What.The.Fuck sports fans!
The greatest show on earth?
More like the greatest shambles. The highlight so far has been the Slovenian goal celebration which must be the gayest celebration since … well, I can’t remember one. It looked like ring a ring a rosy for central European men who really should know better.
Where are the great players Bill, where is the passion and give it a lash attitude?
Messi earned me nul points in fantasy football where I now bottom feed at 2998th. I’ve asked for transfers from those who know better, replacements for Buffon, Cannavaro and Sneider. I asked and they told me yes, you’re still omnipotent in fantasy football, sign Caesar and some other South American bozos who earned me more nul points – thanks 10 and 13 year old expert sons. Call of Duty – Modern Warfare II continues to reign supreme over FIFA 2010.
There is Argentina of course, Germany maybe and last night the Brazilians showed some touches but Jesus H, the world cup, this is the fucking world cup.
So all my eggs now into Alonso and Xabi’s basket for today’s clash against the disciplined Swiss, bankers and bloody horologists, who surely cannot hold the best midfield ever. Their definite shape and form against the Spanish creativity which must have a better chance than Limerick against Cork this coming weekend.
I passed the Algerian goalkeeper and his peroxide blond bowel head on his sulkie last weekend – on the Dublin road. There was something homo erotic yet Limerick scumbaggish about the Algerian team with their preening and pouting and too tight shirts and high-lighted number ones.
The Dutch, well what can you say except that there are no rumours of discontent in the camp and the coach is still there, so far, but scorpion-like they cannot deny themselves. Watch this space sports fans.
I’m saying nothing about Engerland cept they had the best ever ever world cup song for Italia 90 with New Order and Johnny Barnes. I know David Cameron apologised yesterday and that this should help me in my efforts getting over the 700 years of oppression, but NO, that’s still the big NO and I will continue to support Outer Mongolia or Northern Korea if they play them. Fucking crying Gazza eyes and Bobby bloody Moore (one of the best though).
Brazil – the abandonment – the babes – the thongs – the luxury of expression – the poverty escape that the beautiful game is in Rio – Ronnie’s not there though, but the kid who thought he signed for Manchester United is and so is the naughtily named Kaka . Banana kicks and chachachas and my heart and soul.
Maradona is there too, smirking at Capello and waiting in the long grass. Recently the Engerlanders voted his goal, the one directly after the hand of god, as the best world cup moment of 100 best moments. Masochists are us, really. Enjoy his liposuctioned, rehabbed and substance-free body doing keepy uppy on the side lines and better than any other save strangely his cult figure nemesis , li’l Lionel, who hopefully will set the tournament alight and rob him of his legendary status .
That bastard Henri.