Bishops and Backhanders

How to suck money out of the education system

Let’s say you’re an Irish Catholic bishop.  And let’s say you’re stuck for money, as a result of all those claims by the victims of your priests.

Let’s say you’re desperate.  If you don’t find cash soon, you might be forced to sell off all the accumulated wealth around you.  Heaven forfend, you might even be forced to live in an ordinary house like the common people.

You have a brilliant idea.  You have two brilliant ideas  — the only original notions you’ve had in your entire life, since you were taken over by the church at the age of fourteen.

Suddenly all your angst is forgotten.

Suddenly it matters nothing that you have no emotional life, that you know nothing of the real world, that you have no children, that you’ve never been laid, that the faithful no longer swallow your platitudes, that you have no understanding of human relations, that you don’t believe the religious nonsense you’ve been peddling since you were a guilty adolescent or that you’re slowly going mad from alcoholism and rage at the waste of your life in pursuit of a lie.

Suddenly, you’re a star again, just like in the old days when people took you seriously.

The first brilliant idea is to levy a charge on the schools controlled by your proxies, the parish priests, which are paid for by the government.  You’ll take money from the schools — taxpayers’ money — to cover your costs in running the schools, even though you don’t do anything for the schools.  That will pay for at least one or two abusing priests.

God how you envy those abusing priests.  You wonder what it feels like to be close to another human being, even a child.  You admire them.  You want to make sure they’re all right, and so you take money from the schools as your Christian duty.  Imagine being that close to another human being.

You envy them, and you wonder again what being close to another human being is like, but then you start to get hot and bothered, which is not good for a man of your age.

And that’s when you get your second brilliant idea.

Schools need insurance, and schools are paid for by the government.

What about doing a deal with one or two insurance companies?

What about instructing your proxies, the parish priests who control the schools, to direct  government money towards one or two favoured insurance companies to the exclusion of all the others?

It’s easy, since the parish priests control the schools by fear and bullying, and since all the teachers are afraid of them for fear of losing their jobs, even though the government pays all the costs.

Nobody is going to complain.  It’s a nice deal.

And so the schools all take out their insurance with the same two insurance companies, and the companies show their gratitude to you with a modest donation to your abuse compensation fund (and perhaps to the occasional new car).

You get to keep all your properties.  The abuse claimants get paid.  The schools get insured.

Everyone’s a winner except the taxpayer, but that doesn’t bother you too much since you don’t owe your allegiance to this country anyway.

Nice one, bishop!

19 thoughts on “Bishops and Backhanders

  1. People are thinking of moving out of Ireland in droves yet again. No idea where they will go as Australlia is tough to get into and the US that loves Irish people will put more limits on them. To me it sounds like the world is trying to keep everyone in their own countries or at least out of theirs . Yep it sounds like a cunning plan and schools should be used to this sort of thing.

  2. Is this for real? Is this actually happening? – If so, can you name the Insurance companies that are “Sponsoring” the Church.

    Has this always been the way? I’m genuinely shocked………

  3. Picking up one what Dessiegee said, if we knew the names of these companies then we could write to them and about them and ask them how they feel about supporting child abuse for profit. Ask them if it causes their stock holders too lose any sleep because they are helping finance a group of peadophiles, and finaly congratulate them on at least their boldness in taking such a move, on allying themselves to such an organisation when it wold appear to the casual observer to be nothing less than PR suicide should this cosy relation be brought to mass public attention.

  4. Bock, I wont hassle you for the companies names for obvious reasons but can you tell us if this is a relatively new deal brokered between the Insurance companies and the Church or has there always been only 2 companies to choose from?

    Also, how sure are you that there is some kind of kickback to the church from the insurance companies, is this kickback in the form of cold hard cash or free/reduced premiums insurance on church assets.

    Either way – all benefits should revert back to the schools and not the church…..The sooner we get this scum out of the education system the better.

  5. I’m saying there are plenty of insurance companies to choose from, but I believe certain bishops have a cosy deal with two of them.

    In one form or another, I’m told similar arrangements have been in place for years, and since the parish priests control the school boards and the teachers through fear, everyone is afraid to speak out about it

  6. I give up – Time to burn the Vatican down…….That’ll teach the insurance companies……

  7. I don’t have a clue about backhanders, but it was always the case that primary schools had to use the Catholic Church’s chosen insurance company.
    I don’t know about secondary and third level institutions, but in the primary sector (almost 4,000 schools), all insurances were taken out with the same insurance company that the Church used themselves.
    Schools did not have a choice.
    Until quite recently there was only one, I think there are two now.
    It is true that if a school wants to move from one company to the other, then they need to ask the Patron (the Bishop in most cases) for permission, or at least inform him, first.
    I hadn’t really thought that much about it, but it sounds like it might be “stifling” competition alright.
    Is that allowed?

    I don’t know why anyone is surprised at this arrangement though… the Catholic Church runs our primary schools.
    Didn’t you know that?
    It makes sense for them to use the same, trusted company to insure their churches, palaces, priests, land, cars and their schools. Yes, I said “their” schools. The Catholic Church owns about 96% (guess) of our schools.
    Didn’t you know that?

    It doesn’t make quite as much sense though that the tax payer pays the insurance premium, not the Catholic Church.
    There’s nothing wrong with the Catholic Church owning and running their own schools.
    The problems are:
    – The tax payer foots the bill for these privately owned schools.
    – The tax payer has no choice (for the most part) but to send their child to a denominational school, even if they don’t want this type of education for their child.
    That’s just wrong.

  8. We accept too casually the idea that the church owns the schools.

    They don’t provide the teachers.
    They don’t provide the curriculum.
    They don’t provide the teaching materials.
    They don’t provide the books.
    They don’t provide the heating or the lighting.
    They don’t provide the running water.
    They don’t provide the maintenance.

    All they own is the building, and in an age when buildings have become exceedingly cheap, that isn’t very much.

    The church are the landlords and nothing more, yet, for no obvious reason, we put them in charge of the whole school.

    The price of the rent is far too high for the value we get in return.

  9. In the majority of cases, the church has the title of the land and the school, and are the legal owners.
    However, the land was usually donated free and the schools were built by locals long ago and by the state later i.e. very little cost to the church, but huge rewards today.

  10. That’s the point. They own the buildings, which were often built by the taxpayer, but a school is more than a building.

  11. It is indeed.
    Own the building and you “own” all that’s in it – including thoughts and futures!
    Is this what we want for our education system in 2010?

  12. In a certain school, many years ago, water damage ruined the floor of a classroom. An insurance claim was made. The floor was never repaired. No-one ever asked where the money went. No-one dared disturb the sound of silence.

  13. Arrrrgggghhhhhh…. theres just no end to their deceitfulness. Just when you think they’ve done it all! why are these fuckers still in charge of the schools? In fairness, we’re taking it up the ass constantly! These people are heading our education when their leader can spout incitement to hatred from his pulpit! I’m off to live in a fucking tree, but being “gods creation” they’ll be looking for fire insurance!

  14. I thought the ntion that clergy dont get laid had been laid to rest by Bishop Eamon Casey and Fr Michael Cleary ?

  15. Whats really great is that you are putting all of this out here ! I thought I had looked at the Church and Education from every angle, I never knew about the Insurance angle.
    Information is key to progress.

  16. Reading the post no 11, the solution is simple -hire, build other buildings – why havent the powerful teaching unions and the Teacher/Politicians/ Ministers such as Dempsey, Michael Martin, Mary Hannafin, Mary O Rourke, Batt O Keffee etc gone ahead and done that ? It can hardly be fear of the Bishops – after all we have had a Taoiseach who lived with his girlfriend and not his wife !

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.