Ivor Callely and the Phantom Receipts

Ivor the Explorer and the Curse of Phono

Ivor Callely has issued a new statement.

It seems he received four receipts from a company that had ceased trading, and he had no reason to believe the receipts weren’t in order.

Receipts, now, you understand.  Receipts, as in Thanks for the cash, Ivor.

Not invoices.  Not demands for money.  Receipts.

Maybe he forgot that he didn’t pay for the phones he didn’t have.

Ivor says he had no reason to believe the receipts weren’t in order, so he submitted them as expenses in the belief that they were correct and he duly pocketed the money.

But hold on a minute now.  The company had ceased trading.  He didn’t pay them because they didn’t sell him any phones.  The former directors said so.

I’ve heard of fake invoices, but what sort of companies send out bogus  receipts for money they didn’t get — especially companies that went out of business years ago?  And what sort of senator forgets that he didn’t pay for four extremely expensive phones?

What does Judge Judy say?

That’s right.   Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining.

23 thoughts on “Ivor Callely and the Phantom Receipts

  1. From a previous thread.


    However what of the Senate?

    They are reviled for being as talking shop on the take.

    It is said that they have no power.

    Yet they can suspend a Senator for 20 days.


    Because he was a naughty boy?

    More likely because they believed (if Senators believe anything) that there were questions asked that were not answered.

    The Senate is not the High Court. It is not the Supreme Court. It is the Senate.

    The only power they have is over their own Club membership.

    Callely should be suspended until such time as he delivers the name of the person who gave him the receipts.

    The Senate should also pass a motion requiring the Minister for Justice to come before the Senate top explain why the Garda Commissioner has taken control of the alleged fraud.

    Why was this not left with the Fraud Squad.

    The Senate need to ask the Minister for Justice did Fianna Fail request that the Garda Commissionr take control of a fraud case.

    “The committee will discuss how to proceed following the decision by Garda Commissioner Fachtna Murphy to write to the clerk of the Seanad, Deirdre Lane, about the new complaints, including one from Green Party TD Paul Gogarty.”


    While I don’t have a lot of time for the Senate (it’s members, rules or structure) I think a bi-cameral parliament is better than a unicorn.

    Seanad Éireann now has an opportunity to use the little power that it has.

    If it doesn’t I will take it that Seanad Éireann if as corrupt as Dáil Éireann.

  2. If I were addressing the Senate I’d say.

    “Are you gonna to pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?”.


    Let’s see what happens on Monday.

    Callely’s defence will probably make about as much sense as this.


    I must admit I didn’t know there were 4,000 Cubans 300 yards from West Cork.

    Apparently Anglo is not the worst of our problems.

    “So don’t think you can come down here, flash your badge and make me nervous”.

    Well that’s ok Ivor. It’s Cowen who’s nervous.

  3. http://www.independent.ie/national-news/callely-i-got-euro1500-from-invoice-firm-chiefs-son-2284712.html

    …. “In that context, I went to the garda station . . . requested an investigation formally; (I) acknowledge that I have no role in influencing the investigation in any way, except to bring it to their attention, and gave my details,” Mr Gogarty said….. “

    Indeed Mr Gogarty.

    Well after Fianna Fail have used you for the little shit that you are they will wipe you and your party off their stinking corrupt arsehole.

    Here’s another silly question.

    Did a Fianna Fail spy know that the Daily Mail was going to break this story?

    Did Cowen talk to Gormley?

    Did Gormley tell Gogarty that he had to get out there and do his duty for Fianna Fail?

    “(I) acknowledge that I have no role in influencing the investigation”

    That is a peculiar “acknowledgement”.

    It leads one to ask if Gogarty did “not influence” the investigation “in any way”, who did?

    Did Cowen instruct the Garda Commissioner to take control of the case?

    If so why?

    Why would Gogarty say he is not “influencing the investigation in any way”?

    Did Gormely tell him that someone else was?

    What’s Gogarty worried about?

    Why is the Garda Commissioner in charge of the case?

    Why not the head of the Fraud Squad?

    No doubt the truth will out.

  4. Maybe Brian Cowen should get a phone from the same crowd apparently the reception on his own is shite where he is on his hols!
    Wait maybe Brian got the new iPhone 4 and is practising the same death grip on it as he is on this poor country of ours?
    Just a thought!

  5. http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/frontpage/2010/0809/1224276419323.html

    “Mr Cowen said he was not in a position to force Mr Callely to resign from the Upper House but added, “It is a matter for him to consider now.””

    So Tao-is-each Cowen is taking legal advice from the same people that Senator Callely takes it from.

    Each to his own.

    The “Paper Of Record” now refers to both of these creatures as “Mr”.


    Maybe The Irish Times has become the “Paper Of Recording Fianna Fail Press Releases”.

    But nevermind that.

    Cowen, the big ignorant, can do a lot more.


    Did I hear a what?

    Cowen, the big ignorant, can instruct every Fianna Fail Senator to throw Senator Callely out on his ear.

    That would be from the Senate. That would be without compensation. Without expenses.

    He won’t do it.


    Did I hear a why?

    Sorry, I thought I made it clear.

    “Tao-is-each Cowen is taking legal advice from the same people that Senator Callely takes it from.”

  6. From the “Paper Of Recording Fianna Fail Press Releases”, by STEPHEN COLLINS and SEÁN MacCONNELL

    “In a statement issued on his behalf on Saturday, Mr Callely acknowledged that “very serious allegations” regarding his mobile phone expenses had been made in the media.”


    Surely he is a Senator until such time that he is not.

  7. “The committee will have to decide if it is the appropriate body to look into the mobile phone allegations, considering that the expenses claim was made while he was a TD.”

    Straight from the Fianna Fail Press Office.

    The Irish Times has thrown itself into the gutter.

  8. “Mr Boyle yesterday questioned the credibility of Mr Callely’s statement and said that by paying the money back it seemed he could not account for the claim.”

    That would be Senator Boyle and Senator Callely.

    COLLINS and MacCONNELL of the “Paper of Record” are not exactly Woodward and Bernstein.

    But hey. What the hell.

    When you have your “inside” Fianna Fail sources maybe you just need to get the “news” out as fast as you can.

    A “Mr” here a “Senator” there.

    Who cares?

    It’s just the other part of our bicameral parliament.

    Why would the Irish Times give a shit about that.

    They have “news” to “report”.

  9. To hear Mary Hannifin, Mary O’Rourke and Conor Lenihan distancing themselves from Ivor Callely with comments such as “He is an embarrassment to the party” , one wonders where all of this righteousness was when Bertie Ahern was waving his eight grand winning bookies docket about a few years ago. Instead, Fianna Fail was fully behind Bertie during his dark days at the tribunals and in the Oireachtas. Criticising Bertie and offering a spark of truth would have damaged many a TD’s career in politics, so better to keep shtum and keep the salary and the pension. But Ivor. Criticising Ivor can only Harm Ivor. In fact, Mr Callely is actually doing a wonderful service to Fianna Fail. He is the living ‘scapegoat’. All of Fianna Fail’s ills, including Bertie’s gambling, will be stuffed in Ivor’s pockets as he is beaten away from Mount Street. Ivor is like that fat kid in school that nobody befriends. It’s easy to slag him or even physically abuse him because there will be no consequence. Bertie, on the other hand, stands in the yard with his mates, smoking cigarettes and looking menacing. If you try to lay a finger on Bertie you will find yourself getting a hiding behind the sheds when school is over.
    So I guess what I’m asking is what is the huge difference between Ivor Callely “crimes” and Bertie Ahern’s. Nobody believes Bertie won eight grand on a horse, and yet, according to history, he did. Bertie retires, writes a book, tours the world with his story of triumph and still has the respect of Fianna Fail. But Ivor. Ivor is just a fat kid who cannot further anybody’s career. Nor can he damage anybody’s if you lay a sly boot into him. Keep your head down, do your job, pay the mortgage and hope that somebody else does the suffering. I think that pretty much sums us up as a society right now.


  10. Darren, the only way anbody in this country has to take any blame for what passes as political leadership ( no joking here mind! ), is that people actually went in and voted them into office with their eyes open. C`est la vie. As a hopelessly optemistic person, i would sincerly like to believe we have actually learned a lot from all the events that have come to pass over the last few yrs, well since the last election at least. Ivor and Bertie and any other of these so called political leadership are ony a small ( despite the large amount of bullshit we have to listen to from them ) distraction, a blind if you will, smoke and mirrors. Just figureheads for the endemic corruption that pervades the body politic. Remember the ( Meja ) Media has all the gen/information. They maintain that if the were to expose all they would be at the smallest be sued, at the largest be shut down ( more bullshit! ) This Meja also has a vested interest in keeping the status quo ( no not the rock group ) where they are. They are not know as the fourth estate for nothingyou know. They do not report the news, they manage it ( spin ) mostly in favour of the so called elite in politics and business. The only reason you have Ivor today ( aside from his stupidity ) is his greed has gotten the better of his senses, and the papers need some fodder for their cannons anyhow.

    Society as a whole here in Ireland abhorrs all that has passed for business and politics as represented by Fianna Fail/Fine Geal/Labour the banks and of course the developers ( for the want of a better name ) The young people of this country ( those that don`t leave and even those who do, they may return some time i do hope. ) will in their own time make these so called elite face up to their barefaced robbery of their parents commiment to this country. Their barefaced robbery or their own future as citizens of Ireland and the barefaced robbery of their childrens future and their childrens childrens future also.


  11. I think Ivor is being terribly misunderstood. What is all this fuss about? Sure leave the poor man alone didnt he give his explanations what more do the irish public want. You all hound out these poor hard working politicians and wont give them a moments peace without tormenting them have ye no shame.

    I think the expenses are fair and reasonable and should be paid directly to him wthout further a do.

    Also all politicians should be allowed premium rates of expenses and this can be funded say through cuts in childrens allowances as the kids wont miss the few bob. Also All Government salaries should be increaed only at senior level in order to get the quality of service the irish public always seem to want but are not prepared to pay for. Listen to the Government you wont go wrong. House prices are on the up again and be gald of that.


  12. “Paper Of Recording Fianna Fail Press Releases” is at it again.


    “But the steeper discounts being applied to the loans moving to Nama have resulted in the Government seeking permission from Brussels to provide yet more capital to Anglo.”

    No. Really?

    Let’s just print the press release then.

    “Commission vice-president for competition Joaquin Almunia said the move was necessary to “preserve financial stability in Ireland”.”

    This guy STEPHEN COLLINS is what I like to call a proper “journalist”.

    It might be worth following how this “proper journalist” continues to repeat Fianna Fail press releases.

    No doubt Madam is paying him a large bonus.

    Wouldn’t like to see the Irish Time go bankrupt like the Irish Press now would we?

    Who holds the debt of the Irish Times?

    How much pressure can they bring to bear?

    You can’t lose €25,000,000,000 on a property website and not have someone own your balls.

    No offence to “Madam”.

  13. callely ; Guth morgen mein fuhrer
    fuhrer; have you been fiddling your expenses again
    cal ; nien mein fuhrer it was my entitlement
    fuhrer; but what about those those shisa phones cal
    cal ; I am a busy public rep and I need instant comm in order to fulfill my duties mein fuhrer
    fuhrer; you have disgraced yourself and the party cal
    cal; mein fuhrer the party was well disgraced before I came on the scene anyway I am only a learner a novice
    you might say
    fuhrer; that is my complaint get the fuck out of this party n, we have no room for novices

    Cal; Guth morgen mein fuhrer I have come to appeal the decision to sling me out of the party after all what eegit of an employer would give me a job , politics is all I have and the pickings are good.
    fuhrer; Cal you are a loose cannon on the ship of destiny and I have no intention of going down with her. Now what is all this craic I hear about you signing your properties over to your wife, dont you know that no judge would sit not to mind stand for that. No cal to be a member of this party you have to be the most devious the most cunning and there is your problem.
    Cal ; Mein fuhrer if you just give me this chance I give you my word of honour I shall become as devious and as cunning as any other fiddling fucker
    Fuhrer ; Cal you speak of honour , here take this pistol and do the honourable thing.

  15. ‘If I go into town on a Sunday morning to do an interview, I have parking expenses to pay’. No. Not Ivor Callely.
    Leo Varadkar of FG on the Joe Duffy radio last week. He had just left the FG think-in at Faithlegg Houses in Waterford where no doubt they were planning how to run the country. Now you know what the first item on the ‘running the country agenda’ is.

    Mind you I think RTE pays for most of these interviewees as others stations probably do as well.
    Would RTE have paid Willie to launch his re-election bid on last Friday’s Late Late. What an easy ride he got from Tubridy, Tod Andrews grandson and nephew of David and Niall Andrews, all former FF ministers.
    @Bock. Your Pravda comment is right on the mark.

  16. THE FINAL DAY ; Trudi the sec enters the office.
    Mien fuhrer , there are two SS ( smoking squad) men here, they wish to serve a summons on you . They say you were caught smoking in a pub
    Fuhrer ; Mien goth I am surrounded by idiots. Tell them to piss off and that tomorrow they will be posted to the back of beyond.
    Trudi ; Mien fuhrer terrible news I have just heard that cal is holed up in the Seanad and is armed with a pistol and he is threatening to shoot any fiddling fucker who tries to force him to resign.
    Fuhrer ; Why that crawthumpin parvenu he is now trying to sink the good ship destiny and every fiddling fucker on it . Call out the gardastapo and have him arrested and sectioned oh and have a word with Healy Rae ask him to go around there and talk him out .
    Trudi ; But mien fuhrer he will shoot Healy Rae .
    Fuhrer ; No such bloody luck he is a cute hoor he is one of the old guard of fiddling fuckers , he knows all the tricks.
    Trudi ; Mien fuhrer one of our agents has just reported that when the gardastapo arrived they shouted come on out cal we know youre in there and cal replied come and get me copper . with that Healy Rae struts into the chamber and proceeds to give cal a crash course on fiddling . Then the gardastapo burst in and after a short bout of fisticuffs cal was arrested , taken away and duly sectioned.
    Fuhrer ; Aha thats the end of that then , the good ship destiny is back on course , steady as she goes then .
    Trudi ; Aye , aye sir steady as she goes .

    fuhrer ; Riocht mensh, a great tempest is brewing. Great hordes of fiddling gurriers and the amnesty loving little people are bearing down on the good ship Destiny and are hell bent on sinking her. Bilge scum that you are make ready for the great battle that lies before us. Spend a penny the leader of the fiddling gurriers is claiming the crown but the question is, do you want him to be your Fuhrer, (aside to henchman , shoot the fucker who shouted yes) but I have news for him comrade Givemore also wants to be Fuhrer, ha ha lets drive a wedge between them , divide and rule so to speak. The really big question is , does spend a penny honestly think he can establish as many quangos as we have, I mean we have quangos for just about everything and if we are elected I have plans for the daily fart count in the dail which will give more well paid jobs for your outlaw inlaws. So what more can you ask for. So let the word go forth to every fiddling fucker on board, BE TO QUARTERS.

    Riocht mensh It is important to say that it is important to say going forward oh excuse me , Fuhrer are we going forward or backward.
    Fuhrer ; backwards
    Calamity ; Danke Fuhrer , now it is important to say that it is important to say going backwards and quite clearly it is also important to say that it is important to say, however it is also important to
    Fuhrer ; Shut the fuck up

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