Ireland Paralysed By Cold Weather

 Posted by on December 1, 2010  Add comments
Dec 012010
 

Who’d have thought that it might get cold in winter?  Now there’s a shock for you.  Cold, by Jesus, and not just cold, but Arctic, according to some papers and broadcasters.  Baltic, according to others.  If they keep moving south like that, it could end up being tropical.

Equatorial snow, just like they have in Kenya.

Talking of which, it won’t be long now till that pompous fuck Bono appears on the radio singing about how they won’t have snow in Africa this Christmas.  Yes they will.  They’ll have it in Ethiopia, Morocco, Uganda, Tanzania, South Africa and Lesotho to mention a few.

And no. A lot of them don’t know it’s Christmas time because they’re fucking Muslims, but I digress.

All news bulletins are about the weather in Dublin.  All of them.  Barely a mention of that idiot Lenihan complaining that there has been far too much discussion of his treachery, and how could there be when buses are getting stuck in two inches of snow?  (In Dublin).

The morning news had it.   The lunchtime news covered nothing else.  Duffy the cretin devoted his entire edition of Shiteline to it.  The main evening news mentioned almost nothing else but the snow on the streets of Dublin.

It seemed to escape everyone’s attention that it’s the fucking winter and it’s supposed to get cold.  How the fuck else will we kill off all those unwanted songbirds?  The cats of the nation are working round the clock and even the Jack Russells are doing their bit, but God gave us a better way to stamp out the little bastards.  Freeze ’em.

But how can it be that, in the midst of the greatest financial calamity ever to befall our nation, the news media are so obsessed with a little snow in Dublin?

Of course, the rest of us are just as bad.  Everywhere you go, there are people talking about the cold weather as if they never heard of such a thing.  December?  Cold?  Who the fuck knew??

I don’t know how long ago our ancestors settled this little island.  I suppose it varies, depending who your ancestors were: Vikings, Normans, English, Celts, Japanese, Flatfish, but it’s been a long, long time.  And you’d think by now we’d be used to the rain and the cold in winter, wouldn’t you?  But no.  We stand around looking fucking miserable and asking each other stupid, pointless questions.

Will it ever stop raining?

Yes, you idiot.  It will.  Next question.

Telll me this.  Is there an Eskimo somewhere in the far North looking glumly into a hole in the ice and saying I hate this fucking place.  Wish I lived in Jamaica?

  26 Responses to “Ireland Paralysed By Cold Weather”

Comments (26)
  1.  

    What the fuck are you on about? Snow in Lesotho this Christmas? It’s nearly midsummer in Lesotho, 28 fucking degrees centigrade (lucky bastards).

    I think the cold is getting to your brain, mein Bockmeister!

  2.  

    Weather makes up so much of the broadcast news for two reasons. It’s simple and does not require any critical thinking on behalf of the reporter, (something most broadcast journalists (infobabes) are incapable of) and it’s cheap. Just step out the fucking door and there it is. Just listened to an RTE segment where they were interviewing 8 and 9 year olds in Howth about the weather. I smell a Pulitzer (or whatever the Irish equivelant in joutnalistic excellence is)

  3.  

    Hey, my avatar is topical again. It comes right at least once every year!

  4.  

    There’s snow where I live which is a good bit away from Dublin. As long as stocks of twenty Benson don’t run out and my ribs recover from my little slip (or nasty stumble according to a passerby) I’ll be fine.

    Did hear Lenihan’s accusations against the public for behaving treasonably on the radio. Reminds me of Hitler in his last days in the bunker and his immense disappointment in the German people for letting him down.

  5.  

    Kids changed radio stations on my car radio and I don’t know how to change back. The stations I get are talking about x factor, mediocre Irish celebs and Christmas Triviality. To each his own I suppose but can’t help wonder how much of our population are happily clueless about the state of our country.

    In fairness the weather has been unusually cold this year.

  6.  

    I made a lot of preparation after my experience last year.
    Threw out old stove, Think it burnt an entire rainforest last year, Cut a dead tree, Cut a fairly big infringing tree and trimmed all hedges, Never knew that Whitethorn generates more heat than coal, Although one neighbour told me to be ” judicious ” with cutting the whitethorn or the ” Faeries ” would get me…..Too late, That happened years ago.
    Put a grass roof on the pumphouse and bought a few bags of salt/sand mix.

    I got caught out in barn though, water had frozen by 4 oc but at least I can lug it from house, Masses of wood and hay, Thinking about cooking Christmas ham in hay, apparantly delicious but takes about 2 days !

    I recieved so much advice on this site, Still grateful.
    I left my ph no with all elderly neighbours in area so that I can ferry them to and from village, That allows me to hear great stories and get that ” can do ” vibe from them.
    I figured out last year how to use all the driving modes in vehicle ( bit ashamed it took so long ) But I still havent figured out how to programme the damn radio, So everyone is under threat if they dare to change stations.

    People get scared of nature because its so unpredictable and challenging, Where I live the weather generally takes precedent in conversation all year round, Not this time, No everyone is airing their disgust at FF and they are ” Diehard ” here.

  7.  

    There has been something stuck in my head since yesterday, My son told me he was looking out his window on Sunday, There is a small church, A graveyard and a small car park across form his house, He saw a car in the car park with wheels spinning trying to get traction in the snow, A 4×4 drove in to car park, Ignored the obvious difficulty of other driver , Turned and drove away.
    My son then went across, Knocked on the window, To see the woman in her car crying, He said he would go get his jeep and tow her out and bring her in for tea to warm up.
    She told him she visited her husbands grave every other day and even though she was terrified of driving in snow , She just had to visit, But had become so frightened, She thought she would be stuck there all night, She told my son that she was very grateful because she no longer believed there were any nice people left in Ireland.
    Just thought I would share that because it made me very sad that someone would feel that way and think that.
    Somehow I believe there are a lot of good people here and hopefully during these times we will let it show, Its possible people are too scared or worried to ask for help.

  8.  

    Nice couple of stories there Norma.

    I have heard similar stories of people helping each other during this cold spell.
    An old guy living in his falling down house (literally) was visited by a friend who insisted he come and stay with him for as long as he likes, eventhough this guy lives in fairly sparse conditions himself.

  9.  

    I believe that your dose of snow mayhem is coming in from the Atlantic tonight

  10.  

    Brilliant piece, Bock.

    Most of what you said occurred to me but I haven’t got the talent to express it with that kind of panache.

    As you say, all this weather coverage provides a useful distraction from the treachery of our political masters. And in particular, it distracts from the budget debate in the Dáil next week.

    The following quote from the latest issue of The Phoenix magazine is apposite in that regard:

    “This economic death warrant planned by the government now faces the elected members of the Oireachtas who must debate and hopefully reject the budget next week in what is, effectively, a pre-condition for implementation of the so-called ‘bail-out’. It may be the most important Dáil session since the Treaty debates 90 years ago.”

  11.  

    You have to take a little break from talking about the financial crisis, don’t you? Might as well be to talk about the weather. I don’t understand why more people in general move to warmer climates. Maybe a lot of them actually like the cold!

    What do you have against cute, little songbirds? The singing? Be happy that you don’t have neighbors with roosters in the back yard (or do you?).

    Norma – nice boy you got there. But I think we should feel sorry for the crying lady, who spends so much time with her dead husband. Not knowing the situation of course, but wouldn’t it be better for her to find a new, living one instead?

  12.  

    Some1lovesU I knew it I knew it that some gurrier would come along some day and make some naughty remark about people who keep roosters in their back yard. Well I keep a gaggle of roosters in my back yard and when they crow in the morning they crow in harmony and all the neighbors compliment me on the lovely music emanating from my yard , but it could be out of fear.

  13.  

    Norma Fair play to your son he seems a very well brought up lad, yes there are still some kind people left. I was looking for a rare piece of music myself but after a long search finally gave up. Then out of the blue I got an email from a total stranger saying I could have that piece of music for nothing. I wanted it so badly I took a chance and gave him my address and lo and behold one week later a whole box set of discs arrived. This kind man even paid the postage costs and despite all my pleas he would not allow me to reimburse him or pay for the box set. I dont know his name or where he is from but I will never forget his kindness.

  14.  

    Some1Loves you and Jack the lad. Thanks very much for your kind words, But seriously , I would be very shocked if my kids didnt display generosity, kindness and consideration to their fellow man…or woman, actually also an animal in distress.

    Jack. How good did that make you feel ? We need to feel good and not apologise for that.

    Some1lovesyou. Maybe the ” Woman in car ” has moved on but just doesnt want another man in her life ?

    I think Ive grown very tired of all the cynicism and the kind of laconic repartee that seems to govern the conversation and actions of the Irish as a people.
    I have been shown a lot of kindness in my life by people I know and from strangers, Sure I have had my share of the nasty stuff as well, I do firmly believe though that through these difficult times the more awareness and kindness we can show to others the sooner we will create this more forward thinking ” Renewed ” society we all blather about.

    We were about so much more than Banks, Bondholders, Politicians before now and maybe this challenge of actual difficult weather conditions can slow us down, Make us think and be kinder, There is something very wrong when an 8yr old child is asking about ” Bondholders “.

    I for one dont want to hear the nasty rhetoric that gets us nowhere, We all have a vision for the future but the only way it can be achieved is with structure and reaching out with a kindly mind, As opposed to the bitterness thats all about, I might start my own blog and call it ” Be nice for fucks sake ! “

  15.  

    Norma If you want a Christmas ham that tastes so beautiful you will do it again and again., heres how. Cook it in a Fulacht Fia . T

  16.  

    Norma, after reading your previous posts it did occur to me that you could start a blog along the lines you just mentioned. Your style of writing is pleasant and the positive warm hearted themes are what people need or indeed crave.
    I too have given up reading about the recession and whos fault it is and how corrupt everyone is. These thoughts are to be found repeated over and over again in many Irish internet sites. I am very well informed on the state of the nation and see no benefit in spending time reading a blow by blow account of how the system is collapsing. every week brings a new disaster.
    I prefer to focus on survival stratergies for myself and my family. That one sorted.
    Community development so we can all pull together and grow as communities and not struggle in isolation.

    Just realised I’m way off topic, sorry Bock.

    On topic, people in supermarket last night were buying loads of water. I asked why and was told their water mains were frozen. Tried to explain to them that if pipes in attic are frozen there is a good chance once they thaw leaks will show and their houses flooded.
    So all of you out there with frozen pipes turn off water at mains. If not frozen yet see Calre Co. Co. web site for good advice. I might post link later.

  17.  

    Builderfrom hell. Thats interesting because as my mind wandered yesterday I had an idea, Instead of all the bitterness that seems to going nowhere, I am hoping to create something productive, Now im not very computer savvy but I have daughter no 4 to do that stuff.
    In the meantime, Can I ask you, Are you really a Builder ? In the true sense of ” Survival Strategies ” I have this idea of ” Sharing the burden ” type of strategy unfolding in my head, I dont know how Bock would view this as it might be disruptive to his criteria, So I wont elaborate too much here.
    You always come across here as someone with a lot of integrity and a practical application of ideas, If its of any interest to you in your drive toward ” Survival Strategies ” I am on the same page there and I am trying to carry out a bit of a building project at my home to try and accomodate my ever increasing family ! Im at ” pricing ” stage so if you have any interest in taking a ” Look ” and if you arent too busy then thats my first step toward ” Practical Application ” I hope im not stepping outside a boundary on this site, If so apologies for my naivete.

  18.  

    Norma,
    Reluctant to give my e-mail address here but if you post on Boards.ie, Limerick City I could PM you from there.

    Apols. Bock for going off topic.

    Norma, if you do go ahead with Blog then you could be 20% less offensive than the great scribbler who runs this place.

  19.  

    BFH Will try that, Never been on boards.ie.
    Apologies also to Bock.
    No probs with ” Offence ” per se as long its of the Irreverent, Politically incorrect variety ! Sometimes though Im finding it very boring and my mental delete button just clicks in when its just used as an outlet for somebodys inability to access more intelligent wit or a guise for nastiness.

  20.  

    Jack 12 – All of the neighbors? Probably out of fear. That you’ll sic your roosters on them. Harmony is in the ears of the behearer. ; )

    What’s a gurrier? (too lazy to look it up.)

    Norma 14 – Maybe. But maybe she should also move on, away from hubby. Seems like a lot of wasted time and energy to me.

  21.  

    It’s slang for an uncouth, ill-behaved person. I believe the word might be a corruption of “guerrier”.

    Flann O Brien once wrote about the Tomb of the Unknown Gurrier.

  22.  

    Oh, OK. I suppose that I do have my gurry moments. Guess that this was one of them!

  23.  

    Some1Lovesyou. I think visiting Graves is very much an Irish Cultural trait, Dont know if thats the case elsewhere to the same extent.
    I do remember the dead but in my own way, I wouldnt be much of a Grave visitor, But anyway that was only a way of describing situ.
    Anyway im about to make my 6th trip down the icy hill today, Not ideal being this high in this weather, But the views are great !

  24.  

    Invoking the dead is far from uniquely Irish. Milosevic ignited the most recent Yugoslavian horror by doing exactly that at the Field of the Blackbirds.

  25.  

    It’s a big thing amongst religious Jews also – I’m used to it. They* think that the departed “soul” goes to Jewish heaven, while I suppose your people think that it goes to Christian heaven. But if it likely doesn’t go anywhere, but is buried instead along with the dead body, then it’s all a waste of time, isn’t it? Unless the grave visitor can then come back to (real) life invigorated and motivated, even though the dead person won’t. But to go every other day? Too much – obsessive.

    * I almost wrote “we”.

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