Knock Virgin Mary Apparition

 Posted by on October 28, 2009  Add comments
Oct 282009
 

They’re at it again.

Just when we thought the Holy Tree Stump had faded away, there’s a big crowd of mumbling gobshites standing out in a field in Knock staring at the sun.

Staring at the sun.  And these people expect to be taken seriously.  What do they do when they’re not praying to the sun – do they stand in a field pointing at aeroplanes?  Do they hold vigils for condemned prisoners?  Does their family tree branch?

Get up there, John-Joe and have a good long stare at the sun.  Burn out your little retinas, why don’t you?  That’s a great lad.  Now what do you see?

I see flashin’ lights Mama.

Well, that’ll be the Blessed Holy Virgin, Our Lady of the Tree Stump, up there in the sky like a great big holy chair-o-plane, whirlin’ around just the same as at the seaside.  Can ya see that?

No, Mama.  All I can see is flashin’ lights, an’ I’m not even lookin’ at the sky no more.  I has my jumper over my head Mama. There’s flashin’ lights in here too Mama.

Ah well, that’ll be Our Blessed Lady ticklin’ yer brain, John-Joe.  It’s the Miracle of the Brain-Ticklin’ Virgin.

There’s no end to it, is there?

All these fucking idiots staring at the sky, making themselves blind, burning out their video cameras and calling it an apparition.  There are better ways to go blind.

Did you hear this astral plank, Joe Coleman, who calls himself a clairvoyant?  Worse, Joe is described as a clairvoyant by our national broadcaster RTÉ without the slightest irony.  A broadcaster that has no difficulty accepting as fact the existence of clairvoyants and other charlatans. The same broadcaster in this secular society whose news presenters  refer casually to an entity known as Our Lady.

Joe is the guy who recalled I was in hospital having an operation – I broke my ankle – and I died under anaesthetic. I left my body and I went to heaven, where I saw my father who had passed away, and my son, and Our Lady and Jesus and Archangel Michael.

Ah, right, Joe.  Well, look, just leave your number and we’ll keep it on file.  Thanks.

Joe is whipping up the frenzy by predicting appearances of the Blessed Light-Refraction.  Joe, incidentally, charges requests a voluntary €60 donation for a reading where he tells you a load of things he saw when he visited your astral plane and spoke to your guardian angel.  Readings last about an hour, which isn’t bad, is it?  €60 an hour for talking shite to people who want to believe you.

If I took up that line of work, I estimate I could make about €350,000 a year  just by talking shite 16 hours a day, but Joe occasionally takes a break from talking shite, and just talks plain nonsense instead, as he did when he told the Mayo News : I have seen her twice in recent months in the Gable chapel at Knock. The statue comes alive, she opens her arms, a lovely pink cloak comes around her, there are stars above her head, she turned into Jesus, then to Padre Pio and then back to herself. While the vision is happening, I can see nothing else in the chapel.

So the statue comes alive, does it?  And it turns into Jesus?  And then it turns into Padre Pio, with an option on Mother Teresa and a selection of Popes including a Coptic one.

Animation3Great.  It’s worse than we thought, Cap’n.  We used to have moving statues, and crying statues, but now we have shape-shifters.  What next – will the statue turn into a chest-burster? Or a Terminator?

You put your left leg in.  Your left leg out.

Where is this going to stop?  Will it turn into fucking Bono singing a selection of Johnny Cash favourites?  Or maybe it will become Brian O’Driscoll and dive over the line for a great last-minute try.  Or Usain Bolt.  Maybe it will turn into Usain Bolt and race around the church, with one hand holding its robes around its waist, in three seconds flat.  The Miracle of the Holy Hundred Metres.  Jesus, that was rough, says the statue as it slowly morphs into Bob Marley, chilling with a spliff.  The Miracle of the Blessed Doobie.

I hear Louis Walsh’s people are negotiating with the Virgin Mary about a European tour, and it’s rumoured that she’s going to appear as a guest panellist on the X-Factor, but that’s not confirmed yet, given her other commitments.

As her spokesman, Padre Pio, commented, You can’t be in two places at once. Well, all right, I can, but you know what I mean.

Actually, Pio is only half right, but he doesn’t speak for all the Our Ladies – only Our Lady of Knock.  We also have to remember Our Lady of Lourdes, Our Lady of Fatima, Our Lady of Guadelupe, Our Lady of Perpetual Succour, Our Lady of Czestochowa, Our Lady of The Roses, Our Lady of Siluva, Our Lady of Sorrows, Our Lady of Medjugorje.  Our Lady of Weight Loss.

Jesus, they’re like the Nolan Sisters. I’m in the mood for trancing …

Imagine if they all turned up at the same time, demanding separate dressing rooms and limos.  Booking them all for a gig would cost a fortune though and anyway, one of them is enough for a good show.  Our Lady of the Declining Balance.

For fucksake, what’s wrong with these people?

Staring at the sun.  You know what?  I’m going to call myself a clairvoyant like Joe Coleman, and I’m going to tell them you’ll see the Virgin Mary if you eat forty magic mushrooms, fried with bacon and eggs, and a nice bit of toast.  The Miracle of the Fungal Fry-Up.

Give me strength!  For once, I find myself entirely in agreement with an archbishop, Michael Neary, who said This is a load of bollocks, or words to that effect.

I was passing through Knock a few years ago on the way to Donegal and I stopped for a look at the basilica, and the thousands of stalls selling little Virgin Mary statues and underwear and kinky stuff.

I thought maybe they might miracle up an old apparition or something.

Do you know what I reckon they have in the Basilica, now that I think about it? I’d say they have a Stargate. I’d say they go to planets with names like P5C-768 where they meet and converse with new and interesting people. And kill them.

In real life, the SG-1 team are constantly finding themselves in caves where fuckers pop up out of tables and stone walls and the like to deliver some sort of Hail Stranger speech, and after a while they realise it’s a hologram put there by the Ancients, or some other crowd. So I think these people who saw the Virgin Mary were either

1. Very drunk
2. Very stoned
3. Both of the above
4. Members of SG-1.

I have to admit, I wasn’t entirely up to speed on the Knock story, and I had to look up the details, so let me just bring you up to date, in case maybe you’re a little hazy on the subject, like me. The apparition took place on the evening of August 21, 1879. Two women, going home in the rain, passed by the back of the town church, where, against the wall, stood Mary, St. Joseph, St. John the Evangelist, and an altar with a lamb and a cross on it. The women called more people who all saw various things. One boy even saw angels flying around the altar. Interestingly, the figures didn’t speak to the people, gave no message, and didn’t identify themselves.

Here’s the photo the villagers took:

Knock shrine

OK. Where are we going here? This kind of thing happens in just about every Irish town in the middle of the night to an increasing number of people. It’s happened to me. Twenty years ago I saw the Red Army’s tanks hiding behind a ditch after a wedding. I saw bouncers in the disco made of wax! I saw nuclear fallout on the pavement outside the chip-shop.

What I’m trying to say is, don’t tell me hallucination, already. I KNOW hallucination!! What I don’t know, however, is how the fuck anyone could identify St John the Evangelist. Did they have his  passport photograph?

Look Mary – there’s an apparition at the back wall of the church.

– Well, Mary, so it is. And that beautiful European-looking woman in the blue rig-out must be the Queen of Heaven.

– It must surely, Mary. And that European-looking fellow with the spokeshave and the gimlet must surely be St Joseph.

– That’s right, Mary, and look at the lovely coffee table he’s making. But who’s the other European-looking chap?

– Oh, Mary, don’t you know by the gimp of him he has to be someone important. ‘Twouldn’t surprise me if he was the man who wrote the very Bible itself.

– Do you mean deValera, Mary?

– No, Mary. He isn’t born yet.  I’d say ’tis the beloved apostle himself. And can’t you see ’tis tattooed on his forehead for all the faithful to behold? Saint John the Evangelist, it says, clear as day.

– Well, Mary, isn’t that a caution, entirely?

‘- Tis, Mary. Run up to the pub now and call down all the people till they get a good look at this. Its like won’t be here again.

– That’s a grand European-looking goat they have up there on that European-looking altar, Mary.

– Oh, Mary, that’s a little European-looking lamb, what ails you at all at all?

Experts have pointed out that Knock is so important because it’s the only place the Lamb of God has appeared to ignorant peasants.  Normally, when ignorant peasants or hysterical children witness something, it’s a woman who just happens to look exactly like a figure in a stylised picture on their kitchen wall, but not this time.

No indeed. This time, the ignorant peasants in a century without public lighting, in a downpour of rain, saw a fucking sheep.  The Sheep of God.  It’s just as well they didn’t see the Hounds of God, or the Cattle of God.  We’d never hear the end of it, though now that I reflect, we don’t ever hear the end of it anyway.

Look.  It’s the Duck of God!

Depressing.

As I said at the time, fuck it, let’s leave Knock behind where it belongs.  Good luck to them if they think they’ll find a miracle cure there. I spoke to a man that year who fought back against a major illness, and he didn’t need to see Saint John the Evangelist. He only needed to see his son achieving wonders on the field of sport, and feel as proud as a man can be.

So what exactly is a miracle, and since when did the Catholics take it over?

Actually, let’s take that a step further.

Are these people Catholics, or are they obeying the primitive urges of a deeper, atavistic, cave-dwelling superstition?  Are they reverting to a primal form?

It’s not that I’m defending Catholicism.  It’s just that, by any standards, what we’re witnessing in Knock is primitive idolatry, and a kind of behaviour that the same people would sneer at if they saw it on National Geographic.

We’re looking at pure superstition here, stripped of all trappings of theology and it just goes to prove that the caveman is never far below the surface.

These fuckers will believe anything.

Cowen and Lenihan must be delighted.

_____________

I shot my own video of the sun and uploaded it as a miracle to Youtube  HERE.

The abuse has started already.  Check out the comments.

______________

Also: The Rise of the Idiots

Elsewhere

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  123 Responses to “Knock Virgin Mary Apparition”

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  1.  

    Great Stuff Bock

  2.  

    why are you so angry? what are you afraid of? I am not a religious person. I am a sceptic. But out of pure curiousity went to Knock on 11 October with two friends both of whom slagged me all the way down in the car.
    what we saw left us dumstruck. We saw the sun flash in and out of the clouds, turn matallic grey with a black ring and other colours around the sun. It started to flash periodically in equal sequences for a full 15 minutes. Two images appeared. We video taped it and have been watching it ever since. When we play back the video we see two faces one similar to an image that would be known as Our Lady in historical pictures and the other is Padre Pio. We have had sleepless nights since. We still have the video and my other friend has her standard photo which clearly shows crosses in the sky.

    Laugh all you want. We know what we saw. We know what at least 2,000 people saw. So if you were not there you have no right to laugh at the rest of us. It is definitely something paranormal.

    yeah I know it sounds ridiculous and I suppose I cant blame you – I probably would have had the same reaction if I had not been there. I am going to Knock this coming Saturday 31 Oct for the predicted second apartiion – this one is supposed to be a physical manifestation of Our Lady so will let you know what happens. Unless you want to see for yourself? You seem so passionate about your views why not go see for yourself? If nothing happens then have another laugh.
    sharon

  3.  

    Sharon…I think guide dogs for the blind have enough to do without you increasing their workload with the advice you are giving.

  4.  

    Not giving advice. Just telling you as it is. If I had not been there in person I would have probably been more insulting than you are. Go on I dare you – go down and see for yourself. if nothing else you can have a good laugh at the sincere people who will be there in their thousands next Saturday. Have fun.

  5.  

    Bock, I swear you are a source of increasing bewilderment in me. Why at least can they not mention Darth Wader then I will take notice. During the summer nights here in the north we see all kinds of things in the forests. Last summer in Lofoten at two in the morning the sun belting down on me and me staring at a fjord below for hours and then it happened, a bunch of gobleens arose from the water and poked fun at me. You may ask what is a “Gobleen”? it is a word I myself have invented and am proud of it. A Gobleen is a small Gobshite. Anyway I received a good trouncing from them but gave as good as I got. Eventually they tired of kicking the shite out of me and returned to the waters of the fjord. My happieness was complete at discovering a bottle of Highland Park which was left behind by the Gobleens ( lovely word) . That night I met Stalin and he held a 2 hour speech on his 5 year plan. We had our own 23 party congress and never have I been happier. Then he turned me over to Beira for deportation to Siberia. Apparitions? Who needs Knock.

  6.  

    i was at knock, there was a miracle, it came from god. get over it u angry bitter little man

  7.  

    Bock, the gobleens have invaded and multiplied.

  8.  

    I was in Knock myself once and witnessed a miracle. I came home sober after 10 pints- now that was some miracle! At least I think I was sober.

  9.  

    What miracle Tom ? Can you desribe the happening in it,s entirety.

  10.  

    i was there also sharon and saw exactly what you saw. cant make it on saturday but would loved to have been able to go. that angry bitter little man “bock??!!” should go. rare boy if you ask me. i think you are right, he is afraid. must have done something awful in the past to be so afraid. i thought it was amazing and i think it gives the people something to keep them going.

  11.  

    Baaaaaaaaaaa

  12.  

    Help. It’s an invasion of blind lunatics.

  13.  

    Ah Bock, go aisey will ya.
    Who are these people?
    Blind Faith?
    Opus Dei?
    Knights of Mayo branch of Bord Failte?
    All quite reasonable!

  14.  

    i was at knock, there was a miracle, and it was from god.so get over it, you angry bitter little sad boys

  15.  

    Tom, you said that already. Are you blind?

  16.  

    Bock this serves you right. You gave it “legs” and a foroum.

  17.  

    Anyway I beleive everyone has the right to his or her apparition, be it the Virgin Mary or Padre Pio or Stalin or Gobleens, (What do you think of the quality of that word Bock?) All apparitions are of equeal worth. None should be disriminated. I could report my apparition to the blasphemy council if some one defames it or pokes fun at it. It was a relegious experience on that mountain top that night. I,ve never been the same again. Beira was a terrible man to meet. The Gobleens I could manage but Stalin, what a boy. At the 23 rd party congress I stopped applauding first and that was a mistake as Beira wrote down my name and of I went to Siberia. Highland Park I will never touch again.

  18.  

    “We saw the sun flash in and out of the clouds, turn matallic grey with a black ring and other colours around the sun. It started to flash periodically in equal sequences for a full 15 minutes.”

    So, let me get this straight… a UFO appeared at Knock? But was it actual destined for Knock or was it a stop over on the way to Guantanimo?

  19.  

    While I,m at it who could possibly win anything by launching a relegious fever in the form of an apparition. I mean those people who see these things do they belong to the wealthy class. Why do only poor people running about with buckets in rural settings be prone to such attacks. Do billionaires have apparitions?. What would be the consequences of that?.

  20.  

    I knew putting the clocks back an hour last weekend would be the start of something bad.

    Anyway the good news, its sunny next Saturday according to Opus Dei Met Service. Now if only we can sort out the front row, as well as managing Paul O’Connell’s physical manifestation problems and ROG’s lethargy by 5 o’clock maybe we can beat the Orangemen at a sun blessed Thomond Park.

    Surely all the our ladies will be happy enough with that rather than be bothered performing any CERN-type sundancing trickery over the Knock USAF base for the party faithful!

  21.  

    has anyone seen footage of the sightings at knock? is there anything on youtube?

  22.  

    Loads. Look up Knock apparition

  23.  

    Hey look, if Brian Lenihan and Brian Cowen can see a property recovery, I say let the ordinary people alone.If a Bishop starts telling you porkies, like they do regularly about their knowledge of child abuse, then go for the jugular.
    But don’t be too hard on ordinary people. Yes, parading the bones of some dead person around as relics is wrong. But that is the Church’s doing (backed by Opus Dei business people). To offset the bad PR of child abuse. But moving statues? Apparitions? There are definitely phenomenae that we can only inconclusively judge.
    We could say that its a scam to generate revenue but then all media work, including this (although I don’t see many ads and sponsors Bock (too offensive, teenage angsty perhaps?) tend to leverage off of this sort of thing to produce vital revenue for themselves.
    So, we’re all in it together it would seem, as we write and react to this article .So go easier on people’s needs and reputations and just let it roll. See what happens Bock.

  24.  

    Ruairi — Most ordinary people, in my experience, are not demented. These people in Knock are batshit crazy.

  25.  

    Sufficient numbers of crazies can make demands which are usually crazy and expect all others to toe the line. We have seen it before.

  26.  

    :-D Bock, I’ll give you this, your mock anger is very f**kin funny (at times, but quite good in this post).

    Yes, I’m on the fence on this one. But bathshit (woops batshit!) crazy could be spot on by Saturday night! Just so long as you sock it to the Bishops too please. Apparently, if it doesn’t come through them, it ain’t official (crazy). Its just plain old batshit crazy.

  27.  

    Is Mr. Pio a new kid on the block around those there parts, or has he celestial being hanging around for awhile now?
    Surely the regulars are fluttering around muttering vague and unreasonable utterances to each other in passing, such as, “Would you look at the cocky stance of him. And, he’s bleedin’ all over the shop!”
    Look at anything long enough and it’ll eventually start some kind of peripheral movement. In fact Klaus has been staring at me while mouthing unheard obscenities for the last 4 minutes.
    Is this only an Irish thing? Or more importantly maybe, is this only a catholic thing? Does it happen in other religions around this wonderfully diverse planet we all fumble and stumble our way around?

  28.  

    Thousands of Blind Fianna Failers can see NAMA working, doesn’t make them clairvoyants, just cunts. Knock I can genuinely accept, It’s this Joe Coleman fucker I’d have issue with, another self serving cunt, although if I’m wrong about this, I apologise unreservedly.

  29.  

    Elaborate, please, I implore you. What is it about Knock that you can accept?

  30.  

    Don’t take the brown acid!

  31.  

    Having spent years trying to persuade Northern Prods that people down here aren’t into medieval superstition, I don’t know why I bothered.

    There aren’t any ‘historical pictures’ of Mary. She was Jewish – she wouldn’t have looked anything like the medieval images. Her cult dates from medieval times, it has nothing to do with biblical times. Anyone with half an ounce of critical faculty can check the stuff for themselves. What next? That there is a direct line from the present Pope back to Saint Peter? Show me one shred of historical evidence!

    Anyone who stares at light for long enough will begin to see things move, that’s called science not revelation.

  32.  

    Bock you sinner how dare you denounce something that no proof has been given for, its called faith because it only works if you fall for it. Next you’ll say there is no Santa.

    I went to Knock and saw the sun which in itself was a miracle, I also saw a load of pedos and Mary bothering tinkers.

    Now if Venus pops out of the sea and says she is the original Mary or Spartacus and goes on Oprah with full DNA test you’ll be eating this post with yer humble pie.

  33.  

    I think that people are being too flippant about all this. I just had a look at this youtube clip that shows the sun peering through the clouds:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcAY9c1Ahf4

    Now, if this happened in any other country, I’d be sceptical. In Ireland, however, the presence of clouds in the sky is a rare occurrence, so there must be some truth in it. I mean, seriously, when do we ever get clouds here? And the patterns being produced are certainly not random ones. If you look at the latter half of the clip you’ll see the outline of what looks uncannily like the island of Australia. There is also a prominent dot on the image that seems to approximate the town of Alice Springs in that land down under. I think that everybody’s being blinded by the truth here. Isn’t it obvious that this is a clue that Our Lady’s next appearance is going to be in Alice Springs? I’d be on the first flight out there, but it doesn’t look like I’ll be off my medication by then

  34.  

    God, and Uri Geller, are watching you. I met Uri in Dublin once. He was just about to unlock our human potential, alas, alas.

  35.  

    Ian — You were wasting your time, but on the other hand, some Northern Prods wouldn’t be a million miles removed from these crazies.

    Knudsen — I know there’s a Santa. Coca Cola and Disney told me so. Did you get a picture of yourself in Knock? A true apparition.

    Pat — You’re right. The shape of the cloud spells out the number of the Beast’s house.

  36.  

    “What is it about Knock that you can accept?”

    I can accept the faith side of it, the fact that the real pilgrims here believe the Virgin Mary appeared etc, I have no problem with this, whether it is true or not, the people who come her to pray believe & they are not harming anyone so fair enough.

    Cunts like Joe Coleman I can’t accept..

  37.  

    The belief thing is interesting.

    Supposing all these people thought they could see Elvis?

  38.  

    No real problem with that, would be really interesting if they believed they saw Elvis in Knock

  39.  

    The Queen of Heaven and the King of Rock’n’Roll duetting for the very first time. Thank ya very much!!

    Put your hands together folks.

    (Not you, Pio).

  40.  

    Ah Bock, how do you survive in that country, I mean how do you cope with it all. I could,nt take it but you somehow seem to keep balanced and hold your own against The Gobleens( remember they are little Gobshites). If you need to change juristdiction them wellcome to Norway and it,s dark winters. Can you ski?. We would have to teach you so you can follow me up the mountains and do you have a primus stove?.

  41.  

    Why is it that Hendrix, or Bob Marley, or John Lennon, or Keith Richards never come back. Do you think we could have a chat with Mary to see if she’d be up for redoing Woodstock out in Knock.
    Woodsknock 2010!!!! Now that I’d go to see.

  42.  

    There are grounds for political asylum for you here Bock, as I see it you have benn subjected to dog vomit attacks in Wexford and Dublin (The Bog Ball Attack) NAMA, and now apparitions in Mayo. How much can you take?.

  43.  

    The paranoid, conspiracy-theory part of my mind (normally kept well under control by the medication) wonders if there isn’t some kind of connection between this rubbish and the soon to be published report on clerical abuse in the Dublin diocese. Any betting that self-appointed clairvoyants will be informing us of what herself has to say on the subject?

    Echoing Charles, the reasons to be glad I no longer live in Ireland are increasing all the time.

  44.  

    All I know is your article had me laughing so hard that I fell out of my chair and hit the floor.

    It gave me a nasty Knock.

  45.  

    Maybe we should all head up to Mayo for a game of.. Knock Knock..whos there?!!

  46.  

    Charles — We’re not all like that, but I’ll keep your offer in mind if things turn ugly.

    Fran — I think the connection is to be found in the stupidity of the people who swallow this shit. This is what allowed the Catholic church to get away with the abuse for so long. Idiots.

    Kirk — Sorry about that. I’ll try not to do it again.

    William – Maybe so, but let’s bear in mind that this stupid name was not invented by the Irish.

  47.  

    I repeat again what I saw to every person who text into Today FM/et al about this “apparition” – go out tomorrow during a clear spot, and stare at the sun for 60 seconds. I bet you €100 you’ll see the same or at least a similar “apparition” within close description of any “witness” in Knock that day.

    Now go off and fill your €2 bottles with limescaled water, and tell me why you like NAMA too.

  48.  

    All I have to say is: That can’t be Robert Duvall’s ex-wife in comment 2, can it?? And he’s a Christian Scientist too. (Isn’t that an oxymoron?)

    ::

  49.  

    Robert Duvall, eh? The smell of napalm in the morning.

  50.  

    I’m a bit isolated, in general social terms, So i would sincerly love to know what the fuck is going on in peoples lives on a day by day basis ?
    To be fair to you Bock, your blog contibutes to my question more than any other source.

    I can’t figure out how 2,000 people can stand in a field for hours staring at the sky ?
    I could’nt care less what they are staring at, I would just love to know how they can do it?

    Have to say. I just love the comparison/reference to ” chair o planes ” Wow ! did’nt think anyone remembered those, most dangerous most exhilarating pieces of popular engineering back in the day,
    Getting the adrenaline rush , flying high on a rickity seat bolted to rusty chains, while the world spun beneath you, The perfect metaphor for right here right now.

  51.  

    When referencing Our Lady of Weight Loss, the patron saint of permanent fat removal, why not link to her site?!!
    Thank you!

    Janice Taylor
    Our Lady of Weight Loss

  52.  

    Janice — I don’t link to your site because I don’t feel like it.

    The link you put in your comment has been removed because I’m not in the business of promoting nutcase weight-loss programmes.

  53.  

    Norma…you ask how 2000 people can stand there staring at the sky?.Well as I see it brings together the two things that Einstein said were infinite…..Space and human stupidity

  54.  

    I love Mary’s comment No 10. “i was there also sharon and saw exactly what you saw. cant make it on saturday ”

    So you saw the Virgin Mary appearing in the sky, but you can’t make it next time because … what?

    You have something more important on?

    Oh, right.

  55.  

    Wiliam. Nearly stabbed my eye out with my trusty crowbar while attempting the foolish multitaking of ripping a floor out and re checking the meaning of life via Bock !
    Must replace rotting floor, my mantra, can’t pay someone to carry out destruction, but it is a good excuse to vent, ripping, tearing, fucking it all out the window……………won’t attempt laying of new floor though, I know my limits.
    I’m at a point that i nearly wish i could get a buzz from driving to Knock ( if i knew where it was ) and staring at the sky, i’d nearly chance it…………..fuck it, I would love to be a part of some downright lunacy ! but the problem is the 2,000 don’t think it’s lunacy, so thats no fun !

  56.  

    I have just looked on you tube at the videos posted of the knock apparition. I am speechless with awe! What I saw was the sun shining, looking like the sun always does. Where’s the apparition? Not even a funny shaped cloud. I am (rathkeale) stumped (I failed to see Mary’s face in that either – just tree rings in no unusual formation)! If people are amazed at the sun, perhaps it is Ra they should be praying to . This explains though, how FF keep getting into power.

  57.  

    Elle. You are brave, I was way too reluctant to admit i looked at it too !
    Naw, saw nothing, could’nt figure out the “black dot ” though, was that something on the camcorder or what ? Maybe there was no black dot, maybe that was me, now i’m scared !
    I knew i should’nt have looked.
    How does anyone know what Mary looks like ? surely all people know are the western interpreted pics and statues, or are all Deitys transformed into Western lookeelikees when they re appear in Western Europe ?
    Bob’s words are more relevant now than ever, “Its a hards rain gonna fall ” theres no doubt we’ll be seeing all manner of things, but Virgin Mothers of Prophets, no don’t think so.

  58.  

    Bock,

    The crazies in the North could match the Knock loonies claim for claim, but they wouldn’t speak to a heretic like me, who believes in evolution.

    What is happening is a fairly common social psychological phenomenon where people look for certainties in times of rapid transition. Also, there would be certain fundamentalists who would seize upon anything to deflect attention from the Dublin child abuse report.

  59.  

    Norma…might be better to go there at night, my bet is that the moon will get in on the act soon and it has the stars as a backing group.So all in all it should be a far better show.

  60.  

    to bock and all u lot who think your so witty and are so quick to make fun of peoples faith, i have a question for all of ye and your rapier like wit..what is it like being a crowd of gobshites?

  61.  

    Tom, take it easy, least folk start laughing at you and your flat earthling ways.

  62.  

    I, for one, don’t know, Tom, I’ve never been a crowd of gobshites …

  63.  

    “to bock and all u lot who think your so witty and are so quick to make fun of peoples faith”
    Not people’s faith, their stupidity and gullibility

    “.what is it like being a crowd of gobshites?”
    Go to Knock on Sunday and you’ll find out.

  64.  

    Bock, My love for ireland is only surpassed by contempt for the Gombeens who make it into a country where you feel buried alive. We have a few nut cases here but they seldom get space to put up an agenda to influence the quality of the air we breathe. The last surge of anything similar to what you have in Knock was in the 1850,s and ended up in a farce to the amusement of many and as a subject for historians and play writes such as Strindberg. The last real horse dealers in religion ended op cheering the Nazi party in Germany at the” Anschluss” and sort of ran out of steam at Stalingrad in 1942. They have since layed low and will remain so. I have in my own modest way studied these phenomenae and visited the areas in the central mountains affected by thes horse dealers. One thing I could clearly see was that all the horse dealers in relegion became wealthy and the sheep became poor having been told to sell their farms and hand over the money as they no longer needed them as Jesus was coming soon. It never occured to anyone why they would need the vast amounts of money themselves. So yes it is been used to make money and to deflect attention from” something”. Now Bock I was wondering what size ski shoes would you need and you have to give up the fags and the porter and do exercises when you arise from you slumber, and don.t forget your greens. By the way “Bock” means “Goat” in Swedish and Norwegian.

  65.  

    BOCK you bollix!

    I had to wipe down my computer’s screen. I was merrily reading through the Knock tale while sipping on my constantly present coffee. I was doing fine, laughing and enjoying your twist on this faith of our fathers.

    Fine that is until I got to; ‘It’s the Duck of God!’

    BOCK, I can’t so readily afford to replace my laptop because I’ve mushed it’s chips with suddenly and involuntarily expunged mouthfuls of hot wet coffee, so for feck sake tone it down or at least post a sudden-laugh-attack warning with stuff this funny so I can be prepared and put the coffee mug away until I’ve read what you’ve posted.

    And, I would like a T-shirt with the image of BOCK’S Duck of God on it. Do you have any in your T-shirt store?

  66.  

    Tom I assumed the collective term was a ‘guffaw of gobshites’ not crowd….having sat back and watched a few of the vids on tube of you all I can say is hang on to your wallets and bags as all I definitely saw was a lot of knackers waiting for the opportunity to rob, as ye’ll all be blind for the picking staring up at the sun

  67.  

    Norma,
    In regard to the Chairoplanes, Those beautiful maniacal spinning lumps of metal are still doing the rounds, there was one in evidence at the carnival during the Rose of Tralee festival this summer,
    Must root out the photos to see If I have a shot of it.

  68.  

    ‘It’s the Duck of God!’

    Yep, that’s one of Bock’s best – worthy of Monty Python, that one is.

    I was wondering if they’d have to change that prayer at Mass, “Duck of God, who quacks away the sins of the world …” Maybe they could all try it out in Knock on Saturday.

  69.  

    Norma — The black dot appears when the sun’s rays are focussed by the lens and melt a little spot on the sensor. It’s a quick way to ruin a good camera.

  70.  

    Sharon — If your video and your friend’s photo are so conclusive, why not post them to YouTube and Flickr so we all can be enlightened?

  71.  

    As I was saying, there are a lot of stupid people out there. The key question is how can we make money off of them?

    €60 per hour’s not bad, but it’s a long week’s clairvoyancing. There’s got to be a better way. Our Lady memorabilia, perhaps. For starters, there’s bound to be plenty of post-apparition sex this weekend in Knock. So, for the ladies – Virgin Mary Condoms. For the boys – The Immaculate Contraception (TM) (“Get her up the duff, and leave not a shred of DNA”). For the older man – The Second Coming Pill. For the gays – lots of purple robes, with frilly bits and silly hats. And a whole fucking truck load of horny, closeted gays called Father this and Father that – maybe we could pimp them out for the weekend? Dark glasses, white canes, guide dogs, little dancing sun toys, blow-up virgin dolls, ripped copies of U2’s ‘Staring at the sun’, tickets to Our Lady’s next gig. The possibilities are endless.

    I’m telling you fellas, there are fortunes to be made in Knock. The ‘Our Lady’ brand is well-established, and there are no royalties to pay (although Richard Branson might have some rights to the virgin mary stuff – not sure). And it’s not even illegal – the Church has been at it for years.

  72.  

    Are the Jesus and Mary Chain still playing?

  73.  

    Don’t know, but I think someone’s yanking the Jesus and Mary Chain.

  74.  

    You’ll go straight to Hell Bock.

  75.  

    Thick as a brick

  76.  

    I have been laughing about this all day! But on a serious note there
    was obviously a miracle that day, after all the Sun could be seen shining in Ireland in October!
    Thank you Jeebus!

  77.  

    Thanks for explanation on ” black dot ” silly me thought that must be whats causing the sensation.

    The Geek; Amazing, chairoplanes how retro and nostalgic , did they have a Ryanair logo ?

    Heard about another “apparition ” to-day, apparantly this one does the rounds of shops distributers etc to check the numbers on potatoe bags and to ensure apples, pears etc are all labelled individually, well it is halloween and what if an unlabelled apple or spud escaped and could’nt be traced ?
    Now this person has their apparition status well fenced, they are called ” civil servants ” they are paid app 70 k per annum to check the passports of all fruit and veg, well now i will sleep safe in my bed.

  78.  

    Need to take a pill all.

  79.  

    Calm down, you seem very annoyed, did you go ?, you really cannot comment unless you were there. There are enough things wrong in the world at the moment, why condemn something that seems to be good for a change.
    Maybe you should go yourself, I was there, No one was standing in a field ! My retinas are perfect, I don’t do drugs/alcohol etc.
    There was an apparition in Knock way back in the 1800’s, why cant the same happen again ?

    You seem very interested in this subject for a person that seems to be so negative about it .

  80.  

    I think the previous post is from Dana’s husband.

  81.  

    People are desperate to believe in something.
    There will be a lot more of this kind of thing.

  82.  

    Accusation of anger- check
    Accusation of being ‘negative’- check
    Lack of empirical evidence- check
    Chip on shoulder- check
    ‘Why don’t youism’ -check
    Supernatural claims without foundation -check
    Appeals to openmindedness- check
    BULLSHIT BINGO!
    By Golly Bock, you win! Well, you might have to share the prize with me, but that’s okay too.

  83.  

    I believe that its very possible that certain business interests in Knock, maybe a Hotelier, B&B owners or shop owners etc. paid Mr. Coleman a few bob to whip up this whole apparition thing. They would certainly have got a good return on the investment by now as 15,000 is not a bad crowd! The cash registers will be jingling to the rhythm of the rosary.

  84.  

    I hear they are there in their thousands, oh woe is me. The other day I allso saw an amazing sight. As I was about to drive my twins to school one of them pointed at the edge of the forest. It was misty and the cold air meeting the lake on our farm creates a fog especialy in the mornings. There low and behold stood three huge elks but that is not uncommon but one of them was pure white and blended in with the fog. It was a queer feeling as it slowly moved across the field followed by the two others.” That,s a feckin albino “said one of the twins who is already seasonded as to the way nature works. Now if that white elk had appeared in Knock what would it be called?. White elks are extremly rare but we have science to explain why they are white.

  85.  

    Charles “the white Hind” it is quite famous. I think I heard on the News that there were 50,000 at Knock. As miley would say ”well holey God”

  86.  

    At least the Knock thing gives madness a face, several thousand faces.

  87.  

    Virgin on the ridiculous anyone?

  88.  

    HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA………. (breathe)………..HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAH………. excuse me folks……. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAA

    (snif)……. (Breath)…………. HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

    George Bernard Shaw hit the nail on the head when he said that Ireland is the biggest open air asylum in the world…..

    To all you weird psyco religeous freaks out there: Knowing that there are at least 50 000 of you nut jobs out there….. and that you are sharing this little island with me…. makes my skin crawl….

  89.  

    Calvin I must say the feeling is mutual. Keep up the medication,

  90.  

    I had the misfortune to hear Joe Coleman on radio today. I am of the opinion that the man needs the attention of a psycho Christ.

  91.  

    I heard him myself. The guy is nine beads short of a rosary.

    In most walks of life, people who claim to hear voices receive treatment, but if you say the voice is the Virgin Mary they interview you on Liveline.

  92.  

    Any more of this stuff and I,m off to the mountains again. There I will await the gobleens and have a good rumbling after they knock the shite out of me. Temperature 3,c. Snow on it,s way and my skis are ready. D,oul bottle of blackbush in my rucksack and my sanity intact. Sorry Bock, I leave you for some time.

  93.  

    I have to admit to listening to the Gaduffy Show today. Mercifully it wasn’t summer or I’d have swallowed a swarm of flies.

    To hear this fucking charlatan, go on about having a self-bestowed special relationship status with “our” lady, who it turns out he’s been seeing now for quite a while, was astonishing. Joe Colemans claim that a traveller childs’ blindness was “cured” rated high among a number of miracles allegedly witnessed by him was allowed past without much scrutiny from a patronising audience hungry Duffy, who as usual played up his own Nana’s Boy credentials with some nauseating “ah shure we all have a great devotion to the blessed virgin, etc.” bollocksolgy of his own. How about showing us the kid, or producing evidence from a doctor ? Or would this cure mean the family losing out on some medical benefits so best stay anonymous?

    Mind you, it was enlightening to hear how the manager/keeper of the church described the state of the basilica after the devoted and oh so religious travelers had left the scene. Contract cleaners being brought in to clear up and steam-clean all kinds of shit and detritus. Such devotion and piety was shown that spilt drinks, food and soiled diapers were left for someone else to clear up. Well, it’s their culture ,why change the habit of a lifetime when you’ve seen the Sun do the hucklebuck high over Mayo and put spots on your retina.

    Again though Joooooooooooe Duffy failed to take this fucker to task, allowing him over an hours public airtime to peddle this obvious scam and allow Coleman to berate anyone who failed to agree with him with veiled threats of holy retribution from the mother of Jesus H. Christ, whom he has also met, but only the one time, when he died. Jesus, being a smarter head than Joe Duffy, obviously decided to get this nut off his cloud and sent him back post-haste to Ballyfermot.

    Finally, it was interesting to say the least, to hear Mr. Coleman describe his and the mystic lady’s relationship, more than once, as a “business”. I’ll say it is, probably the only growth one around too.

    Here’s to Ireland’s next millionaire.

  94.  

    Was listening to Joe Duffy today and interesting enough he no longer accepts money!!! near the end of the show a woman rang in and made a good point, he has an invalidity pension and clearly stated that he charged people last year (fact that was agreed to by Joe Coleman when another caller who paid him 40 euros rang in), Correct me please if I am wrong but I thought you were supposed to be unfit for work and because of this you cannot support yourself and so receive the state benifit? Do different rules apply to him because he speaks to “Our Lady”

  95.  

    Charles thou canst go to the mountain . Unless thou art the ring bearer Thor, Wooten and all the God’s shall be displeased. Bring not thy children there, for I fear for their safety .

  96.  

    Hoof — Coleman’s mask slipped when the caretaker from the shrine came on the air. I thought he revealed a little too much of his inner thug. He was only one snarl away from saying “I’ll fuckin get yiz”.

    According to Miriam Lord in today’s IT, many of those in attendance wore mini-skirts, high heels and spray-on tan.

    Snapper — This contributor to Boards.ie claims Coleman charges €60 per “reading”.

  97.  

    Everyone is entitled to there own opinion…… you either believe or you don’t….slaging it off is not acceptable its just a total ignorance, which comes from fear…. yes i can understand the negative comments due to all the corruption in the world… Mother Mary who in my perception is a goddess!
    The Catholic Church has perceived her wrong and they are still at fault….. We are all spiritually connected and this has nothing to do with religion… religion should be wiped out literally…. it has caused nothing but problems…..
    Catholic priests are now against this why?? Because they hold no power or control and this has not done them any favours haha gosh they make me laugh….
    its only time!!! and i think people should start reading alot more on the subject of spirituality especially those who dont yet feel complete with them selves….. even sceptics feel something…

  98.  

    It’s just the sun. You’re staring at the sun, blinding yourself and pretending you see somebody who doesn’t exist.

    You’d laugh at me if I claimed to see Elvis but you think you can see a woman in the sky.

    You’re bonkers!

  99.  

    Religion thrives on ignorance and scientific illiteracy. It is though, an inevitable and essential component of a species that has evolved to become self aware but only for a certain time-span will civilization require religion. As we advance the controlling power that religion once had will be replaced with a new system. The Virgin Mary will eventuallly fade away just as the Flat Earth and the Earth Centered Universe did.

  100.  

    Or maybe the reverse, Jethro. Popeye’s girlfriend is said to have turned into Extra Virgin Olive Oyl.

    And I can see Popeye so it must be true.

  101.  

    Gary, I have no choice but to leave this open asylum for I do fear Knock more than the Gobleens,A bateing( I think it is called so, when you get beaten,help me there Gary) by the gobleens is more accepted by me than being knocked about by Knock charlatans.I shall rise and go now and leave my offsprings on the cental plain. Strong guards will stand watch over my twins whilst I do battle with the Gobleens ( underart av den Irländska Gombeen ej släkt med Hobs) I just threw in a bit of Swedish to confuse the Knock Taliban. Translation: Gobleens are a lower species of the Irish Gobhite nor related to Hobs. Any apparitions on the way will be reported to you. It is with a heavey heart I leave but someone must say stop. Shall I not return then think kindly of me. The mountains are calling their tops in red aglow. Fecken great poetry there Gary. Where is the fecken Bushmills?. Temperature 2 grader( degrees) celsius. Snow on it,s way.

  102.  

    “Gobleens are a lower species of the Irish Gobhite nor related to Hobs”
    Chapeau! for that one Charles.

  103.  

    Can we get back to the apparition debate please Charles & Gary? I’m sure you’ll find some very good Klingon blogs out there if you wish to carry on your current conversation.
    Sorry Bock – I know its your site but its drifting off the subject I think.

  104.  

    Jethro — Let me be the judge of that, thanks.

  105.  

    Not looking forward to going to Heaven if it means I have to live in a concentrated ball of blue matter on the surface of the sun.

  106.  

    Never fear. You won’t be going to Heaven.

  107.  

    Well “holey God” you may now retire Bock hail to the new chairman of the site. The lord Jethro your opinion my opinion and anyone’s opinion are of no consequence .

  108.  

    Ok Bock. Sorry Gary & Charles.

  109.  

    Accepted with thanks

  110.  

    Sorry Jethro, you are right. I do tend to stray. To my defence I put forward the following. My brain has become overheated as reports on the going ons in Knock flow in to my hypofys( the area in the brain regulating highs and lows) Little these days makes sense and my mode of coping is a general attack on the mountains.Sometimes Gary comes to my aid with well meaning advice( don,t bring the ring) I live in splendid isolation here in the north among the elks and bears and just the other day the wolves tore a flock of sheep in our area.The other day a white elk showed itself on the edge of the forest, now should I call that an apparition?, I envy Ireland in so far that it is constantly exposed to a barrage of disarranged ideas. I feel so discriminated as nothing like that happens here, not in the last century. My despair as to the woes of the Gael is fetched from Flann O’Brien,s “The Poor Moth”. Now i,m really straying.Jethro I shall try and confine myself to apparitions but the possibility exists that I may have to take a paus at our local mad house. One mention of apparitions in there will gurantee me a long paus with straight jacket and medication. Now Jethro you would,nt want that would you?. And think how sad Gary would be.

  111.  

    Diane November 2nd, 2009 5:06 pm

    “Everyone is entitled to there own opinion…… you either believe or you don’t….slaging it off is not acceptable its just a total ignorance, which comes from fear….”

    Dear Diane…. You are 100% bang on when you say our comments come from fear…..
    Fear that the madness that was on display at Knock last weekend will spread and infect the minds of more people out there….

    For god / mary / the dancing sungod of knock’s sake, take a good look at yourself! You are not well!!! You need help!

    I hope my fear leads to the darkside….. where there will be no more light apparitions in the sky for fruit cakes to blind them selves with…

  112.  

    Charles my Brother you have found the white stag . A messenger from the otherworld. He has been missing from our sainted Isle for five thousand years. I shall contact Ryan air and arrange flights from Knock to your location .I have no doubt we can negotiate a good percent of the fair with Mick.

  113.  

    No. I would not want that Charles.

  114.  

    Charles: “I envy Ireland in so far that it is constantly exposed to a barrage of disarranged ideas”
    A Nice turn of thought phrase there Charles.
    Could probably only be thought up by someone not living here though, as the resulting confusion for the rest of us, is at times, Gobsmacking.
    A good apparition for your neck of the woods would be for a Nancy Blakes to just appear.
    think Nancy Blakes think Nancy Blakes. {make sure you put in the S at the end though, chuckle}

  115.  

    Paulo I lost you at Nancy Blakes, this is were the limitations of my brain cells makes itself evident. Now if I don,t stick to Knock I,ll have Jethro on me for straying and we don,t want that . At the same time as the gobshiteness in Knock is flaunting it,self on the populace there are those on the east coast at Trinity or some other university in that jackeen infested place actually studying the sun, albeit to understand it,s effect on software in computers. Now you all have to help me get my head around this one. How can a little island produce such an amount of solar gombeen apparitionists whilst at the same time a handfull of boring physicists in a lab on the eastern coast rationally explain what they see not what they beleive they see when studing the sun,s influence on computer software. All this on the same fecken day. The mad house in our municipality is a bastion of normality compared to Knock. They even have an airport there and jaysus it,s a question of time before there is an UFO fever there as well.

  116.  

    dana’s not quite cutting the mustard anymore…

  117.  

    Sir, if the Blessed Virgin Mary had really appeared at Knock on Saturday, the catholic church would have been caught by the goolies, especially if she starting asking the following questions. Why is the Roman catholic church the wealthiest organisation in the world? Why does it need such vast amounts of wealth when there is so much poverty in the world? Why does it ban condoms in Africa when they could help fight the AIDS epidemic? Why do catholic bishops all over the catholic world have to live in palaces? Why, when there is a collection for the poor, do they hand you a box to collect and never give themselves? Why have bishops, with the connivance of the pope in Ireland, America and Australia to name just a few countries, covered up for predatory paedophile priests, brothers and nuns who raped and tortured innocent little children? Why were catholic convents allowed to sell “illegitimate” babies to wealthy Americans? Human trafficking of the worst kind. Why were hundreds of thousands of dead infants denied the right to be buried in consecrated grounds (causing terrible anguish to families )because they were still-born and not baptised? Why did their souls go to Limbo and not Heaven? Why was Limbo abolished? Who abolished Limbo? Why in 1879 when Our Lady “appeared” at Knock and the Parish priest was informed, did he say that “he was too busy to go and see the apparition and he would be down later”? Why were the contradictory statements of the witnesses to the “apparition” lost? Why was the enslavement of black people accepted by the Roman catholic church until Darwin proved that black people were human like us? Why do we still need to baptise babies for the inherited sin of Adam and Eve, when we now know that Adam and Eve never existed? Why, if the pope is infallible did he imprison Galileo for thirty years for contradicting the pope’s ruling that the earth was flat? Why did it take three hundred years for the pope to apologise? Why is there a need for an Irish embassy in Rome ( one of the most opulent houses in Vatican City ) when the Irish ambassador cannot be bothered to call on the Pope and demand to know why Irish bishops gave safe houses to paedophile priests ? Why do Irish tax payers have to pay for this opulent embassy when it serves no function? Why did catholic mothers have to be churched and have the devil cast out after giving birth?There are so many more whys but so few answers. Why was it a sin under Canon Law not to pay our dues to the church but OK to avoid state taxes? The church hopes that all these questions will disappear in time, pay off victims of clerical abuse ( this time the church cannot sell indulgences like they did in the past ) sack a half dozen bishops and everything will be hunky dory. Things will never be the same again, so they can count me out now.
    Yours
    Michael Hogan
    High Rd.
    Thomondgate
    Limerick.

  118.  

    Hmmm. This thread is a good insight into modern irish yob culture. While the jury’s out with me on the apparitions, one thing’s for sure- This country has a lot of dark days to come if this thread is the general consensus, and unfortunately I believe that it is. To get angry because quite a lot of people say that they saw something at the one time does show fear and an inherent cowardliness. Afraid of anything that isn’t tangible, afraid that the world according to you will be disturbed.
    Have we become a sneering, cocky, self-righteous movement of lemmings akin to the braindead English football hooligans of yesteryear? After years of following the Church without question, are we now going to cow-boy style jump onto the anti-religion band-wagon, throwing in daily anti-Church quips because it’s the flavour of the month? Is anti-church the new church? How long before we realise that our new ‘church’ is flawed Have we any integrity as a people to see the wrongdoings of the men of the cloth are the wrongdoings of men? Can we try and fix that?
    Michael Hogan is right in highlighting all the wrongdoings of Rome over the years. These should never be forgotten in attempts to rebuild a church for all. People personally affected by these actions, my father being one, will probably never go back and that’s understandable. Some not personally affected won’t go back and that’s understandable too.
    But the sneering masses who are now in their glee make me sick. The famous Irish humility seems to be dead in the water.
    Sharon Brophy, I commend your bravery-don’t think that I could be as brave, knowing that there are so many thugs in the country and at least I believe that you believe what you saw.

  119.  

    Believing horseshit is what got this country to where it is today.

  120.  

    Well, one man’s horseshit is another man’s treasue:)

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