I’ve been out on an Atlantic rock for the last few days, Tedfestering, and comms have been a bit patchy at best, so I’m not entirely up to date on the final outcome of the general election. From what I can gather, we’ve kicked out one party for pursuing policies we detest, and replaced them with another party that has exactly the same policies. Would that be about right?
Right then. I think I’ll just stay here on Craggy Island , living off shellfish and communion wafers. It’s depressing.
Please tell me it isn’t true. We kicked out a party of crooks who bankrupted the country and in their place we’ve installed a bunch who think they should do exactly the same thing. Is that right? Is that it?
So this is revolution, Irish style. We hate your policies because they’re killing us, but we vote you into office anyway, and then we spend the next five years grumbling about you, but never to your face.
Wonderful. What a tough, feisty, single-minded people we are. No wonder we made such a huge success of independence, wouldn’t you say?
Of course there are some schadenfreude moments of satisfaction in the result, even if they’ll make not the slightest difference to our future. Indulge me: I’m only human. As Mrs Doyle might have said, revenge is a dish best served with a nice cup of tea.
And thus, I rejoice that the electorate has chosen to kick out useless, pompous windbags like Frank Fahey, Mary Hanafin, Mary Coughlan, Pat Carey, Seán Haughey, Máire Hoctor, John O Donoghue, Peter Power and Dick Roche. All out on their arses.
Great. And not only the FF gobshites, but every single one of the Greens who collaborated in Fianna Fáil’s treason against our country, all kicked out on their arses, including Éamon Green Broadband Bicycles Ryan.
Unfortunately, we have now replaced Fianna Fáil with Fianna Fake, and they will continue to steal your money so that no banker suffers as a consequence of his recklessness. Fine Gael will work night and day to ensure that bondholders the world over can’t believe their luck. And it’s all thanks to your generosity.
Aren’t you great? Take a bow, why don’t you? Go on go on go on!!