Falling to Pieces

 Posted by on February 12, 2010  Add comments
Feb 122010
 

Where would we be without all these resignations to brighten up our day?

I’ve had it, says Deirdre de Búrca.  Gormley can shove his party up his fucking arse.

Come back, Charlie.  Come back George.  We’re not finished yet.  One more resignation and we have enough moaners for a barber-shop quartet.  Oh lonesome me.

Really, now.  Isn’t it beyond ridiculous?

There’s Charlie Bird in Washington.  In a country stuffed with all sorts of vibrant cultural stimuli, things that informed all our development growing up, Charlie has no friends and nothing to do.

Wait a minute now.  Let me think.

I suppose a month in Manhattan wouldn’t go astray, followed by another month in Chicago.  Then he could buy a motorcycle and take Route 66 to St Louis, Tulsa, Oklahoma City, oh so pretty.  He could stop off in Amarillo.  Don’t forget Winona, Charlie, and San Bernardino.

Oh wait a minute.  he can’t.  Charlie can’t do this shit, because Charlie is sitting at his window in Washington,

This is Charlie Bird speaking to you from his window in Washington

looking out into an empty street

This is Charlie Bird looking out on an empty street

Thinking about how he has no friends in a country of 300 million people

This is Charlie Bird feeling fucking sorry for himself for having no friends because he’s a fucking gowl.

What else could Charlie do?  I don’t know, but if I had a gig like his, I’d be down in New Orleans.  I’d be schmoozing around Graceland, buying little bobble-head Elvises for the folks back home.  I’d go to Disneyland.

What the fuck am I talking about?  If I had a posting in America whhere I could write about whatever I wanted, I’d already be in Disneyland!

But no.  This is Charlie Bird reporting from inside his own arse.

Meanwhile, back on the farm, here’s George Lee,  the best boy in the class.   All in a snit because they didn’t see how clean his shoes were.  George Lee looks like the sort of fucker you hated at school.  The sort of gobshite who used to get 93% in every exam and probably put his hand over his homework when you came in with nothing done so you couldn’t copy it, even though there was a big sweaty Christian Brother waiting to fucking rape you if he found out your copybook was blank.

Smirky little George with his hair combed by his mammy as he went out the door with his sandwiches in a nice little box, all in a fucking row, and his  nice neat v-necked pullover that he’d never get dirty by playing football in the car-park, and you’d like to shove it down his smug fucking throat when school is over, and you probably will too.

That’s the sort of guy George strikes me as.

The sort of guy you meet years later and he wants you to see how well he did.   Look how I got onThey’re paying me to talk shite on the telly, because I know everything. Mammy told me so.

That’s when you jump on him, even though you’re a grown man, and you try to shove his Pringle sweater down his fucking throat, but people in the street are staring, so you stop.  But then, even though George is also a grown man, you notice he’s crying. Can’t do that.  Georgie best boy. Can’t do that.  Georgie best boy. Can’t do that. Georgie best boy.  Can’t do that.  Georgie best boy.

And now people really are staring in the street as George walks around in a ciircle shouting and crying.

Can’t do that.  Georgie best boy. Can’t do that.  Georgie best boy.

I wonder is that what he told Indakinny when he wouldn’t put him in one of the desks at the front of the class?

Can’t do that.  Georgie best boy. Can’t do that.  Georgie best boy.

Home to Mammy for huggikins and jam sambos.

There, there, there, Georgie.

Charlie will be back soon and you can both have a good long cry.

  5 Responses to “Falling to Pieces”

Comments (5)
  1.  

    It’s the end-a-kenny

  2.  

    Your “copybook” here Bock you are showing your age there;) . On a serious note have you heard this clown going on and on about how nobody would let him fix the country! Seriously here is the man with all the answers, and Pat Kenny licking his arse clean on Frontline, If either of them wanted to make a statement that meant something why didn’t Georgie wait for Varadker to come out and have the two boys have a good old fashioned shout about!

  3.  

    bocdebully

  4.  

    heard extracts from her resignation letter. have to say i agreed with a lot of what she said. the greens have abandoned their ideals and are little more than an extension of fianna fail. she said they seemed more concerned with staying in power. i wonder why that is? would it have anything to do with not getting a ministerial pension unless your a minister for 3 years? unlike george lee, she did speak to the leader about her concerns on more than one occassion. and now we have members of the green party coming out saying, its sour grapes , that she really wanted to work in europe.
    now what is really interesting is that, both the greens and fine gael are refusing to recognise that there is something wrong with their set up. nothing wrong with us they say, its them their quitters and sulks. yet a recent poll has enda almost as unpopular as the guy who ruined our economy. a guy who told us this week, that from now on his going to be himself when dealing with the media. who the fuck has he been all along? perhaps the next resigation we hear should be endas? if only in the national interest.

  5.  

    A terrible beauty got born; surely we’re due the reject-lobbyists at some stage.
    Rejection section needs more members.
    All in favour say – Aye!

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