Marriage Scams On The Increase

Clamping down on fake love-birds

SIXTEEN people have been collared by PC O’Plod this year for bogus marriages.

Nine of them have been run out of the country – after reading Claire Ryan this morn we’ll describe these as the lucky ones -, while Gardai have issued 57 objections in relation to marriages they believe to be dodgy.

The General Register Office reckon there are indications that marriages of convenience are on the increase. They believe these are a result of the Metock ruling by the European Court of Justice. That judgment allows family members to move and reside freely within the territory of the EU, irrespective of where a marriage takes place.

But how can the Gardai tell if a marriage is bogus? Do they receive special training in Templemore on how to spot if people are in love or even snogging?

“If they’re not staring into lovingly each other’s eyes and touching each other up then start asking questions boys. Remember the old 10cc classic.”

“They’re not in love
Now don’t forget it
It’s just residential scam
They’re going through”

Meantime, up the aisle.

“Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded ……..”

“Sorry father but the bride and groom are under arrest. We’ve been observing them from the back of the church and we suspect that they aren’t shagging each other.”

Cue a wailing bridesmaid and a potential mother-in-law attacking the Gardai with an umbrella.

“You’ve ruined our big day.”

Meantime, back at the coal face the operations sergeant is handing out some last minute advice to his battalion of fearless nuptial busters as they stake out another church. The element of surprise is crucial. Snipers on the roof. Check. Two Paddy Wagons. Check. Four bandy-legged, hatched-faced Ban Gardai disguised as bridesmaids. Check.

“How remember lads. It’s a war zone in there. The first thing you should go for is the mother-in-laws’ umbrellas. Remember there will be two of them. However, the groom’s mother will be the high risk category as she’ll be so eager to get rid of him that she wouldn’t give a rattlers if he was tying the knot with Myra Hindley. She wants him out of the house at all costs. She’ll stop at nothing to see the wedding through. Be careful in there. And don’t forget our motivational song boys. All together now.

Your not getting married in the morning!
Ding dong! The bells aren’t gonna chime.
Call out the coppers. Scramble the choppers.
And get us to the church on time!

And with that they boot in the door of the chapel. Hello, hello hello! And what have we got here?

14 thoughts on “Marriage Scams On The Increase

  1. BP

    Your not wrong there Baz, as Sid Sexist said when Baz corrected him for singing, 4-2,4-2,4-2 ( in reference to the England v West Germany 66 WC final) at what Sid thought were German tourists, but who were in fact, as Baz correctly pointed out, Swiss tourists, after Sid and the boys had drank crates of fizzy Spanish larger on hols in Majorca.

  2. OMG!

    (As I am told hip young persons are wont to exclaim these days.)

    I’ll have to get the housekeeper to lay low, or he will be sent back to Ghana before his gender re-assignment is complete.

  3. To the Gardai anything that does not involve two close relatives in wellingtons is a fake marriage.

  4. Its a good point, who is the state to tell people that their marriage is a sham, they are consenting adults, no? And yet, we will be in big trouble if we don’t try and circumvent what is essentially a passport for sale situation. Other countries have been here before, and seem to have gone down the route of telling people that they cant get married, because the state does not believe they love each other. If that ain’t a slippery slope to fascism I dont know what is, but I dont see another obvious solution, other than to revoke automatic residence for non EU citizens married to EU citizens. Which is harsh, but logical.

  5. Very funny William. Pope did you ever date Caster Semenya by the way? I agree that that is the point Esso, but the Gardai and the big alarming press releases into RTE do me -16 scam marriage, shock, horror, alarm etc etc.

  6. I think they are just the ones they’ve taken action on Seconds. My Mrs is a registrar, sees it on a regular basis, 16 a month in her office would be more like it. Well, 5 – 10 maybe, but that’s just one office.

  7. EssoDee, the automatic residence for non-EU spouses of EU citizens cannot be revoked, as Ireland was obliged to transpose EU legislation into Irish law (links for EU legislation and Irish law are here: and

    And while there are a few scam marriages – always have been and always will be, as well as forced or arranged marriages, why make everyone else suffer (including me) just because of that?

    If we want to go down that road, then let’s ban drinking, as some people drive after having a few pints. Actually no, let’s stop everyone driving, because some people drive with no licence. See what I mean…?

  8. I do AM, and I suppose if all countries took that attitude many married couples could be legally barred from living anywhere, which is a ridiculous situation, so I’ll withdraw my previous statement about it being logical. As far as I can see though, none of the choices available are fair or totally desirable, and I can see why other countries have gone down the route of vetting couples to see if they are genuine – its a pragmatic solution. It is a dangerous precedent to allow the state to decide who can and can’t marry each other, but maybe its something we’ll just have to live with. You say there are “a few” scam marriages, but it stands to reason this is going to continue to escalate over time if uncontrolled, given that its only 5 years ago that the most recent accession countries joined the EU. How many millions of poor eastern europeans would be willing to take a few grand from an even poorer asian or african? I assume its only starting to show on the radar now because its taken a while for the networking to happen.

  9. You don’t need specialist training with the guards to realise that some 45 year old Pakistani with half his teeth missing genuinely pulled some hot 19 year old Latvian.

  10. Caligola….while I cant speak for Latvians and Pakistanis.However I can tell that in some cultures marriages between middle aged men and young women are common and genuine.You see it can be a cultural difference.And there in lies the problem with having some ignorant Garda or state official making a judgement, it will be based on Irish cultural attitudes and predjudices.Indeed I am married to a non EU national and yes she is younger than me although I do have all my teeth and am good looking enough to pull 19 year olds if I wanted to LOL.

  11. Caligula, I’m dating a toothless wonder and I’m hot as hell. Are you telling me it’s not legit. I loves him I say, teeth or no teeth.

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