Limerick Writers’ Centre

There once was a fellow called Bock …

This just came in, and it started me thinking.  What a good idea for another competition.

Complete a limerick with the first line, There once was a fellow called Bock

A free Bock t-shirt goes to the best entry.

Anyway, this is from the Limerick Writers’ Centre, which is not the same thing as the Limerick-Writers’ Centre.


Limerick Writers’ Centre Presents An ‘On the Nail’ Special

Tues. 9th Nov 2010 8.00pm@The Locke Bar, Limerick.

Calling all poets and writers!

The All Ireland ‘limericks’ Championship takes place Tues 9th Nov in The Loft Venue at The Locke Bar, George’s Quay Limerick.

Start time 8.00pm!

The slam will take the form of a two round contest (so bring at least two ‘limericks’) and the verse must strictly follow the ‘limerick’ formula, it must also be of the performer’s own construction.

The winners will be chosen by an appointed three-person panel. The prize on offer is a trophy for the winner and two runner up prizes. If you want to participate, all you have to do is arrive on the night to the Locke Bar and give your name to the M.C. Alternatively you can send on your name to the requesting inclusion. Admission is free.

What is a Limerick? To be a Limerick, a verse MUST have: Five lines. Lines one, two, and five MUST rhyme. Lines three and four MUST rhyme. A good Limerick will have a clever, unanticipated punch line as line five. A good Limerick will not be insipid or pointless. A good Limerick often has puns, word play, eccentric spelling, or some other witty feature.

35 thoughts on “Limerick Writers’ Centre

  1. There once was a fellow called Bock
    Whose brain went tickety-tock
    Politicians’ delusions
    And banksters’ illusions
    Belong in the shrine up in Knock

    What’s up in the shrine up in Knock?
    Where the Catholics propagate cock
    Apparition me arse
    Superstition & farce
    They have all of the country in hock

    They have all of the country in hock
    And the establishment mock
    They give you some cheese
    Say six billion please
    Put all of the fuckers in dock

    Put all of the fuckers in dock
    Let judgement come with a shock
    Away with you now
    You screwed us and how
    And slam the bolt shut on the lock

  2. All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental:

    There once was a fellow called Bock
    Who possessed just the one bollock
    Whilst taking a piss
    He said “Balls to this!
    At least I’ve got a nice ol’ cock”

  3. There once was a fellow called Bock
    Who wrote about Prendeville’s cock
    How that fella(tio) unfurled
    His flag to the world
    And the air hostess got such a shock.

  4. There once was a fellow called Bock
    Whose Blog was online ’round the clock
    A Robber, he may say
    But he’ll save the day
    With plenty of help from his flock

    …..ah ha ha..what a crawler, eh ?

  5. There once was a fellow called Bock
    who wanted a big yellow block
    of sweet Irish cheese
    for free he said, please
    to hurl it at Brian tee-shock.

  6. Oh, this is going to be FUN!…

    There once was a fellow called Bock
    Whose avatar puts me in shock
    He hits to the gut
    Of the whole damn world, but
    His blog’s as I-rish as Hemlock

  7. Man, I was just about to get back to work…

    There once was a fellow called Bock
    And many are they he will mock
    Corrupt politicians
    Abuse their positions
    And priests who are beasts he’ll defrock

  8. There once was a fellow called Bock
    A myst’ry like Alfred Hitchcock
    He turns over stones
    There’s no place like Holmes
    His name really should be Sherlock

  9. Ok then, here goes.

    There once was a fellow called Bock,
    Who spoke of politics and whatnot,
    He educated all of the minister minions,
    With all of his illustrious opinions,
    And put them back in their fucking cardboard box.

  10. OK – how ’bout this?

    There once was a fellow called Bock
    Who throws the suspects to the dock
    Now 20%
    more offensive a gent
    Behind them the cellbars will lock

  11. There once was a fellow called Bock
    Liked to put politicians heads on the block
    From his blog, tales of scandal
    Too many to handle
    That his readers want him for Taoiseach!

  12. Yeah, it’s kind of fun. Especially when you have to work and the weather is miserable and the dog unruly.

    Talking of which:

    There once was a fellow called Bock
    who lived with a develish dog
    that dog loved to bark
    and howled in the dark
    so Bock threw the dog in the bog.

  13. There once was a fellow called Bock
    To whose website multitudes flock.
    Some find it offensive
    But I must go defensive –
    Sure his job is to mock and to shock.

  14. Gee, thanks. Glad you like them. Here’s another…

    There once was a fellow called Bock
    In a world of excreting livestock
    Now some call it shit
    And then some shyte call it
    But whatever it’s called, fills the crock

  15. PS. My excuse for the abject sycophancy of my piece of doggerel is my belief that Bock is the adjudicator in this competition.

  16. There once was a fellow called Bock
    who saw his duty was to knock
    so now he`s online
    hear those politicos whine
    as he continues to mock

  17. Carrig and FME – nice, but lines 1,2 and 5 have to rhyme : )

    Ellie – how do you pronounce “Taoiseach”?

  18. …Kinda addictive this !

    There once was a fellow called Bock
    Who enthralled us with photo’s, food, and rock
    But Gombeens are his prey
    and well you may say
    they’ll end up with there heads on a block

    ….” Let ’em eat cake ” !,,

  19. Ellie – then why don’t they just SPELL it that way, then? ; )

    There once was a fellow called Bock
    In a world where the traffic’s gridlock
    Maybe something he’ll say
    Might just come save the day
    And remove the cause of the roadblock

  20. There once was a fellow called Bock
    who managed to push his own flock
    to write silly Lim’ricks
    which caused the auld lit-chicks
    to get all wound up like a hog.

    It is addictive allright. I once had late night email conversations with a friend in Limerick. Started out with a fun-Limerick, went on to sonnetts, then haikus, eventually we wrote lengthy ballads about each other. My best email-exchanges ever! Was a real laugh!

    Some1: taoisiach is pronounced tee-shock. The spelling is of no importance to a Limerick. You don’t spell laugh as laaf, don’t you?

  21. Sorry – didn’t realize that it was an Irish word! I’m so used to English on this site, that I forgot that there is an Irish language out there. Found it, of course, at Wiki:

    Basically, the Prime Minister of Ireland.

    Curious, though. I can understand how siach can be shock, but how is taoi tee? Why are the a and o there?

  22. There once was a fellow called Bock,
    Who was ready to throttle the Taoiseach,
    With his attempts to appease,
    The angry public with cheese,
    What a load of complete utter cock.

  23. OK, here’s a BIG one. Take a deep breath…

    Capital letters (other than from names) show where the stress should be, where it’s not obvious.

    Sorry in advance that I left out people – I only looked back in recent posts that I posted in:



    There once was a fellow called Bock
    From his blog, here’s just some of his flock
    Psycho Bill, Cap’n P
    Lady O, FME
    Kim and William, De Fan – they all rock!

    Irate Chemist, Bold Pilot and Lee
    Litfrago, Steve, KaTHY Flannery
    Gary Ireland, Kae
    Norma, HisGirlFriday
    Sodacake, Abdul and Israeli

    There’s Unstranger, Rough, Hook and DazMAN
    And TheSystemWorks and Sula Man
    Noel Allen and Lee
    Ouch! and Great Zucchini
    And EashtGalwayWoMAN and Ian

    There’s Barb’ra, and Sean O’diuIN
    CatriOna, Darragh, DamiEN
    Darren Molloy and Mary
    Vincent, Mael and Barry
    Maire’ad, Ron, Spailpin and OiSIN

    Morgor, SUboring and No. 8
    There’s Mule Taker, The Chef, Geek and Kate
    Paulo 1, Nautiman
    Esso Dee, Imbatman
    It’s just great, ain’t it mate? – But just wait…

    So now here we have Pat and Ellie
    And here’s Nemo, Carrig, Tony C
    And always remember
    our friend B November
    Who’s joining this Limerick Bee

    We see Grow Up, and 1eyedLesPaul
    Marco, MARK, Fox, Sniff, Hoof – that’s not all
    There’s RockMother, Mapstew
    Don’t skip Some1lovesU
    What a haul – don’t think small – rather tall!

    Now it’s time to be perfectly frank
    Gotta mention to whom we should thank
    You know Bock is his name
    “Say it straight” is his fame
    What he thinks, only says it pointblank

    All the crap out there won’t go away
    Just by making believe it’s OK
    So to hold back the sorrow
    from arriving tomorrow
    We just gotta do something TODAY

    By talking things out on this blog
    We may finally see through the fog
    And then with Bock the Robber
    We may finally clobber
    Those bad guys so deserving a flog

    Oh, this world could be such a nice place
    Were all evil erased – not a trace!
    Would the whole human race
    Just reality face
    Simply hugging…
    in one…


    Thanks, Bock!

    (Back to work…)

  24. There once was a fellow called Bock
    Tuesday night he’ll be down in the Locke
    To hear poems amphibrachic,
    Anapestic and tragic,
    The Robber your efforts wont knock.

    Bock,you have us all driven mad!

  25. ..Last one…like I said addictive !

    There once was a fellow called Bock
    Who’s from Luimenach not under a rock
    of Cowen he writes
    and his bunch of shites
    In whose mouths we should stick a sock

    ( Came awful close to using a word beginning with ‘C’, rather than ‘sock…!!! )

  26. ….some mods on above .

    There once was a fellow named Bock
    Who hailed from the town of Luimenach
    Of Cowen he writes
    And his bunch of shite
    Onwards with our drunken Tee-shock

    Christ…someone switch me off !

  27. There once was a fellow named bock
    a trunchoen – as solid as rock,
    while ploughing a furrow
    just south of Durrow,
    she screamed, O she screamed, o fock!

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