Father’s Day

 Posted by on June 20, 2010  Add comments
Jun 202010
 

It’s Father’s Day and my children cooked for me.

Happy Father’s Day, Father, said my son.

Happy Father’s Day, Father, said my daughter.

Here’s a special Father’s Day dinner we cooked for you.

It’s beer, I said.

We know, they beamed.  Your favouritePacked with all the nutrients and vitamins necessary for a healthy, happy life.

I was touched.  So thoughtful, I managed, choking back a manly tear.

Not at all, Father, said Bullet.  We looked it up on the Internet, didn’t we Sister?

We did, Bullet.  We did indeed.

It’s a tradition, Bullet explained.  This is the feast of Saint Father,  the patron saint of beer and also of driving around aimlessly at night collecting teenagers from discosA mediaeval drunken ne’er-do-well.

I know that guy, I said.

So anyway, said my children, in close harmony, we also made you this great roast-beef dinner to go with your beer meal.

We bought it in Spiderquinn, said Bullet.  As a homage to Fatherman.

Thank God you didn’t say an homage, I replied but my surprise was genuine.  I always found the Batquinn stuff pretty good.

Ah, it’s ok, said C#1, better than Bananaquinn anyway but that’s where we got it.  I was meeting my friends there to collect my ticket.

For ..?

Yes.

Pink?

Yes.

In Thomond Park, tonight?

Yes.  Any chance of a —

Lift?  Glug-glug-glug-glug-glug.  Ooops, sorry, now I’m over the limit.

Saint Father’s Day, muttered Bullet, is a day for football and beer.

That’s my boy, I told him.  No fucking Pink for you.

No indeed, Father.

Son.  Have a beer.

Why thank you, Father.

Did I ever show you how to roll a spliff?

You certainly did Father.  I was nine, and it’s a skill that has stood well to me over the years.




A

  10 Responses to “Father’s Day”

Comments (10)
  1.  

    today I woke up to a loud beeping from my wife’s laptop, telling me that it was time to fix yet another laptop.

    her GPU’s soldering had failed. Luckily I know laptopitsu and was able to karate chop it back into a semblance of life.

    ah well – happy father’s day. just the same as any other day!

  2.  

    :-)

  3.  

    What a lovely Father’s Day. Must’ve warmed the cockles of your heart. They’re the image of themselves, are those kids, as my dear old Dad used to say.

  4.  

    i drove his mother to church for him today. happy father’s day, sugar. xooxox

  5.  

    haha, have a good one bock :)

  6.  

    dropped herself to the door of t.p. for that concert tonight,scary…if your a single man head there fast..there was 25 999 women dressed in pink…and think i saw one man,probably the sound guy..thomond park is full to the rafters with limericks beautiful women,all of them nearly…suppose its a change of having all of limericks men in there..

  7.  

    Everyday should be Fathers day……………..and ahem Mothers day, Hope you enjoyed your day and what a day, Glorious !

  8.  

    Happy father’s day Bock.. they should have got you a pink ticket! You would have loved it. You missed out big time! What better way to spend father’s day than shaking your booty.. :)
    She put on a good show – from the bits I saw of it anyways. Spent half the time queing for toilets as Thomond Park is kitted out with more boy’s pottys than girls. I couldn’t wait that long so snuck into the boys but I didn’t look at all.. swear.. :)

  9.  

    Questque c’est un spliff?? Do they have them at the Spiderquinns also? I think i’ve seen them at waitrose in the haberdashers section…

  10.  

    MOTHERS DAY MOTHERS DAY MOTHERS DAY

    NINE MONTHS AFTER ”FATHERS DAY”

    wow

Leave a Reply