Denying a Fair Trial

Sentencing scumbags

We were talking this evening about sentencing people convicted of crimes and, as usual, the conversation grew heated.  There were four of us.  Let’s call them John, Jim, me and — of all things — a lawyer.

Now, before you jump to any conclusions, let me assure you that we had little or no drink to befuddle our skulls.

What were we talking about? Sentencing people convicted of violent crimes.

John, Jim and I had the same idea, in varying degrees of spleen.  It all involved locking violent criminals up and throwing away the key, although I have to give credit and say that people had their own take on it.

We all agreed one thing though: prison is not a punishment.  John reckoned things have gone so PC, jail is better than a hotel.  Jesus, if they’re hungry, they can order a Chinese and if they’re horny they can order a Latvian.

My personal view is that punishment should, as far as possible, reflect the crime.  If somebody breaks into your house, a squad of specially-trained officers should enter his squalid lair and break everything he values.  They should steal all his miserable property and either give it away or throw it in the river.  If he has a car, they should take it, crash it into a wall and burn it, so that he experiences at first hand what he has been doing to the rest of us.  I don’t care if any of that helps him to become a better person.  Fuck him.

We live in a country where some lowlife can have 100 convictions for the same crime and yet the courts have to treat him as blameless every time he appears before them.  To my mind, this is horseshit.  I don’t know about you, but I’ve never committed a crime of violence against anyone, and neither has any of my friends, even though we’ve all probably been drunk or stoned at some time in our lives, and all of us have known difficult times.  I think, if you added up all the convictions for violent crime between myself and all my friends, you would come to a grand total of zero.

There are too many excuses, but then I started thinking, is there an industry in this?  How could a person make money out of lowlife scumbag pricks before the courts?

I had an idea about unscrupulous defence lawyers which obviously doesn’t include anyone I know personally, or anyone I ever heard of, or anyone who might bear a resemblance to anyone else, living or dead, or to anyone at all.   God, no.

I was just theorising, speculating, hypothesising and generally kicking the ball up into the air.   What if?

So, I said to the blameless lawyer.  Supposing I was a grasping, unprincipled, scumbag-defending attorney quite unlike you

Yes? he murmured, with what I thought was a hint of menace.

Don’t you hint of menace me, you scumbag-defending fuck, I said.


You must have misheard me, I said. Isn’t it a lovely evening?

Carry on, he said.

Thank you, Judge, I bowed.  Supposing I happened to be an unprincipled scumbag-defending attorney with a good grasp of technical matters.

Aha! Jim interjected.  That’s an oxymoron.


Attorney with a grasp of technical matters.

It’s a hypothetical, I soothed.  Chill.

Carry on.

And suppose I registered  a website in a place where nobody could trace the owner.  Vanuatu or the Seychelles or something.

Mmm Hmmmm?

Well, supposing I had a scumbag client accused of, I don’t know, murder or bank robbery or something.


And supposing I put a load of stuff on my anonymous website about him.  Suppose I said he definitely did it.  He’s a crook, a murderer, a liar and a generally all-round bad sort?  Wouldn’t that deny him a fair trial and wouldn’t they have to let him off?

The lawyer looked at me for a long minute.

No,   he said.

Why not? I demanded.

Because you’d have to show that the thing was widely read in the area where the accused lives.

You mean it would have to be a well-known website?


Read by a lot of people?


But then it might work, and a guilty scumbag might be prepared to pay a lot of money for the service?

I daresay, he said.  Why?

Nothing, I told him.  You just got me thinking.  That’s all.





45 thoughts on “Denying a Fair Trial

  1. Would I be libelling you or myself if i was to write about an individual who owns a substantial portion of some irish newspapers who was recently the subject of …..

  2. Not a bad idea. You could also, of course deal with your filthy clients completely anonymously. Just simple money transfers, e-mails and such. Of course hoping that these fucking morons can muster up at least one of them smart enough to use a computer… Or at least threaten someone into doing it for them, all the better for you, just another degree of separation for you from the entire situation.

    You may be on to something here…

  3. Aren’t the scum bags well versed in the dark arts of Computer working ?

    I used a computer nerd who also worked for the scumbags, and he told me he had been called upon by the Gardai to verify the bona fide purchase of laptops he had sold them.

    I’m not sure of the facts here but a local blog site in Limerick had been the target of some threatening scumbags for some anonymous stuff written about them. ?

  4. That was a bullshit story promoted by a local newspaper. Some fool made a vaguely threatening comment in txt spk to a local site, the Limerick Blogger, which is little more than a discussion board among ten or twelve people, and another fool reader – not the site owner – passed it to the paper. It was never connected with the person who submitted the comment.

    The whole thing says more about the lack of professionalism on the part of the website than about anything else.

  5. Discussion board between 10 or 12 people yes, and their alter egos take the head count to about 40, then the moderators alter egos take it to 50

    I digress, but scum bags are online

  6. They pride themselves on the anti spelling Nazi stance, it’s in the rules. (no spelling Nazi’s here)

    I always have trouble with the punctuation, as sometimes people say the opposite of what they meant through poor punctuation. Or say something other then they meant to.

    I could live with the spelling if their weren’t so Xenophobic, racist, stupid, devious, cleeky, the list goes on

  7. They should steal all his miserable property and either give it away or throw it in the river.

    Why not just throw the scumbag in the river?

  8. Why not have them wear a symbol of their guilt, like a shamrock or a five pointed star, oh, wait, that was tried before.

  9. No it wasn’t, although it sounds like you’re thinking of the Nazis’ tagging of innocent Jews. This is about guilty scumbags.

  10. A quick comment on the “unprofessional” website ye mention. Its like a 5 man circus. You have the guy with 5500 post to his name yet you will struggle to find one of those comments remotely interesting. Then you have guy who desperately tries to talk about ‘the hospital’ on every thread and is generally crude, crass and unfunny. Who else is there? Who cares!

    Anyway back on topic….I think the revolving door suits the legal profession and keeps their pockets healthy. Hand out a few lengthy sentences for the more serious infamous criminal element to keep the public happy. In reality, these ‘petty’ criminals have the greatest adverse effect on society. It should be three strikes and your going down for a long time no matter what the crime!!

  11. I have a very special story about the shit poor standard of their site management. The site owner and one of the mods know all about it. I might write it up some time.

  12. go on Bock write about it I would love to know what thats about, I used to be a poster but havent posted in over a year, stil read it and enjoy it except for LE posts. used to pass on those he was the crude crass and unfunny one. looks like he has been found out on the site anyway over his comments here

    go one do a story on it

  13. I’ll write about it some time, but not now. It isn’t an important thing to waste time on. Some of the admins know what I’m referring to.

    There are serious things taking place in the country, and there are also fun things to do in my life. LB fits into neither of those categories. It’s a discussion board without the discussion, but if people want to talk about their favourite chip-shop, or the latest fight outside their local off-licence, who am I to stop them?

    That’s the level of debate there, and it keeps them happy. Fair enough. It isn’t my problem.

  14. I reckon the standards of contributers and commentors on this blog are of the highest around. Myself being a prime example of that which I mention.

    Back on topic, for some reason this story struck me as not being hypothetical.
    So many guilty scumbags out there. So much mula to be made.

  15. It is hypothetical but not implausible. I’m not saying this has been done, but I am speculating on the possibility that it might happen.

  16. “I reckon the standards of contributers and commentors on this blog are of the highest around”

    Ha ha, well done sweetheart. You might want to use spellcheck the next time.

  17. Excuse me. Contributors and commenters.

    You might want to kiss my arse. Is it just me or does it seem there has been an increase in the amount of psychos let loose on the internets lately.
    Were they all confined somewhere else that shut up shop or something?

    They’re not used to the standards around here obviously.

  18. A commentor would be a high grade commenter. As in “I’m a commentor, dammit” (swishes hand dramatically in the air). Emphasis on the “or” syllable. So FME has invented a new word. Let’s not get jealous.

    What retribution could I justifiably demand if two scumbags attempted to kill me. This has occurred. “Let’s kill him” one of them said over my prone and battered self kind of gave the game away.

    I didn’t get the second half of the article if my ignorance can be excused.

  19. That doesn’t surprise me, given past experience, but I really, really, truly don’t care what happens on a local discussion board.

    Now, can we please get back on topic?

  20. Fair point. Look how aisy Harney got Haughey off the hook doing exactly that. And was well-rewarded for it with her 400 dollar hairdos what was that about lipstick on a nevermind. Paralepsis. That’s what she was guilty of I think. You that’s good at Greek Bock you tell me.

  21. “Is it just me or does it seem there has been an increase in the amount of psychos let loose on the internets lately. Were they all confined somewhere else that shut up shop or something? ”

    Still wondering…

  22. I think a worm hole has been left open from a local site in Limerick.

    And some people are proving a point, as they were criticised on here

    Don’t recognise the prolific poster from the other site

  23. Lots of excitement over there people alleged to have been banned, people getting very excited altogether, some group bonding.

    Bad Bock said bad things.

    Bloggers very sad

    Oh well

    If the cap fits and all that.

  24. Would humbly venture that you might be observing an apparent increase in your local area of the internets of incidents of people who appear relatively psychotic to your eyes. But while at a loss to know what you/your particular in-group might deem non-sane/not a constituent good in accordance with your subjective frameworks, it’s impossible to say other than: ‘Yeah it’s probably just you”.

  25. That comment wasn’t necessarily directed at your JOD. Interesting you feel the need to address it.
    There isn’t much of an “in-group” around here.
    Not to say there aren’t the regulars, but not too much of a sheep mentality around these parts either.
    And Bock is pretty consistent and fair with everyone.
    There’s no pretence of faux liberalism that enables all sorts of vulgarity, around here.
    That’s been my experience at least. Subjective as it is.

  26. OK I will when I’ve time to find it Bock. I just got sick of seeing a long line of comments with ”John O’Driscoll” prefixing them and if I was feeling like that reckoned others migth too so used the initials instead for variety. Don’t know why it might be interesting FME. The term ”psycho’ is an empty one, having no provenance in the DSMIV so it’s actually meaningless. If you’d said ‘psychotic’ that’d be different. Annyway I was just makin a crack about how ludicrous (imo) it is to make a general observation on something as vast, damn near infinite, as the internets, when, like the laws of physics, all observable phenomena must necessarily be local. And normative frameworks are always defined by an ‘in-group’ versus an ‘out-group’ no?

  27. I could have said nuts too JOD. Or a sandwich short of a picnic. Or a a sausage short of a fry up. Mad as a brush – a march hare. Loopy. Doolally. Cuckoo. Crackpot. Looney. And so on.
    Just a general rumination on this part of the internets, after reading comments from characters such as ‘Ted McTed’ on the ‘Corrib Gardai Rape Joke Caught On Tape’ post.
    Those terms wouldn’t be in the DSMIV either I would imagine. I wouldn’t be able to make the official diagnosis myself. But you’d get the feeling there’s something amiss all right.
    I don’t concern myself too much with ‘in-groups’ and ‘out-groups’, so long as a person is decent.
    That is all.

  28. Not quite all. I wish you lifelong good mental health FMB, or sanity, however you personally define it. Not least so that such vacuous unqualified and casual terms of abuse against those not so fortunate as you cite never serve to cause you personal distress. And as for ‘decent’ and ‘decency’, may your personal concept of those normatives never be shivered from the nave unto the chaps by life’s exigiencies. Btw it’s a well established axiom that when confronted by any material issue, humanity splits into two polar groups. They can’t all be right, nor yet all wrong. For nothing’s right nor wrong but saying makes it so.

  29. I’m not sure who any abuse was aimed at. No need to get all defensive JOB.
    But thanks for the good wishes and the same to you.

  30. No worries FME. I wasn’t saying you were aiming abuse at anyone, self least of all. A bullet unfired is just as much a bullet as one fired. A term of abuse is just as much a term of abuse the same way, aimed or not. Love yer typo :)

  31. Sorry for being over-precise or pednatic as I think Gavin Duffy called Bock today. If I call Brian Lenihan or Brian Cowen or Bertie Ahern or any of them a ”rotten cunt” of course I know they’re not a decomposing vagina, as described by a 14th century Old Norse word. I mean they are traitors thieves and villains, and I’m just levelling a generalised term of abuse at them for the sake of economy of language and to make meself feel better about being a stupid fucking idiot for remaining in this destroyed dump and paying for the debts of their cronies and controllers is all. We can all be guilty of that. Using imprecise terms to convey contempt and disrespect. It’s just that..I suppose…having battled with mechanical/electrical/chemical irruptions in several major organs, heart and brain both, in me past, I get a little sensitive over how I imagine such terminology affects others so afflicted. Don’t bother me none. Long time since I felt upset or defensive as regards the negative opinions of random collections of molecules in a Universe this big and this full of the poxy things. L8er

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