Professor Bertie Ahern

NUI Maynooth has appointed Bertie Ahern  as a visiting professor.

Think about that now for a minute.

Pic: Caricatures Ireland

Professor Bertie Ahern.

I remember a time when professors were widely-read people with interests and knowledge extending far beyond their area of specialisation.  Erudite, inquisitive people with a restless curiosity and a desire to understand all that came their way.


Now, Ireland is not short of oxymorons and never was.  We have the Irish Management Institute.  We have Garda Intelligence.  We have the Financial Regulator.  We have the Christian Brothers.

But to my mind, the most outlandish oxymoron yet has to be the violent yoking together of the title “Professor” and the name “Bertie Ahern”.

Wanted.  Visiting professor.

Qualifications:  Must be illiterate, anti-intellectual, dishonest gobshite with no ethical standards.

Forget the Large Hadron Collider.  Scrap it.  We don’t need it.

Pic: Green Ink

Putting Professor in front of Bertie Ahern’s name will cause an event — not just a singularity, not merely a tear in the space-time continuum, not a folding of space and not only the collapse of the galaxy — but the universe’s greatest wormhole for the universe’s greatest worm

This will cause a new phenomenon previously unknown to science: the Cosmic Absurdity, and the ripples from it will echo all the way back to the Big Bang.

Remind me if I’m wrong about something here, but wasn’t Ahern the man who crashed our economy into a cliff, accepted bags of money from dodgy builders, treated the subsequent inquiry with contempt, sneered at those who expressed misgivings about his ill-conceived e-voting system, gave over a billion euros of public money to bail out the child-abusing clergy, handed over our gas resources for nothing to the multinationals and lied barefaced to the nation on the main evening news?

What did they make him professor of?

Mediation and conflict intervention.

In other words, he’s there to teach the students how a slippery, two-faced liar can pull the wool over people’s eyes by believing two different things at the same time.  When you swallow your own lies, everyone thinks you’re the straightest man in the world.

There you go.  This self-centred, ruthless, deceitful corner-boy, who headed the criminal conspiracy called Fianna Fáil that bankrupted the country, is honoured with a professorship in a college of the national university.

Well, I suppose if anyone asks him how he earned this academic post without being able to read and write, he can always say he won it on a horse.


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8 replies on “Professor Bertie Ahern”

Academics and students at Maynooth have signed a petition calling on the university to rescind the above. Up to 1,000 penned a petition objecting to Ahern etc etc. Prof John Hughes expressed profound opposition (why can’t these people just say he’s a bollocks) at his presence on campus, in light of the tribunal evidence over his finances.

They hold honesty in contempt.
Maynooth is of course the training ground for the Catholic Church’s uniformed brigade. Nothing surprises me in their methodology in maintaining the Church’s evil and delinquent status quo.
Bertie I suspect is right where he always wanted to be. Fuck him and the scum that welcomes him in.

I’m going out a limb here, but I really think Bertie deserves this award.

If only to prove that the more crooked and corrupt you are, the more is thought of you here.

Wonder will Fingers Fingleton or any which other of The Dark Shadows’ old Drumcondra buddies be next to don a cap’n’gown?

So Maynooth are now offering Studies in how to beat the Bookie and fuck up a country in ten easy lessons from the most cunning of all cunts. Suppose it beats turning out frustrated child abusing dog-collared priests.

It’s just another stepping stone to the Aras.
Nothing like having a Doctorate on the auld CV when the Election comes ’round.
That is, if they bother with a Presidential Election at all and just shoe him in there.

A MAYNOOTH professor helped get Bertie Ahern appointed as an honorary professor – just weeks after he attended the Fianna Fail Ard Fheis.

The former taoiseach was named as an ‘Honorary Adjunct Professor’ of NUI Maynooth’s new Mediation and Conflict Intervention programme on April 7. He was proposed for the post by the head of the university’s business and law school, Dr Robert Galavan.

The appointment has provoked outrage from a large number of students and academic staff.

On Thursday, a petition signed by more 1,200 students against the move was handed over to university president Professor John Hughes, after a protest march by 250 students.

The Irish Daily Mail has learned that Dr Galavan is a Fianna Fail member who attended the party’s Ard Fheis in the City West hotel in February.

Dr Galavan said he thought the appointment of Mr Ahern was a brilliant move. ‘I think it’s a fantastic idea,’ he said. ‘It’s got nothing to do with what I’m a member of or what I’m not a member of.’ The student petition said it condemned the appointment of Mr Ahern as it contradicted the views of large numbers of students and staff at the University.

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