Christy Moore Is A Prick

Early career: the Black Scorpion years

I’d be willing to bet me wellies that this post is being opened by some irate Christy Moore fans. Well, rest easy. I don’t know Christy Moore and I haven’t listened to him since the first time I heard him and decided he were bloody pants. I have no reason to believe that he’s a prick but you’d have to admit that you are reading this post because of t’ title.

So why have I called this post as I did? It’s a lesson in marketing that was taught to me by the manager of a band I played in for a short time called The Black Scorpions. He were a pawky lad by the name of Scott Lieberman – (real name: Stanley Bardsley). He worked in the steel mills with me dad but, by eck, did he have a good head for marketing.

It was March ’74 and we were asked to play at Brammal Lane, the home of me beloved Blades.

The Black Scorpions had just scored a hit with Ride Me Like Your Mamma Did, Sister and we were all looking forward to playing in our home town again. Stanley had changed his name because he felt his real name was shit and he asked if he could become band’s manager. I laughed and then I saw a press photographer so I headbutted Scott. The lad understood why I did it and that convinced me that this lad could be up to the job.

The first thing he did was sit us down and ask us what we intended to call our second album. I told him it was to be called Spank Me Til I Like It. He shook his head in a dismissive manner so I bloody chinned him again.

When he recovered, he explained that, in order to create a buzz about the album without laying out money, we should call it something controversial and accompany it with an album cover that would be sure to be banned.

Bloody genius, that lad. So it was that our second album, Ghandi’s Love Child was born. There was a skinny, bald lad – ironically called Len Kingsley – living nearby so we sprayed him with fake tan, gave him a swastika tattoo and pictured him doing a fit bird doggy style on a four poster bed. That was the cover of our second album. We leaked the picture of the cover to the press and then shit really hit bloody fan.

Every bloody hippy in the world when buck ape about it. They were calling for us to be sued. One group called for us to be jailed and our album release was postponed. I was thinking about giving Scott a bloody good chinning because the record company refused to release the thing. Scott stood firm and pre sales of the album were putting it at bloody platinum. The record company eventually released it with a black cover and simply called it The Black Scorpions II. It sold by the bloody bucket load. If t’ bloody internet had been around at the time, everyone would’ve seen the original album cover but only a few people ever saw it.

Unfortunately, later that year our bass player, Ziggy Foreskin, died of a chicken goujon overdose. We couldn’t carry on without him so we broke up t’ band. Shame really. Scott went on to manage several other high profile bands but we never worked together again. He was bloody trailblazer though. He started off that style of promotion, did Scott.

He come to see me a few years back, after he heard about my freakish transformation at the hand of bloody magnetic field. He wanted to manage me again. He said that we could positively charge me and get me to “accidentally” electrocute a fan. He even said, little Len Kingsley was up for the job. I declined through contractual obligations to Ry Cooder. Might work with him again someday so stay tuned.

17 thoughts on “Christy Moore Is A Prick

  1. “Ride Me Like Your Mamma Did, Sister”

    I spat my coffee out over my laptop when I saw that. Genius.

  2. I like Christy but apparently it’s true he’s a prick. I know a guy who met him down the beach and asked Christy did he forget his shovel, and Christy told him to f-off.

  3. Phew… and I just thought that Christy Moore… I fell for it, kudos to your manager Scott-Stanley and your quick learning abilities.

    Does Scott-Stanley by any chance work for the government right now? I mean who else would come up with a marketing idea like the Irish economy is on the up and Irish banks are healthy?
    That’s like “The Love Child of Brian C. and his Gangbangers” – or such like….

  4. Elle, I reckon Moore was right on that occasion, probably the only time in his life he was right about anything..
    Nice on mr Bottleneck.

  5. Beethoven was a deaf auld oik. In his bachelor bed he fantasized about his Ferne Geliebte. Should’ve masturbated on a grand piano instead.

  6. Not only was he a prick, his plonker of a kid brother was of an even worse variety; painful prick. Did sessions with both of ’em (years ago) and if I was invited today to do it again I would without question tell ’em both to f . . . off.
    Excellent post.
    At least you kept this one short.
    You are inclined Johnny to want to put up your life story in every post, not good that.
    This is better from you.

  7. If they’re your beloved Blades, why can’t you spell the name of their ground right, you old tosser? Or is that another marketing ploy?

  8. Ay up Frank. You bloody told us about your life in one comment and you have a go at me for tellin me life story? The only bloody Moore I played with was Gary and he was a pawky cunt ‘n all.

  9. Hi all.

    As a huge Christy Moore (and Declan Sinnot) fan, I just wanna say that Christy Moore is NOT a prick. ,

    I’ve seeing him live several times, and you only got to be in the same room as him to find out for yourself.

    I admit on one occasion he did sort of loose his
    temper with some idiot in the front row, but come on, we’re all only human, nobody’s perfect (not
    even Christy).

  10. I was dragged kicking and screaming to see Krusty at the Cambridge Corn Exchange in the mid 90’s, and mid way through the set (during a quiet song, could’nt tell you which one) he had a precious attack, somebody coughed or had a drink, or some such misdemeanor.

    Talk about killing the mood, as far as I could tell the audience was full of ex-pat Irish and dedicated Engrish fans, who had shelled out good money to watch this Aretha Franklin moment.

    I’d like to say he picked himself up, he ate a snickers, and the show finished on a high, I would also like to say I was converted to a life long fan, everybody was dancing out of the hall.

    Alas no the show seemed to fizzle out from that point on, and I’ve never been tempted, or bound and gagged taken back to see him, or bought or downloaded any of his recordings. If it was a marketing ploy it failed on me, and worked in reverse.

    Safe to say if Krusty Hoor was playing a one off gig in my front garden I would’nt look out the window……… for fear of upsetting his flow.

  11. I used to run a satirical magazine with stuff like this. Great piece, well written – hilarious.

  12. Yep, read it because of the title but anyway Christy Moore and his ilk are pricks who manage to tie up the trad scene. No room at the inn. Same as his buddies Synott et al. They may be ok musicians but they prove that you could market sand to arabs or shit to a sewage treatment plant.

    Jaysus, I,m in a good mood today

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