The Blind. The Halt and the Lame.

 Posted by on January 30, 2010  Add comments
Jan 302010

I was once forced to attend a disability awareness training session and it was like pushing heated needles through my eyes.


You WILL use the words we choose and you WILL NOT use the language of which we disappprove.

We were instructed never to use the word ” handicap”, because it came from “cap in hand”.  The fact that this was completely untrue was irrelevant.  What was important was the feeling that it might be true.  The feeling.

Fuck feelings.

I’m heartily sick of all this PC indoctrination.  I’ve had it with humourless idiots who don’t get the joke.  I’m tired of fools telling me what words I can and can’t use.

The guy who gave the course was blind, and that’s fine by me. I don’t care what he can or can’t see.  That’s his business and I’ll help him any way I can if I meet him in the street, just like I’ll help anyone with a handicap.  I personally happen to have a handicap, though luckily it only flares up every so often, but when it does, I’m a cripple.  Not differently-abled.  Not with special needs.  I’m crippled and anyone who tries to touchy-feely my handicap can fuck off.

Now, while we’re on the subject of blind people, I had a great idea.  The blind guy who gave that course explained how expensive it is to train guide dogs.  How short their lives are.  How important it is to treat them like slaves, ignore them, don’t pet them and make them sleep in the corner when you don’t need them.

To my way of thinking, that doesn’t seem like a good way to treat a dog, and so I thought, What about doing it differently?

Here’s my idea, and I think it’s going to make us all rich.

Guide Immigrants for the Blind.

Cheaper and better.   No social welfare.  No hostels.  Sleep in the corner.  Live longer.  No expectations.

Forget dogs.  This is the future of blindness.

  16 Responses to “The Blind. The Halt and the Lame.”

Comments (16)

    I’d say that idea makes you more than 20% offensive, and by quite a wide margin.


    I’m interested to see how long it takes before somebody jumps to a conclusion on this.


    As General Secretary of NUSED( National Union of Seeing Eye Dogs) I object to this idea. It was bad enough when they let the German Shepherds in, now this. This is the start of the race to the bottom. As for jumping to conclusions we have been trained not to. Bock you are barking!


    I’d like to see guide cows. When crossing the road, you don’t need to worry at all – the bulk will stop the car. When hungry, there’s always a meal nearby. And if your cow somehow guides you into a frozen tundra, then a quick slice down the middle will produce shelter and heat for the night.

    I imagine the license fee for an immigrant is a bit higher than a dog or cow, and they tend to give out more when you neuter them,


    this is vintage bock! i love the idea, sugar. it solves more problems than it causes, so it’s win-win for everyone! xoxoxo

    (when did we stop being able to laugh at ourselves? *sigh*)


    Jesus Bock you’re treading on dangerous ground there we have enough Labradors in this country without importing more. Would we have to get work permits for them and pay them the minimum wage (Do we still have a Minimum Wage?)


    You get awful gobshites throwing food for guide dogs on the street, sometimes putting the blind dude in dire jeopardy, so those dogs really have to be smothered with training. Those dogs are above mollycoddling and ear-scratches though, they’re fulfilling what’s in their own nature, to be subservient, a pack animal… they seem happier and definitely healthier for it. We as a seriously insecure species have trouble uderstanding that though.
    If you could make androids that loyal, we wouldn’t need foreigners at all.


    Interesting idea, Bock. Well, I could say something about the improved impact to the tax base and societal conditions, because only dogs have large litters…


    Rover — You have to move with the times. Sorry, but that’s how it has to be, going forward.

    Kae — Guide ducks for the blonde. How about that?

    Savannah — Precisely. A real problem-solver.

    King’s Bard — This idea will allow the Labradors to migrate back to Canada where they came from. It’s wonderful.

    K8 — Another great advantatge of guide-immigrants. They’re more civilised than us and wouldn’t be jumping for crusts like we do.

    HGF — It will be a real winnner, believe me.


    The guide immigrant isn’t so offensive as it sounds. The immigrant gets to practise their english and the handicapped person gets a new buddy.


    I promise you., somebody will decide to be offended by this. Just give it time.


    Dog collar or harness ?


    @wrinkley joe…dog collar or harness? no, sugar, implanted chips for both. too far apart and there’s a beep and yeah, central tracking gets a ping…right and then your mobile rings asking if y’all (guidee and guider) are in trouble. wow, look at all of the possible new jobs! xoxo


    I was reminded of this today which reminded me of this post so a bit late but enjoy.


    I especially appreciated your sentiments regarding stupid PC aversion to being honest about ones condition. I too one occasion am handicapped, buggered ( kiwi slang for broken, stuffed, stymied physically). Calling my inability to get out of bed, walk, bend crouch, grasp or move with
    “normal ease” , differently enabled, or or some such euphemism that means nothing actually negates the fact that not only do I feel crippled and unable but it negates and is a refusal to acknowledge the fact that when the pain is flaring and my body refuses to do I tell it I AM crippled.
    Thank God that I have better days when I can and do get on with life. But I am sick to death of folks who pretend it is my fault when I can’t because I am crippled.

    As for immigrant guides for the blind, the only offensive aspect of this is that our government would expect the immigrants to pay for this priviledge and then also bill the blind person, and would tax then also tax them. The only problem is the immigrants here often are stupidly wealthy by comparison, and they often treat locals like 3rd world servants.


    Exactly. Words like crippled came into existence for good reasons.

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