Limerick Writers’ Centre

This just came in, and it started me thinking.  What a good idea for another competition.

Complete a limerick with the first line, There once was a fellow called Bock

A free Bock t-shirt goes to the best entry.

Anyway, this is from the Limerick Writers’ Centre, which is not the same thing as the Limerick-Writers’ Centre.


Limerick Writers’ Centre Presents An ‘On the Nail’ Special

Tues. 9th Nov 2010 8.00pm@The Locke Bar, Limerick.

Calling all poets and writers!

The All Ireland ‘limericks’ Championship takes place Tues 9th Nov in The Loft Venue at The Locke Bar, George’s Quay Limerick.

Start time 8.00pm!

The slam will take the form of a two round contest (so bring at least two ‘limericks’) and the verse must strictly follow the ‘limerick’ formula, it must also be of the performer’s own construction.

The winners will be chosen by an appointed three-person panel. The prize on offer is a trophy for the winner and two runner up prizes. If you want to participate, all you have to do is arrive on the night to the Locke Bar and give your name to the M.C. Alternatively you can send on your name to the requesting inclusion. Admission is free.

What is a Limerick? To be a Limerick, a verse MUST have: Five lines. Lines one, two, and five MUST rhyme. Lines three and four MUST rhyme. A good Limerick will have a clever, unanticipated punch line as line five. A good Limerick will not be insipid or pointless. A good Limerick often has puns, word play, eccentric spelling, or some other witty feature.

35 replies on “Limerick Writers’ Centre”

There once was a fellow called Bock
Whose brain went tickety-tock
Politicians’ delusions
And banksters’ illusions
Belong in the shrine up in Knock

What’s up in the shrine up in Knock?
Where the Catholics propagate cock
Apparition me arse
Superstition & farce
They have all of the country in hock

They have all of the country in hock
And the establishment mock
They give you some cheese
Say six billion please
Put all of the fuckers in dock

Put all of the fuckers in dock
Let judgement come with a shock
Away with you now
You screwed us and how
And slam the bolt shut on the lock

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental:

There once was a fellow called Bock
Who possessed just the one bollock
Whilst taking a piss
He said “Balls to this!
At least I’ve got a nice ol’ cock”

There once was a fellow called Bock
Who wrote about Prendeville’s cock
How that fella(tio) unfurled
His flag to the world
And the air hostess got such a shock.

There once was a fellow called Bock
Whose Blog was online ’round the clock
A Robber, he may say
But he’ll save the day
With plenty of help from his flock

…..ah ha ha..what a crawler, eh ?

There once was a fellow called Bock
who wanted a big yellow block
of sweet Irish cheese
for free he said, please
to hurl it at Brian tee-shock.

Oh, this is going to be FUN!…

There once was a fellow called Bock
Whose avatar puts me in shock
He hits to the gut
Of the whole damn world, but
His blog’s as I-rish as Hemlock

Man, I was just about to get back to work…

There once was a fellow called Bock
And many are they he will mock
Corrupt politicians
Abuse their positions
And priests who are beasts he’ll defrock

There once was a fellow called Bock
A myst’ry like Alfred Hitchcock
He turns over stones
There’s no place like Holmes
His name really should be Sherlock

Ok then, here goes.

There once was a fellow called Bock,
Who spoke of politics and whatnot,
He educated all of the minister minions,
With all of his illustrious opinions,
And put them back in their fucking cardboard box.

OK – how ’bout this?

There once was a fellow called Bock
Who throws the suspects to the dock
Now 20%
more offensive a gent
Behind them the cellbars will lock

There once was a fellow called Bock
Liked to put politicians heads on the block
From his blog, tales of scandal
Too many to handle
That his readers want him for Taoiseach!

Yeah, it’s kind of fun. Especially when you have to work and the weather is miserable and the dog unruly.

Talking of which:

There once was a fellow called Bock
who lived with a develish dog
that dog loved to bark
and howled in the dark
so Bock threw the dog in the bog.

There once was a fellow called Bock
To whose website multitudes flock.
Some find it offensive
But I must go defensive –
Sure his job is to mock and to shock.

Gee, thanks. Glad you like them. Here’s another…

There once was a fellow called Bock
In a world of excreting livestock
Now some call it shit
And then some shyte call it
But whatever it’s called, fills the crock

PS. My excuse for the abject sycophancy of my piece of doggerel is my belief that Bock is the adjudicator in this competition.

There once was a fellow called Bock
who saw his duty was to knock
so now he`s online
hear those politicos whine
as he continues to mock

Carrig and FME – nice, but lines 1,2 and 5 have to rhyme : )

Ellie – how do you pronounce “Taoiseach”?

…Kinda addictive this !

There once was a fellow called Bock
Who enthralled us with photo’s, food, and rock
But Gombeens are his prey
and well you may say
they’ll end up with there heads on a block

….” Let ’em eat cake ” !,,

Ellie – then why don’t they just SPELL it that way, then? ; )

There once was a fellow called Bock
In a world where the traffic’s gridlock
Maybe something he’ll say
Might just come save the day
And remove the cause of the roadblock

There once was a fellow called Bock
who managed to push his own flock
to write silly Lim’ricks
which caused the auld lit-chicks
to get all wound up like a hog.

It is addictive allright. I once had late night email conversations with a friend in Limerick. Started out with a fun-Limerick, went on to sonnetts, then haikus, eventually we wrote lengthy ballads about each other. My best email-exchanges ever! Was a real laugh!

Some1: taoisiach is pronounced tee-shock. The spelling is of no importance to a Limerick. You don’t spell laugh as laaf, don’t you?

Sorry – didn’t realize that it was an Irish word! I’m so used to English on this site, that I forgot that there is an Irish language out there. Found it, of course, at Wiki:

Basically, the Prime Minister of Ireland.

Curious, though. I can understand how siach can be shock, but how is taoi tee? Why are the a and o there?

There once was a fellow called Bock,
Who was ready to throttle the Taoiseach,
With his attempts to appease,
The angry public with cheese,
What a load of complete utter cock.

OK, here’s a BIG one. Take a deep breath…

Capital letters (other than from names) show where the stress should be, where it’s not obvious.

Sorry in advance that I left out people – I only looked back in recent posts that I posted in:



There once was a fellow called Bock
From his blog, here’s just some of his flock
Psycho Bill, Cap’n P
Lady O, FME
Kim and William, De Fan – they all rock!

Irate Chemist, Bold Pilot and Lee
Litfrago, Steve, KaTHY Flannery
Gary Ireland, Kae
Norma, HisGirlFriday
Sodacake, Abdul and Israeli

There’s Unstranger, Rough, Hook and DazMAN
And TheSystemWorks and Sula Man
Noel Allen and Lee
Ouch! and Great Zucchini
And EashtGalwayWoMAN and Ian

There’s Barb’ra, and Sean O’diuIN
CatriOna, Darragh, DamiEN
Darren Molloy and Mary
Vincent, Mael and Barry
Maire’ad, Ron, Spailpin and OiSIN

Morgor, SUboring and No. 8
There’s Mule Taker, The Chef, Geek and Kate
Paulo 1, Nautiman
Esso Dee, Imbatman
It’s just great, ain’t it mate? – But just wait…

So now here we have Pat and Ellie
And here’s Nemo, Carrig, Tony C
And always remember
our friend B November
Who’s joining this Limerick Bee

We see Grow Up, and 1eyedLesPaul
Marco, MARK, Fox, Sniff, Hoof – that’s not all
There’s RockMother, Mapstew
Don’t skip Some1lovesU
What a haul – don’t think small – rather tall!

Now it’s time to be perfectly frank
Gotta mention to whom we should thank
You know Bock is his name
“Say it straight” is his fame
What he thinks, only says it pointblank

All the crap out there won’t go away
Just by making believe it’s OK
So to hold back the sorrow
from arriving tomorrow
We just gotta do something TODAY

By talking things out on this blog
We may finally see through the fog
And then with Bock the Robber
We may finally clobber
Those bad guys so deserving a flog

Oh, this world could be such a nice place
Were all evil erased – not a trace!
Would the whole human race
Just reality face
Simply hugging…
in one…


Thanks, Bock!

(Back to work…)

There once was a fellow called Bock
Tuesday night he’ll be down in the Locke
To hear poems amphibrachic,
Anapestic and tragic,
The Robber your efforts wont knock.

Bock,you have us all driven mad!

..Last one…like I said addictive !

There once was a fellow called Bock
Who’s from Luimenach not under a rock
of Cowen he writes
and his bunch of shites
In whose mouths we should stick a sock

( Came awful close to using a word beginning with ‘C’, rather than ‘sock…!!! )

….some mods on above .

There once was a fellow named Bock
Who hailed from the town of Luimenach
Of Cowen he writes
And his bunch of shite
Onwards with our drunken Tee-shock

Christ…someone switch me off !

There once was a fellow named bock
a trunchoen – as solid as rock,
while ploughing a furrow
just south of Durrow,
she screamed, O she screamed, o fock!

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