Nov 222009
 

They’ve started again,  Christmas songs in the supermarkets, as if any of us was feeling good will towards our fellow man.  As if, in fact, our hearts were not consumed by a hollow murderous rage  towards the political and financial boys’ clubs that have bankrupted us and that now plan to drain us of all our money for the next ten generations so that they can continue  to enjoy their unearned wealth.

Today, as I blundered around a shop in search of something edible and cheap, my ear happened upon a saccharine drone in the background, a re-blanded over-muzakked spewing of Good King Wenceslas, and I thought to myself, why are we celebrating this bastard? This fucker Wenceslas is exactly the same as Fingers Fingleton and that jerk Fitzpatrick, and Cowen and Yehudi Lenihan.

So what if he saw a poor man in the snow and felt sorry for the pathetic  starving bastard?  Well he might, the smug, self-satisfied prick, when all his wealth and money and castles and concubines and all the rest of the shooting gallery were acquired on the misery and sweat of these same poor peasants.  So what if he dragged his manservant off on a jaunt in the snow to feed this freezing peasant gath’ring winter fu-u-el.  The peasant’s kids were probably dying of hypothermia and plague while Wenceslas’s pampered lazy brats were rolling around in front of a giant fireplace burning half a forest and sucking on chocolate fat-fuckers.

And anyway, what about all the other frozen peasants living right against the forest fence? Do you think Wenceslas went around to every one of their reeking hovels with food and fuel on the Feast of Stephen?  He did in his bollocks.  Come on, he told his page-boy.  Let’s get the fuck out of here.  I’m fuckin frozen.  After salving his uncomfortable conscience with a few rashers and a bag of twigs, he fucked off back to his palace for a feast and a romp with the concubines, the hypocritical bastard.

A bit like those Irish billionaires who pay no tax here but salve their consciences by ego-massaging philanthropic gestures and patronising lectures to the rest of us compliant taxpayers.

Right, Bono?  Right JP?

______________

Previous Christmas grumpiness from Bock:

Preparing for Christmas

Christmas Songs in the Supermarket

The Christmas Crib

Bar Staff

All a huge misunderstanding

Christmas Toys

Christmas gift ideas

  23 Responses to “Good King Wenceslas and Other Christmas Songs”

Comments (22) Pingbacks (1)
  1.  

    True

  2.  

    The first strains of Bing Crosby or Slade bring me out in a murderous rage. I’m straight up to the nearset high spot with my AK47.

    Peace and goodwill are all very well, but that intolerable crap just makes me mad.

  3.  

    Parumpapumpum………..

  4.  

    Ah but this is what you should really be listening out for:

    The lyrics consist of five quatrains in the meter trochaic heptameter. Each quatrain has the scheme AABB with feminine rhyme. The unstressed syllable of the fourth foot is abated in each line in favor of a caesura, forming the line into two hemistichs, which conveys a sense of urgency. In the accompanying common time musical score, the caesura is attained by rendering the fourth foot as a half note, while the last foot of the line effectively becomes a spondee by being realized as two half notes. Each line is thus sung in four measures.*

    Try saying that with a gob full of eggnog. There’s a lot more to the story too, but it wouldn’t suit as a political allegory then :-(

    ::

    *From Wikipedia (of course)

  5.  

    Thank you very much indeed. You leave me no option but to search for a way of getting a dactyl into this story. As you know full well, trochees and spondees rarely go out without one.

    That’s my night ruined.

  6.  

    At least we have 30 degrees plus at Christmas here in the Antipodes. So true. I reckon most Kings were bastards.

  7.  

    Wait, hold on, what day is this? Right, November 22, not December 22! Christmas is arriving earlier and earlier each year. I have decided a Christmas tree for Miss Daisy is enough effort on my part. December 25th will find me at the movies with all the other non-believers! xoxxo

  8.  

    Unstranger — Tis

    Grandad — Snap

    Seadreams — Inter alia. There’s lots more besides.

    Colin — All the more reason to wish defeat on the antipodean teams in the only game we’re any good at.

    Savannah – Eventually if they keep pushing the clock back, Christmas will take them by surprise and arrive before the cheesy songs and the ads on TV.

  9.  

    Fuck Christmas and the camel it rode in on.

    Yes. I know that’s a bit strong but what can you do? I’m sick and I’m grouchy and fucking Christmas is not helping in the slightest. So fuck it.

  10.  

    Had to laugh saw on the net about that Eco-Friendly Christmas tree in Limerick. Not very Eco-Friendly now is it, maybe some Green anorak will tell us what the “carbon footprint” of the rescue is.

  11.  

    That’s the spirit!

  12.  

    Does anyone think the catastrophe with the Christmas Tree is Gods way of telling us ” Christmas is cancelled ! ” . Or could Uri Geller have been lurking about ?! I believe it now has 3 bends in it!!

  13.  

    As you happen to mention Bono, I should tell you that U2 are bringing their world tour here next summer. Tickets are on sale for their performance in Disneyland (sorry, Anaheim, California) with a prices ranging from $68-$3276 (!). See here:

    http://www.coasttocoasttickets.com/buy/u2_tickets.htm?pid=1213674

    And you’re complaining about a mere 4 weeks of kitschy Festive Season consumerism…I’ve got to endure 7 months of increasing hysterical and sycophantic press coverage before Mr Hewson et al arrive. Give me a jazzed up version of “God rest ye merry gentlemen” over “Where the streets have no name” anyday.

    Bah, humbug!

  14.  

    Lulu — See the other post for Christmas tree pics. Wonky.

    Mad Dog — $3 grand to hear that sanctimonious self-important fucker lecturing you? I’d pay that much to escape him.

  15.  

    Ah but for $3 grand he might, just might mind you, let you kiss his arse.

  16.  

    it could have been worse, bock. my sister worked in a shop a few years ago that used to belter out PAN PIPE christmas tunes. she went so fucking mental listening to it 8 hours a day from the middle of november onwards her husband nearly divorced her…

  17.  

    Can you hear the jingle bells Fernando?

  18.  

    You never cease to nail it, Bock.

  19.  

    Fuck you deputy STAGG, Fuck you.

  20.  

    Might it be that the Deputy was feeling guilt about colluding with his F.F. masters? They have cancelled Christmas for the majority of the Republic of Ireland. Christian or not it used to be a holiday. Not anymore.
    However the majority seem to be lying back and thinking of Ireland while F.F. and there little green lap dogs take turns screwing them.

  21.  

    Spiral of Revenge

    Off the point again as usual. Sorry.
    Irish Times Dec 28 2009, page 9, ‘Bishop Drennan reiterates he will not step down’

    “I feel we have been through a spiral of revenge,” says Bishop Drennan.
    No, Bishop.
    You are not now, and will never be, the victim of a spiral of revenge until the glorious day when a survivor of priest child rape twists a corkscrew up your arse.

  22.  

    Leo — If you know the comment is off-topic, why do you post it?

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