Every neurotic nutcase in Britain is quivering in fear because they might have eaten a cloned hamburger. They’re terrified. You’d imagine they were just injected with concentrated bubonic cancerous AIDS-leprosy.
What the fuck do they think is going to happen? Do they think they’re going to grow another shoulder? An extra knee? A chin at the back of their head?
It’s just beef. Delicious, juicy, burger beef. It’s bad for you, but not in a Doctor Evil Mwooohahahaha kind of way. It’ll up your cholesterol and zap you in the end, but at least you had a couple of beers at the barbecue, sang a few songs and chilled.
Oops. Did I say chilled?
These eejits wouldn’t know the meaning of chilled.
They think they’ve just eaten a bit of Jeff Goldblum. When the waiter brought their steak, he leaned close and whispered Be afraid. Be very afraid. Next thing you know, they’ll be clinging to the ceiling, vomiting acid on their food to digest it, but considering the stupidity of these people, maybe that’s how they’ve always eaten.
Now I see the British government is issuing statements to calm them down : No danger from eating cloned meat, says food-safety Czar. It’s always a Chief or a Czar or a Baron. Never a Sheikh, or a Sultan or a Nabob, for some reason, but I digress.
There’s no danger from eating cloned meat because it’s just fucking meat, meatheads!
This is what happens when people get their education from Hollywood. They think the cow walked out of a spaceship and said Klaatu Barada Nikmoo.
Jesus Christ, it’s just a cow. A cow. A fucking unlucky cow who got whacked to put burgers on our tables, but a cow nonetheless.
Imagine if you told these people they were surrounded by clones? There wouldn’t be an identical twin safe in the whole of Britain. They’d be out with burning pitchforks marching on the homes of known multiple pregnancies.
Give out your radioactive Satan-children! They must die!