New Business Idea For Bock

 Posted by on December 2, 2010  Add comments
Dec 022010

You probably remember all my wonderful money-making ideas over the years.

There was Whack-a-Mary, which is going to be just HUGE this Christmas.  Then there was the New-York-Tourist idea that made me so fabulously wealthy.   And of course, who could forget the Consecrator, on which I built the fortune that allowed me to create a vast undersea cavern with henchmen on golf-karts.

But my latest idea is the biggest winner ever.

I’ve come up with the only business plan anyone ever heard of where you can’t lose your money.

What do you think of that?

No matter how much you screw up, and no matter what maniac you give your money to, it’s a winner every time.   In the entire history of bidness, you have never heard of such a cast-iron plunger, until now!!

What the jumpin’ jiminy, Bock? I hear you saying.  Can it really be true?

Sure can, my boy.  Step right up, and enter Doctor Bock’s Magic Snake-Oil Tent.

And what, you might ask, with good reason, is this astounding discovery?  Should we not all take up this line of work?

Of course we should, neighbour, and I’m going to tell you right now what to become, instead of a hobo on the street panhandling for dimes.  Roll up.  Roll up.

What, Bock?  What can it be?

Don’t you know, small person?  Don’t you know?

Sure don’t, Bock.  Is it a locomotive driver?

Nope.  All you’ll ever become is a tired old man on that footplate.

Well, is it a lawyer, Bock?

Nope.  Not a lawyer.   Even lawyers can lose.

A doctor.  That’s it, Bock, ain’t it?  A surge-eye-on.

Not a sawbones, boy.  They can sue ya.

What then, Bock?  What’s this great line of work that can’t lose a dime?  Tell us, Bock.  Please?

Oh all right then.  Just as soon as I get me a suit with pockets, and shiny braces, I’m off to Frankfurt, Germany, and I’m a-gonna buy myself some bonds in them Irish banks.  It doesn’t make a difference bigger than a pile of gopher-shit what I buy, because the Irish government is gonna make sure I don’t lose one red cent.

Landsakes and lawdamercy, Bock, you mean you gonna become a —

That’s right, Momma.  I’m gonna be a Bondholder.

  8 Responses to “New Business Idea For Bock”

Comments (8)

    it will never work, you have too much self-respect, and what would you tell the kids
    I suppose you you could tell them you became a lativan hookers pimp


    You could also change your name to 005.8% and do a bit of spying on the Q.T.


    No I think I will stick with the Anglo Irish Bank.


    Be careful in tham thar Frankfurt hills, pilgrim! There’s an ornery coot goes by the name of Merkel. Herd done tell that she’s fer burnin’ bondolders! You pay her mind, y’heah?


    Bokpilot Loved that one. Yeah dont fuck with ol evil eyes.


    Someone once that the best way to rob a Bank was to own one.


    Not as good as your idea, Bock, but hmmm.

    Here’s another one. I wonder how much the IMF/EU/ECB cabal might pay to ransom any TD’s who happened to be “waylaid” on their way to vote for the 2010 Self-flagellation Budget? ;-)


    Bock, I’m sorry, but I might have to sue for intellectual property theft. I already came up with that idea – in the “IMF/ECB Bailout” post five days ago (comment #50):

    “Wait a minute – why don’t you all just buy bank shares and bonds instead of sugar, and then everything will be fine?”

    OK – I was making a joke, but still. I’m willing to go into partnership with you, though. Let’s talk…

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