Seasonally Transmitted Diseases

Office party blues

The phone rang.

It was my lawyer, Gonad, howling in agony.

Gonad, I said.  What the hell is wrong with you?

I’m in pain, he groaned.

Indeed, I said. What’s wrong?

I caught one of those   new mutant STDs, he grunted.  Spectroclap.  Jesus it hurts.  Oh God it fucking hurts.  Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!!

I heard about them, I told him.  There’s the purple gonborrhea, and the green herpes.

Yes, he gasped.  I went to an office party last week, and you know how it goes.  Drink.  Photocopier room.  Oh  God!

You sound like you’re in serious pain, Gonad.

I am, he said.  I’m screaming with the white syphilis.

______________

More from Gonad.

15 thoughts on “Seasonally Transmitted Diseases

  1. I’m screaming with the white syphilis.

    i had to read the line twice and then it was: OH MY GOD!!!!! *insert loud guffaws and spilled drink*

    that was too funny! well done, sugar! xoxoxo

  2. Servers the fucker right. Office parties indeed! He should have been on his bended knees praying to all the God’s for forgiveness for becoming a poxey lawyer in the first place.

  3. This is probably the nice and low-toned post on which to introduce news of this apparition, which can also double as a friendly reminder re the recommended preventive against the “purple gonborrhea” and its assorted nasty friends.

    Enjoy the season.

  4. Oh you dirty racial profiler you. I told you before, I live in Canada but I’m as Irish as you profess to be ! And pointing out that saying ‘ sugar’ in every comment ( and not just to your blog) is getting old should be construed as helpful criticism and not bad manners. And I wouldn’t know a high horse if I rode in on one. However if you peeked into your stable I would be surprised if you didn’t spot a small herd of them saddled up and ready to go.

  5. Poor guy…tell him to it in Tetra Delta…it’s great for the white spots on the dick.
    Thanks for a great year Bock…keep up the good work.
    M

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