– Mr President? It was an aide, holding the presidential Black Berry. Call for you.
– Who is it?
– It’s Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir, the Prime Minister of Iceland.
– Oh, Jeez. Right. When do we land in, ah, in …
– Dub Lin?
– Yeah. Dub Lin.
– About an hour, Sir.
– Ok. Gimme the phone. Jóhanna!! How are you? How’s Sigurðar?
– He died years ago. Cut the crap and listen.
– Do you really want to have the dinner with Enda Kenny?
– Excuse me?
– Answer the question. If you don’t want to have dinner with Enda Kenny, listen very carefully.
– I’m listenin’
– Remember last year when we used our giant volcano weapon to shut down the world?
– I sure do.
– And you know how we stiffed our bondholders, and it made no difference at all, and the sky didn’t cave in?
– Well, we’ve changed our minds. We want to pay them back.
– You do?
– No, silly. Hahahahaha!! We want YOU to pay them back.
– Excuse me?
– We will slice the deal.
– You mean cut a deal?
– Whatever. We will cut up the deal with you.
– What kinda deal?
– We will save you the talking to Kenny, but you still can make the silly speeches about the old days and the great famishing and how your uncle had to go to Africa and the Irish builded all of America and how they was sending bags of shamrock for the Terrific Depression.
– Great Depression. But wait a minute. Go back. You can arrange all that and I still won’t have to put up with Kenny?
– We sure can. All week we have been firing up our volcanoes and now the whole world is shitting in case we pull the trigger big-time, kaboom.
– I’m startin’ to follow you.
– Well, we don’t owe so much like the Irish. Maybe just two or three billion dollars. You pay our bills and we put up the small ash cloud. The small danger. You can say, Very sorry Enda but I have to be in London and I gotta go now or the ashes is stopping our flight so very sorry, Zoom!! you’re gone.
– And this is going to cost, what — two, maybe three billion?
– That’s right.
– Dinner with Kenny or three billion bucks? Looks like a no-brainer.
– Never mind Kenny. What about our deal?
– I think we can do business.
– We can?
– Yes, we can!!