Giving Back the Six Counties

Finding the true rulers of Ulster

All these celebrity visits have our heads in a right old tizzy.  Everywhere I look, dyed-in-the-wool Shinners are crying into their beer and asking themselves how they could ever have been so unkind to the nice old lady.

It got me thinking about the part of Ulster that constitutes Northern Ireland.  Give back the Six Counties!! as the saying goes.   Aye.

I think that’s fair enough, as long as the six counties go back to the people they were taken from.

And who would that be?  Well, inconveniently for the modern patriots, Ireland was not a democracy at the time of the  Tudor Conquest.  It was, in fact, ruled by, I’m afraid to say, monarchies.


Yep.  Monarchies just like the Brits.

And how much say did the ordinary Joe have in the running of these monarchies?

Bugger-all, that’s how much.

Now, this presents us with a small conundrum.  When the Brits finally give the Six Counties back to the people they took them from, who exactly will they hand them over to?

Well, it won’t be me and you anyway, unless your ancestors happened to be ancient Irish aristocracy.  If your great-great-great etc grandfather happened to be a small farmer, he had exactly the same freedoms under the local monarchy as he did under the Brits.  None.

So who, then?  Who should get the Six Counties?

I’ll tell you, will I?

We’ll have to head for France and Spain, looking for the descendants of Aodh Ruadh Ó Dómhnaill agus Aodh Ó Néill, na Tiarnaighe Uladh.  We’ll find them in their chateaux and in their vineyards.  They’ll be called Armand O Neill and Roberto O Donnell, and they’ll happily resume the birthright so cruelly torn from their ancestors by the evil Tudor Queen.

We might as well.  France and Germany are going to own the whole island soon anyway.



24 thoughts on “Giving Back the Six Counties

  1. Lock the door Bock – the truth hurts and the knuckle draggers and woolly faces have taken note and might come and pay a visit! Our way or no way! Still reckon nationalism (here and elsewhere) is bullshit used by a few to gather money and power. On the subject dont get the ‘we kicked the shit out of those bastards a hundred years ago’ anthems (or they kicked the shit out of us and roll on the day when we can kick the shit out of them). The first time I hear an anthem which goes along the lines of ‘we are all just wankers and need to sort ourselves out and do some good in this world’ I’ll sign up to that nation. The rest can fuck off, drag their knuckles elsewhere, have the scariest woolly face competitions, and leave me alone.

  2. Now that’s an interesting question but i do have the answer. It’s simple really. I’d rule. Fair and simple. My people were the rulers at the time of the Norman conquests and for many years before. I am the daughter of Princess Scotia of Sythia (who lent her name to the Scotti (who populated Scotland) and of Finnius Fairsaid, and their son is Gaedel Glas, progenitor of the Gaels, and directly descended from King David. After all that is why our Presidential Standard is a yellow (white) harp on baby blue background. Same emblem as that of Kind David. But I digress a little. Thing is it’s not me who should rule, it is probably you too and half of the country as well.

    We all had our own tuaths, our own kings, our own prophets and our own ollamhs. Now we just have inherited the crap that was installed on our Celtic hard-drive with the later invasions. Then its true we won back most of our little isle, but when we took over the computer but never changed the programme.

    We should rule our tuaths. And by we, I mean the indigenous pops of NI (fir bolg) and ourselves the indigenous PoPs of Eire (Gaels) and also the indingenous pops of Scotland (Sotti) too. But as for the Picts! Well no matter how hard we tried we never did manage to invade and conquer!

  3. Still there, Picting along nicely between the Welsh and Scottish border as far as I know. Bock, don’t you think it’s time you got a haircut? Also a top with a less higher neck might be.. becoming. Although, stay away from frilly tops, you might look a bit like Maggie Thatcher after a knees up in a coal mine with Scargill admiring Beit paintings. :-)

  4. As I understand it the latest reports suggest

    They are gathered together in a cave with several species of small furry animals, and they’re grooving


  5. That’s the last I heard of them too. Coincidentally, Roger has been playing in Dublin these last few days. Maybe someone should ask him.

  6. Might have gone to see him, if he had come a bit closer, something missing from the whole Roger offering though IMHO.

    Roger does a quite good Pictish / Scottish accent on that track

  7. If you google it the lyrics come up, and I don;t know if someone is taking the piss, they say the last line is

    “and the wind cried Mary “”As I remember it

    It was “and the wind cried Nicht”

    Which is very similar and maybe pre-dates the knights who said “NI”

  8. bock – I’m with superba on this one .

    your question was predicated on the continuation of a monarchy
    in this place, and monarchy as is commonaly accepted, is broken, unfair – doesn’t distribute wealth – propegates entitlement and fundementally is pollaxed.

    in 2011 monarchy doesn’t do it anymore – probably never did.

    superba, succinctly, says that we would take it over i.e. we
    citizen ireland and by take it over, i mean it would be have been
    merged into a broader island population ruling itself by whatever means
    the people , all the people , decided, were it left to naturally develop all that time ago.

    but i’m hoping the kings and queens & their kids would be living a shameless
    life in some gehtto

  9. The Knights who say “Ni” sound like they are saying ‘Niin’ , which is really funny if you’re Finnish.

    The Finn’s “Norn Iron” is Karelia: Finland used to be shaped like a woman in a dress but the Russians chopped off her right arm.
    (Incidentally there’s a nice beer in Finland named after the region called ‘Karalja’ which prompts Finns out on the batter to hold their tinnies aloft and say: “We’re taking it back!- one can at a time!”)

  10. Maybe this is why all those soccer players aren’t so keen on playing for their country – there is no such thing. they have come to a considered, logical position based on a deep understanding of history, identity and politics. And ye all just thought they were lazy selfish gits. Shame.

  11. Scotland was invaded by the “Scotii” from Ireland, and also by the horned helmeted fellas in the north, both of whom took over the Highlands for a wee while until William Wallace and Rob Roy sobered up. Meanwhile, the whole Norman stramash of 1066 led to the Lowlands being over run by Normans and perhaps a few displaced Anglo-Saxons to add to the Angles already there from the invasions of the seventh century.

    So what became of those awfie Picts with their blue and white flag that is so often mistaken for the national flag of Scotland? There are several theories, but the most probable is that the Picts eventually wound up being absorbed into the population of the Highlands and as far as the Isle of Skye, which is very probable due to the poor quality of their soup for starters (pardon the pun) and the amount of people who still speak with an unintelligible dialect.

  12. I met a Scottish fellow once who claimed to be a Pict, but he turned out to be an unmitigated bullshitter.

  13. Aye, I once shared a car journey with your man’s brother. We left him without shoes in his beloved Cúige Uladh, the only topic of his conversation during a three hour drive. He spoke with an affected accent that would make your hair melt. I believe we kept the laces for a while as a wee trophy.

  14. Got it a bit wrong about the Picts, been a long time since they invaded my thoughts. But when the cogs turned, I recollect they came from Scythia via Aquitane on route to Albany but for some reason landed in Ireland or Scotland and asked the Scotti for refuge. They had no women of their own, so the Scotti, lent them some of their own, (maybe the Scots invented prima nocte and not Longshanks), anyway, population exploded, they became a handful and looks like the Scots finished them off or sent them off to Brittany or Galacia – some where East by all accounts. Phoof! just like that they appeared, then phoof! gone… bit pictish really :-)

  15. Any thoughts on the cleansing ceremony rumored to be organised by the post-Armalite gang to scrub the shrine of Irish nationalism clean of foreign contamination…

    There’s a word that springs to mind, and it rhymes with ‘Ollocks…!

    Peace and Love y’all.

  16. Would they not give that whole area to the State and leave it as a big ole nature reserve for skobies?

  17. The Brits always made a better job of running things like that. If we had it, The skobies might become extinct.

    Ah! I like the way you think.

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