Good news at last. Tuneless bastards Jedward have been dropped by their record label after their debut single bombed in the charts.
The grimy twins released the old David Bowie/Freddie Mercury effort "Under Pressure" but it nose dived. The single was cut in collaboration with rapper Vanilla Ice, a talentless fuck from the 80s/90s who is now ten times more talentless.
Deformed pygmy Louis Walsh, who acts as Jedward manager, said that he remains completely committed to the twins dispute the fact that the tens of millions of people want to maim and kill them.
However, a Sony executive told the hairy-arsed reptiles in the press that they had problems with the lads credibility. Bizarrely, he also admitted that the lads haven't got the greatest of voices.
Imagine that. Next thing you know Sony will be demanding that their recording artists can actually carry a tune.
But he did put the knife in.
"We tried our best to make the lads credible recording artists but punters just weren't that bothered. They are great lads but haven't got the greatest voices, so they're something to see rather than listen to.
Record companies are going through major upheaval so we have to be very careful what we throw our weight behind. I'm sure Jedward will be able to make a buck touring as a novelty act."
Unfortunately Walsh, who has singlehandedly destroyed the credibility of the Irish music industry over the last two decades, is insisting on persisting with the novelty act.
He was quoted as saying: "I'm in talks with a major record label about a new deal for them."
A new deal doing what exactly? They can't sing and they're irritating wankers. Maybe people might pay to see them feeding mackerel to dolphins in a theme park.
Meanwhile, while Sony is getting rid of the dross from one side of its mouth, it's announcing out of the other that they've signed the biggest deal in recording history with the people's paedophile Michael Jackson.
But Jacko is dead, I hear you say. A mere technicality ladies and gentlemen, a mere technicality. According to the Wall Street Journal, Jacko's estate have inked a $200m deal with Sony for a ten album project over seven years.
One of the albums will include previously unreleased material. In other words, some wretch is in a studio right now rehearsing his Jackson voice along with some of the best song writers in the USA.
Alternatively, they could dig Jacko up, prop his scrotum/schoolboy-clutching cadaver in front of a microphone and use backing tapes.
Given his physical condition before he croaked no one would be able to tell the difference anyway.
I was cruising in my jallopy last Friday when I got an earful of 'Jeducation' on the Gerry Ryan show. I thought, what the fark is that about! I nearly crashed the auld jallopy, but had no such luck.
Bad news, indeed very bad. Jedward is not gone yet according to BBC:
" X Factor finalists John and Edward Grimes – otherwise known as Jedward – have switched record labels and signed to Universal, it has been confirmed."
Not that I've ever heard (hurt) them singing…
Jesus wept @ Mr Bock
Word has it they're forming a super group with Crystal Swing.WTF is going on in the music business?
FFS Bock, be fair now. They're not hairy-arsed; they have bums like a peach, envied by many a Pashtun Goat-herder.
Plus, Jacko, being around 80% plastic will be perfectly preserved for at least 50 years to come. Perhaps something with puppetry…
Glad to hear those Jedward wankers were thrown off their record label. That troll Walsh needs to be kept away from handsome young men who can't sing becase he invariably seems to use the old, 'You know, I could get you a record deal' line.
They put Einstein in the bold corner first, cause they didn’t understand his genius.
They laughed at Beethoven cause of the big hearing aid thingy .
Mark my words Mr Out, the world is not yet tuned to their artistry but it will happen .
I went to the Olympia in Dublin on Tuesday night to see Aslan – a great old band that still play in pubs and hotels around the country.
Christy Dignam, the lead singer wore an 'I love Jedward' tee shirt for part of the gig, presumably as some sort of protest that a duo that cannot sing can gain stardom, while he and the boys still tour tiny venues.
A good band Aslan, pity about their quiffs though. Mr Sniffle I'd have a better chance of signing a five year deal with Real Madrid.