bertie Ahern’s stupid gobshite policies that brought the catastrophe down on your head.

Don’t ever forget it: this is the gobshite who caused the current economic catastrophe.  Bertie Ahern, The Journalist Corner-Boy.

Go on.  Read him, and then pay up happily to bail out the banking fuckers who bought him, body and soul.


Here’s the prick in a box.

  29 Responses to “Bertie Ahern Writes Sports Column For News of the World”

Comments (27) Pingbacks (2)

    I concur.

    The emergence perhaps of Boycott the Sunday World on FaceBook? It isn’t even worth calling a newspaper anyway.


    Is it the Sunday World or the News of the World the wretch is writing for?


    You’re right. News of the World. Text duly modified.


    Ironically, the NOTW, will flog papers because of their new signing, mainly because people will buy same because they hate the fuck, a clever move by the above. So Bertie, a devout Man U fan, what’s happening for next weeks column; maybe Michael Owen, the fucking injury prone cripple, you’ll tell us that it was a masterstroke by Ferguson to sign him. No it wasn’t. I’ll herby predict that Owen will be warming the bench for most of the upcoming season. His pace is gone, that’s all he ever had in the first place. All he’s interested in is fucking horses anyway. Maybe you’ll write about the Dublin Gaelic football team again – editors note, over one million people living in Dublin, any auld bollocks will do. How about Stephen Ireland, who buried a gaggle of grandmothers in the space of a week, only to find that the inconsiderate fucks did a Lazarus – on the sports pages – and were alive and kicking. Ireland, a mad bastard, who refuses to play for his country but who instead opts to line out every week for the perennial under achievers at Eastland’s, who are now bankrolled by a Sharia Law loving Sheik, pouring petro dollars poured into his latest hobby in the arsehole of England – Manchester, so much to answer for. It beats shagging camels, anyway. Maybe Michelle Smith, who, in between, allegedly, containing urine samples with Jack Daniels, still claims her gold medals were legit. Yeah, right, Michelle. Before the 96 Games, the only way an Irish swimmer could win Olympic gold was if you unleashed a hammer head shark into their lane, and there you were beating the world, and Bill Clinton, the langer with the body, over touching you up. The world is your oyster Bert, so many things for you to ponder as you sip your pint of bass at your local, like why the country is fucked. Only in Ireland. In any other country this bollocks would be arrested and jailed for treason. In Ireland he gets to write a sports column.


    Bollocks fucked up this country for the next who knows how many decades, anywhere else he’d be doing time. Here the most cunning of them all gets yet another handy job, one which ensures his altar-boy looks are facing you every Sunday – not that I ever have or ever will buy that arse-wipe anyway – so that the image of the man who has bankrupted a generation as yet unborn will stare back at you as you buy a proper paper.

    More laughable than this effort though is the news that up to recently this semi-literate and inaudible idiot was charging people to listen to his diatribes on de of Da dede Celtic T.t.t.t…iger.


    contaminating above, ref Smith


    It kinda says it all really, like did you expect the Indo or Times to fellate his wallet region?


    Nobody should be surprised by Bertie writing a sports column for that shit rag of a paper. He’s just doing what he’s always done, taking the fucking money. He doesn’t give a flying fuck whether it comes from a property developer, a plasterer, or a shit newspaper. The man doesn’t have any shame or principals.
    After all, this is the “newspaper” that he would have called the gutter press when it ran stories about him,
    but his eyes glaze over when theres dosh to be grabbed.
    And you’ll still see his ugly mug smiling from the front pages as long as there’s local gobshites patting him on the back and thanking him for for giving us all a right good shafting.


    Bertie? Why do we call him that?

    It’s too friendly.

    Why don’t we call him Incompetent-Thieving-Fucking-Crook-Bastard?


    Economy- Doesn’t sound so friendly now.


    Any link to the article? Was this the week AFTER the Dubs got their collective arse handed to them by a second rate Kerry team – he was even too cowardly to get into the game after that one. A true Cu Chullain in our midst.


    Link to his article? Jesus no. This bastard fucked our economy for all time. Will I give him free publicity as well?


    I was there the day his daughter received her degree in journalism from Griffith College, Daddy was handing out the degrees & stuff and gave a speech re the responsibility these newly qualified journalist types had taken on. He rattled on about how important proper & intelligent journalism was and how it benefitted the state to have a vigilant press etc etc.
    He then went mental everytime some journalist wrote anything that portrayed him as the self serving slimey little cunt that he is & now he has taken a job with the lowest of the low when it comes to journalism. This should not come as a surprise considering he ran a party that was full of the same lowest of the low slimey cunts & he was the most cunning cunt of all. What a complete and utter bollox, thank fuck he’ll never get to write about Dublin’s All Ireland win, cause they’re shite too, CUNTS all of ’em.


    Hard to disagree with you there.


    The funny thing is, Berties daughter qualified in Journalism & then wrote crap fiction!, so she is def qualified to write for the News of the World.
    I would suspect she inherited her fathers gift for shit fiction, anyone who heard his evidence at the tribunal would no doubt agree that it was both shit & Fiction.


    Do you know where Bertie Ahern’s daughter qualified in journalism and what the specific qualification was?


    Im alughing reading this, i mean he didnt know anyhing about;
    The economy
    the real world
    the public
    the shit storm he created
    brown envelope contents:p

    Great so now he knows about “Sport” the country is saved:p


    this man is a money hungry little twat with the morals of an alley cat


    Anyone remember what the bollocks said lately? He said he gave everyone in Ireland a house. Or is that e e e e everyone a a a a h h h h h house. Wake up Bertie and stop making yourself sound more stupid than people already know you are. Let me finish the sentence for you without the stuttering I gave everyone in Ireland a house that they can’t pay for now because of all the soft money I got from the developers to make houses dear by rezoning land. I didn’t vote that fool in not even back in 97 when the idiot got in first. A lot of people fell for his plamásing bullshit and kept voting him in. What pisses me off is how the bollocks bailed out before things got really bad and left rubber lips take over his mess.


    If I ever get near that smug little bollocks I will personally give him a good kick in the nuts and give him a reason to stutter.


    Bertie,,,,,,,,,,,,Isnt this the JERK that had a serious memory problem? How the fuck can one be a journalist if you are a stupid senile motherless fucker with a distinct inability to retain information and remember it? So the bastard can retain Gaelic scores, which are vitally important. Clearly, more important than remembering where one happened to acquire TEN GRAND or from who!

    In my opinion, this dickhead spent lots of his time on the piss in Fagans or quaffing champagne in the tent in Galway and this must account for his loss of memory. I suggest that since the developers have gone to Marbella and have brought the free champers with them, Bertie has been able to abstain from free champers and has miraculously recovered from his amneasia. That is one theory. Another theory is that he is just a no good slithery fucker. His ex-wife is not his ex-wife for nothing you know….She had the measure of him and she had the drop on all of us.


    At the moment I feel that Bertie was the main culprit for Ireland’s economic collapse. Poor Brian Cowen strikes me as possibly having been one of Bertie’s yes men – not an impressive politician.

    Bertie is probably the best politician of our generation – how else do you collapse a country and not become hate figure number one. But I wish he had been a great leader and not a great politician.

    Credit where credit is due, it seems to me he played the peace process in the north very well

    He may go down in history alongside Cromwell as one of those individuals that caused most suffering in Ireland – how many will die as a result of the depression we are in?


    Sean he shouldn’t get sweet fuck all credit for the peace process Albert was the man that done the work with that, the beady eyed bollox took over from him and simply signed it in and tried to get all the credit for it.


    J J J J J Jayus B B B Brian looks l l l l lilke these p p p p people are after c c c c copping on to me.


    I have, ever since becoming a prude in my early twenties, steadfastly boycotted the News of the Screws (as Private Eye describes it) as it does not match de Valera’s aesthetic standards, failing to print pictures of comely colleens dancing at the crossroads. Now with the recent addition of ghosted sports writing by a former statesman of dubious skills in the management of personal finance I have a second grave reason to continue the boycott. May I commend alternative readings for the edification of culturally disillusioned visitors to this weblog? Try the Sacred Heart Messenger (recommended by Mary Kenny) and the Medjugorje Herald. They carry no distasteful soccer reports.


    [comment edited to remove defamatory statements] bertie ahern should be in jail ,,charlie haughys apprentice (you remember him a thief and a liar who was given a state funeral at the expense of the irish taxpayer ) corruption is the cornerstone of the political and banking system in the republic (said but a fact )


    Anyone who thinks that Bertie deserves credit for anything – other than totally screwing us all – has fallen for the hype.
    Peace in the North? Is there peace in the North? Anyone been up there recently?
    Regular murders, regular bomb scares, regular road and rail closures.
    When I say regular I mean every week, at least once.
    Temporary smiling at each other with Bertie and Blair isn’t real peace.

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