I noticed that none of the usual suspects in here are included in Ireland’s top 300 rich list as published in today’s papers.
Why is this?
The list includes a raft of business men in the top fifty. Most of them are up to their tonsils in debt and are probably on their way to prison.
Cavan tycoon Sean Quinn is at number one. However, it is reported that the man that would never bet more that 50c at cards has dropped an estimated €2.5bn because of outrageous investments (gambling) in Anglo Irish Bank shares.
U2, who are worth €595 million, are in 15th spot, one place behind Limerick’s JP McManus, who’s down to his last €635m.
Beef Baron Larry Goodman – I thought he was dead? – is worth €425m and is in 22nd place.
Super hoofer Michael Flatley – The Lord of the Dance, or the Lard of the Dance as The Sun dubbed him when he became a fat bastard a few years back, is at 33 with a cool €300m stashed away, while the man that opened up Europe to dirt free air travel, Michael O’Leary, is at 36 with €285m.
Flatley, who claims that he was once a boxer, is in number two spot in the ten richest celebrities table behind U2. Enya, meanwhile, has earned a cool €95m from her cosmic/Gaelic airy fairy codology. She’s at 4.
The highest place actor is Liam Neeson (€55m) at 6, while the completely talentless Chris de Burgh and Westlife are at 8 and 9.
The Cranberries, who are reported to be worth €41 million, are not included in the celebrity top ten even though de Burgh – worth €38m is?
Publishing a top 300 rich list might appear to be a bit, er, rich in the teeth of a recession, but what harm to have an auld blast on the violin whilst the place is going up in flames.
But how about a “They Haven’t a Pot to Piss In” list of top 300 paupers. I’d be in the top ten straight off.
Meantime, good to know that Limerick woman Dolores McNamara has more loot than de Burger and Westlife, given what they’ve put us through down through the years.
And all she ever did for it was buy a ticket for the EuroMillions lottery on her way to the Black Battery for a drink.
Speaking of the Black Battery, there was a photograph in the local paper a few years back of four men inside the bar standing around a high stool solemnly pointing at it.
And why were they pointing at the chair you may ask? Why the actor Tom Cruise was passing through town and he stopped off in the bar looking for directions to the Dublin Road and he sat on that stool.
Not just any stool now, but THAT stool, the one they were pointing at with a look of awe on their faces. Tom was there for a few minutes and then left after going to the toilet. He may have left two stools behind him in fact, but there was no pic of the alleged other stool on the front page of the local.
Top Gun Star Leaves Outrageous Looking Stool in Black Battery Toilet, could have been the headline.
Tom is worth a few bob also, but there was no way he was investing it in Anglo Irish Bank.