What’s that they said? Nama was going to make a profit of, oh, three or four billion?
Wasn’t that what they told us? We’d all be winners because Nama, somehow, by magic, was going to take all these shit loans and empty hotels and turn them into folding cash money, even though the banks and the developers were unable to do the same thing.
So, what are they telling us now?
Apparently Nama is going to lose several hundred million because — here’s a surprise — the banks didn’t tell the full truth about how bad the loans were.
Imagine. The banks lied. Are you shocked?
No. Neither am I.
After all, didn’t the top bankers walk into Biffo’s office in the middle of the night in September 2008 and lie through their teeth? And didn’t Biffo and Yehudi shit themselves and immediately extend a blanket guarantee to all the banks, plus the gamblers who took a punt on them?
There’s some consolation in all this though. Ireland has produced a world-leader in Anglo. It’s now officially the worst bank in the world, having lost more money than any other bank anywhere in the world.
Do you remember the way we used to make these little boasts about punching above our weight in the European Union? Well, thanks to Anglo, we can now claim to be embezzling above our weight internationally.
Do you feel a little thump of pride in your chest? For myself, I can tell you, there’s a manly tear brimming in my eye as I write this. Ireland leading the world yet again.
As my friend and colleague, Mr Darwin, remarked in a timely email today:
So, if I understand correctly, this financial meltdown was caused by the banks selling bad debts to each other by fraudulent means. So the Irish government’s solution was to buy debts from the banks, who promptly lied to them and just sold them more bad debts. Priceless (literally).
That pretty much sums it up.
There’s nothing I can add.